- qnqnx
- Nov 14, 2010
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theres also the goon that collects rat skulls from under his fridge to decorate his warhammer toys
Brutal
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Oct 8, 2015 05:48
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May 15, 2024 12:50
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- qnqnx
- Nov 14, 2010
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Okay, you face-loving Jesus-making GBS threads smug "we're so above gaming" assholes, here are 10 great reasons that you should give a poo poo about Warhammer - Warhams to all my orc bros:
1. Orcs. Motherfucking orcs are the most badass thing this side of Richard Dawkins. Or should I say... Richard WAAAAAGHHHHHkins?! Yeah, I should loving say that, because orcs are just so goddamn badass and they love motherfucking violence.
2. The point buy system. None of this "well I have infinite powers because I'm a cool wizard cop and I have a laser that penetrates your shield" made-up child imagination bullshit that literally almost every other game on the planet has, especially loving Warmachines, which I will NOT be discussing because FARTmachines Pisses. Me. Off. Anyway, I'm going off on another of my epic rants (check my YouTube channel for more, RationalOrcGaming), the point buy system in Warhams ensures that the only thing that matters in a game is tactics. It's just you, your opponent - probably some fedora-wearing MRA, but that just makes it that much more fun to KICK HIS rear end - and 150 points of badass killing machines.
3. The storyline. Warhammer has one of the most developed and iconic worlds in gaming. I don't even need to go into detail here, even if you're not a Warhams fun you loving LOVE the world it's created.
4. Skraven.
5. The sense of community. It doesn't matter if you're white or Asian or a man or a female - gamer girls check out my OKC profile, RationalOrcDating, yes I am single, no I am not a virgin, yes, I do eat pussy and put the female's pleasure first - when you're part of the Warhams club you're part of a family. We look out for each other, and we're always ready for a game night.
6. Job opportunities. Games Workshop loves to hire fans to make the game they love - that's right, you can motherfucking MAKE this goddamn game - so if you're really into Warhammer it isn't just a hobby, it's a career. If you're stuck in a dead-end retail job because people won't support your YouTube career, send Games Workshop some of your cool Warhammer ideas and poo poo, you might just have a better job.
7. Dating. I know so many people who met their girlfriends at Warhammer tournaments, and now they game together every day. You do NOT have to choose between gaming and love: Warhammer will give you both.
8. Warhammer 40K. What? What's Warhammer 40K. Uhhh... it's just Warhammer but in loving SPACE. You should definitely be playing this too, it Kicks. Some. loving. rear end. Orcs in space? Hell loving yes.
9. Painting miniatures. Warhammer isn't just a game, it's art, and if you love to be creative you should play Warhammer, because these miniatures are high-quality and goddamn beautiful like a kitten covered in bacon. This is the place where STEM meets STEAM.
10. It's Just Plain Fun! This is pretty much the most fun game that is out there, a thousand times better than Magic or D&D or anything. And unlike video games it's not just a mindless shooting fest, Warhammer will make you smarter, more tactical, and ready to handle the zombie apocalypse. That's right... come the apocalypse, you'll be eating sriracha chicken wings with your Warhammer pals while everyone else gets eaten by the zombies... because you're just that bad rear end!
*checklist in hand* Orcs, Dawkins, sriracha, etc, etc, etc... this is win
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Oct 8, 2015 17:49
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Oct 8, 2015 05:48
