I too, try to kill sports fans

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > I too, try to kill sports fans

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Kirios: Jan 26, 2010

Sir I've been on the internet since 1996. I have seen a LOT of dudes cutting off their dick. You're going to have to do more than that to impress me.

# ? Oct 13, 2015 21:04

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 09:39

Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

Adlai Stevenson posted:

Well of course Israeli teams are in European associations! They can't go to Asia because too many countries will refuse to play against them.

What other regions can we chain this into? I'm looking in Australia's direction

Maybe I'm being wooshed but I'm not sure what this is getting at. I was just using them as example of how diverse and large the group is.

# ? Oct 13, 2015 21:26

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

dont cut your dick off. write "nickrowefillea rules" on it and post a picture of it

# ? Oct 13, 2015 22:26

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

How am I supposed to fit all of that on my micropeen?

# ? Oct 13, 2015 22:42

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Mel Mudkiper posted:

seeing a real lack of empty quotes for the possibility of a dude cutting off his dick

and I thought I knew you people

I don't want Rap to hurt himself. He's a friend and a good poster.

# ? Oct 13, 2015 22:59

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/13881217/losangeles-police-say-dodger-stadium-assault-suspects-thought-mom-son

quote:

LOS ANGELES -- Los Angeles police Chief Charlie Beck says two people involved in an assault outside Dodger Stadium that critically injured a baseball fan are believed to be a mother and son.

Beck said Tuesday that detectives had yet to interview the man who was injured late Friday after the Dodgers lost the opening game of the NL Division Series to the New York Mets.

The chief declined to discuss what may have led to the fight until the victim is interviewed, and he urged anyone who saw or recorded the incident to contact police.

Beck says stadium security has been significantly enhanced since a 2011 beating that left San Francisco Giants fan Bryan Stow with brain damage.

The fight occurred in a stadium parking lot.

LAPD Officer Matthew Ludwig told the Los Angeles Times the apparent victim was still in critical but stable condition Monday and it was not clear whether the people involved in the fight were fans of rival teams.

Witnesses told the Los Angeles ABC affiliate that the fight took place between Dodgers and Mets fans and that the injured party was a Mets fan. They said the man was punched and then fell, striking his head.

A Dodgers spokesman told the Times that the team had no comment on the situation.

The incident is drawing comparisons to the beating of Giants fan Bryan Stow, who was disabled from brain damage suffered in an attack on Opening Day 2011 in a stadium parking lot outside Dodger Stadium.

The Stow beating focused attention on security at the stadium and led to a $14 million jury verdict against the Dodgers for the former Santa Cruz paramedic. Louie Sanchez and Marvin Norwood pleaded guilty in the case.

hey mom let's punch this guy in the head until he dies

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:04

Rasczak: Mar 30, 2005

Parmesan Basil posted:

I don't want Rap to hurt himself. He's a friend and a good poster.

Besides knowing this place he'd probably bleed out and then we'd have to make another memorial thread and donate to some kind of dick cutters prevention hotline

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:07

ur in my world now: Jun 5, 2006; ^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}; Smellrose

Intruder posted:

How am I supposed to fit all of that on my micropeen?

initials

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:18

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

Luigi Thirty posted:

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/13881217/losangeles-police-say-dodger-stadium-assault-suspects-thought-mom-son

hey mom let's punch this guy in the head until he dies

"Fun" fact about the Stow case: his health insurance company took a huge chunk of his settlement through subrogation and he received less than $6 million. The estimated cost for his lifetime care is $30 million by the way

Also the Dodgers insurance company purchased the $3.4m lien from his insurance company for $1.8m and deducted the $3.4m from the money they sent him for the settlement which nets them $1.6m

Intruder fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Oct 13, 2015

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:23

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Rasczak posted:

Besides knowing this place he'd probably bleed out and then we'd have to make another memorial thread and donate to some kind of dick cutters prevention hotline

A powerful tragedy. I wish the best for all my posting pals. Yes, even the guys who root for evil teams

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:41

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

Intruder posted:

"Fun" fact about the Stow case: his health insurance company took a huge chunk of his settlement through subrogation and he received less than $6 million. The estimated cost for his lifetime care is $30 million by the way

Also the Dodgers insurance company purchased the $3.4m lien from his insurance company for $1.8m and deducted the $3.4m from the money they sent him for the settlement which nets them $1.6m

gently caress America.

# ? Oct 13, 2015 23:57

Marketing New Brain: Apr 26, 2008

Intruder posted:

"Fun" fact about the Stow case: his health insurance company took a huge chunk of his settlement through subrogation and he received less than $6 million. The estimated cost for his lifetime care is $30 million by the way

Also the Dodgers insurance company purchased the $3.4m lien from his insurance company for $1.8m and deducted the $3.4m from the money they sent him for the settlement which nets them $1.6m

Maybe if he spent his insurance money on lobbyists instead of selfishly on his own care, this wouldn't be an issue?

# ? Oct 14, 2015 00:46

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

Chilichimp posted:

gently caress America.

Actually, that's based in English common law and has ties to Roman law.

# ? Oct 14, 2015 02:54

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

based on the principle of deodands, the city of LA now has a legal right to own the stadium since it injured the man when he fell...assuming he dies.

# ? Oct 14, 2015 03:02

Hooded Reptile: Aug 31, 2015

Lakeland Destroyers parent, Leo Davis, was arrested for punching the ref at a game in Kissimmee on Saturday.

Davis was charged with assault on a sports official and banned from all future events. But the board that oversees the league voted Thursday night to also suspend the entire Destroyers organization just two games before the playoffs.

http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/r...nt-punching-ref

Got to start them young.

# ? Oct 14, 2015 03:02

BasicFunk: Feb 26, 2011; How's your Funkentelechy?

Mel Mudkiper posted:

cut off your dick ham

qtiyd

Put a firecracker in your peehole!

# ? Oct 14, 2015 03:29

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

BasicFunk posted:

Put a firecracker in your peehole!

You ever microwave a hot dog and the end busts open?

It's like that

# ? Oct 14, 2015 16:33

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Sash! posted:

Actually, that's based in English common law and has ties to Roman law.

Did you know that it happened in America though. Or sorry is that not convoluted and obscure enough for you

# ? Oct 14, 2015 19:15

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

Sash! posted:

Actually, that's based in English common law and has ties to Roman law.

v2vian man posted:

Did you know that it happened in America though. Or sorry is that not convoluted and obscure enough for you

gently caress America.

# ? Oct 14, 2015 19:20

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

v2vian man posted:

Did you know that it happened in America though. Or sorry is that not convoluted and obscure enough for you

I missed you

# ? Oct 14, 2015 19:23

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

v2vian man posted:

Did you know that it happened in America though. Or sorry is that not convoluted and obscure enough for you

# ? Oct 14, 2015 19:38

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

v2vian man posted:

Did you know that it happened in America though. Or sorry is that not convoluted and obscure enough for you

I was saying its not like we invented it.

# ? Oct 15, 2015 00:05

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Sash! posted:

I was saying its not like we invented it.

Word?

# ? Oct 15, 2015 00:11

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Sash! posted:

I was saying its not like we invented it.

TIL

# ? Oct 15, 2015 01:16

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Sash! posted:

I was saying its not like we invented it.

WORKS FOR TIPS

# ? Oct 15, 2015 02:00

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

gently caress this planet, really.

# ? Oct 15, 2015 02:19

GenericMartini: Oct 22, 2012; AYYYYY PAPI

Apparently the guy was a co worker with my dad and a really good friend of his. Really sad loss. Apparently from a co worker who was with him they shot him as he was trying to stop the fight.

GenericMartini fucked around with this message at 08:12 on Oct 15, 2015

# ? Oct 15, 2015 08:10

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

the guy died btw

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/10/15/man-shot-during-fight-outside-cowboys-game-dies/

# ? Oct 15, 2015 11:21

Obligatory Handle: Feb 27, 2004; by Lowtax

God drat, your favorite team is not worth fighting, shooting or dying over. So dumb and senseless.

# ? Oct 15, 2015 11:35

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Obligatory Handle posted:

God drat, your favorite team is not worth fighting, shooting or dying over. So dumb and senseless.

So the Nika Riots were senseless? Whatever, bitch, keep hating on our ancestors, as if you know better. :rolleye:

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:01

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Obligatory Handle posted:

God drat, your favorite team is not worth fighting, shooting or dying over. So dumb and senseless.

what if I shoot myself instead of somebody else

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:03

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Ehud posted:

what if I shoot myself instead of somebody else

Why finish Philbin's work for him?

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:04

Obligatory Handle: Feb 27, 2004; by Lowtax

Ehud posted:

what if I shoot myself instead of somebody else

Depends on what team you root for.

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:14

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Obligatory Handle posted:

Depends on what team you root for.

Let's say.... cowboys?

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:20

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

imagine the last thing you ever saw was brandon Weedon trying to hump a doorknob while Brady is in the corner with a strap-on assaulting jerry jones' 73 year old butthole

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:28

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Ehud posted:

imagine the last thing you ever saw was brandon Weedon trying to hump a doorknob while Brady is in the corner with a strap-on assaulting jerry jones' 73 year old butthole

Why would he need a....you know what...never mind

# ? Oct 15, 2015 12:33