Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

You shut your whorish lying face.

*attracted by the high quality of this thread's discourse, a newb appears!*

Hello! I am Cathode Raymond, Evilest of Bettors and I have recently signed up for this here crazy thing in the registration thread.

Quick question: What type of exchange rate can I expect when I try to redeem my dorf bux for In Her Majesty's Name campaign dollars?

Cathode Raymond fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Jan 5, 2016

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 19:03

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 01:07

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Alright, I think I have a handle on it...

Bad Munki the player does not manage the gladiator named Bad Munki, nor is Bad Munki (the player) affiliated with Worse Monkey the team, on which there are four gladiators, none of whom are Bad Munki (the gladiator).

Also, there is a gladiator who might be described approximately as a "Bad Monkey" but is not named "Bad Munki" nor is he/she managed by Bad Munki.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 22:20

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I think we should all take a few minutes to observe that, at this point, my bets have been 100% correct, making me not only the evilest but at least tied for the most accurate bettor in tournament history.

Please commemorate this occasion with fan art. Thank you.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 17:06

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

It's beautiful!

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 21:10

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Just you wait till next tournament, I'm gonna manage a fighter and he'sgonnabethebestfighterintheworldohyesheis.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 21:59

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Is this a solid build for a fighter?

He's a sapient macadamia nut transplanted on to a troll's body. The rest is self explanatory.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2016 23:17

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Ramc posted:

What are the halberd and helmet made out of?

Iron definitely for the helmet, hopefully iron but probably copper for the halberd.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2016 23:48

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

AJ_Impy posted:

Bows are proving far more dangerous than whips

I consider this a political statement. Please keep your otherwise reliable killcount non-partisan and avoid editorializing. :colbert:

Whip gladiators are people too, and their managers have feelings you know.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2016 18:14

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I made a cool $4.22 off that last one.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 23:24

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Powerfrog posted:

Joining in on the betting a mere 2 fights ago with a measly sum of 1000 dorf bux, rookie Powerfrog already finds himself sitting in 6th position on the betting leaderboards.

When asked for comment, the young entrepreneur quipped: "Go big, or go home."

My rise has been similarly meteoric, but you don't see me bragging about it.

Instead, like most people, as I get richer I just gain more and more contempt for those less fortunate. It's a quiet and satisfying process.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 04:11

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Or maybe like do this but instead of doing this we do the thing that I am about to suggest, which is reset all the points but give the fighter to someone else, like maybe a newb who doesn't have a fighter yet I dunno I mean who even cares? Not me, that's for sure.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2016 04:01

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I just cracked the top 10 bet leaders. I'm going to start wearing a suit and slicking my hair back like the rich rear end in a top hat I was always destined to be.

Cathode Raymond fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Feb 4, 2016

# ¿ Feb 4, 2016 22:54

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Can you put me on the list to get a fighter if another manager drops out? I want to experience the soul-crushing lows that most people express after each fight result.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2016 21:02

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

GreyPowerVan posted:

No bolts. Jon told me what to do, he's the team captain now.

Dude makes a little money on a few lucky bets, suddenly thinks he's a visionary leader. Classic plutocrat.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 05:09

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Maybe compromise and give him exactly one bolt. That way he can fire it off and still run into melee range in time to die immediately.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2016 02:29

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Can I buy a fighter from somebody with my dorfbetbux?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2016 04:07

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

ZeeToo posted:

And that's it. I lost all my bets this round. Darn it.

Don't feel bad. We can't all be betting superstars, catapulting to the top 6 despite registering for the forums halfway through the tournament.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 20:38

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

ZeeToo posted:

And that's another thing! You ingrate kids these days; you have no idea how good you have it.

Back in my day, betting was by hand, and finding out what the gladiators used last round usually involved reading the combat logs to see if it was mentioned, and there was no easy, constantly up-to-date list of bets to reference! And it was uphill both ways! You never could've if it weren't for _{trailblazers and leading the way and letting _{stealing our systems and _{coming in with no burden of remembering what things were like two tournaments ago _{and etc}}}}

I find your crotchety ramblings implausible.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 21:16

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Bad Munki posted:

Those were dark days, when I had to manually enter every single bet and post updates with all the current bets and amounts and payouts and standings. You kids and your newfangled "web sites!"
code:
======================================================================
Chump                         Change
----------------------------------------------------------------------
AJ_Impy                            0
Bad Munki                          0 
Klokwurk                           0
Krysmphoenix                       0
ZeeToo                             0
======================================================================

Thank you for providing this historical document that confirms my suspicion that some of you have always been contemptible poors.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 21:47

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

We're gettin' there...

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 23:46

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

There we go.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 00:06

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

Antwoman singlehandedly loses a fight, then Bad Munki gets fan art.

This is the worst day of my life.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 02:14

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

alcharagia posted:

In the background I am screaming APELIMINATOR.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 03:32

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Ramc posted:

_{|----------------------------------------------------------'nuther fight please --------------------------------------------------------------|}

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 05:54

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Jazzimus Prime posted:

Sorry, I've fallen behind on updating the OP. The fanart post should be up to date, please let me know if anything's missing!

AJ provided the Iron Maiden font and should be listed among collaborators :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2016 17:47

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Tiler Kiwi posted:

I'm pretty sure the dude managing jameson stopped following this whole thing, if the whole afk user issue comes up again

Cathode Raymond posted:

Can you put me on the list to get a fighter if another manager drops out? I want to experience the soul-crushing lows that most people express after each fight result.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2016 02:12

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I need that time to get to the top of the betting.

If I'm not at the top of the betting 60 fights from now we need to extend the season.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2016 16:23

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

I don't know why people seem to like Plump Helmets. They've got a guy who sexually assaults people on their team. He steals clothes, breastplates and pants, when other people are wearing them and exposes their nude forms to the world. Frankly, I find it disgusting.

Every pro sports team has at least one horrific sexual predator.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2016 00:50

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Jazzimus Prime posted:

Iunnrais, John Charity Spring, alvie, and AnoHito, you each have 72 hours to either post in this thread or visit the site, or else your fighters in the current tournament will be placed up for adoption!

# ¿ Mar 5, 2016 06:20

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Jazzimus Prime posted:

The fighters Uma Thurman, Jameson the Unruly, Dontellim Pike, and Tyler Durden is Hobbes are now available for adoption! In order to adopt a fighter, you must not already have a fighter currently participating in the tournament.

First come, first served. Post in the thread and specify the name of the fighter you want to claim if you want to adopt!

I want Jameson the Unruly! I dig his whole vibe.

Cathode Raymond fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Mar 5, 2016

# ¿ Mar 5, 2016 16:57

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

Jimbo Akimbo is also up for grabs. First come first serve

I'm beginning to pick up subtle hints that Bad Munki might be something of a pariah.

But no matter. Soon I will be joining...

I know I was super capitalist a few posts ago but that was just because of the deep emptiness I felt from not having my own fighter. I take back everything mean I said. Except about Bad Munki.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 02:34

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

AJ_Impy posted:

Cathode, try 'рабочий кооператив'.

I tried this to see how this would look but I discovered that the faux-cyrillic font I used couldn't handle actual cyrillic characters.

(irony)

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 03:13

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

SRIRACHA swings his hammer (hammer?) and bruises Jamesons kidney in the same second. A second swing from the elf breaks Jamesons hand, and the human drops his sword.

Chaz and SRIRACHA catch up to Jameson and begin beating on him again. Jameson is floored with a broken foot from SRIRACHA.

SRIRACHA kicks Jameson in the eye, collapsing the socket, and then moves to fight the downed Albrik. Chaz chops off Jamesons hand, then his lungs. Chaz finally takes his head.

My management career has brought me nothing but sadness.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2016 18:25

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Tunicate posted:

Just put all the combatants into the arena simultaneously, whoever survives is the winner.

They would all just gang up on Jameson :mad:

I want everyone on Worse Munki to know that I consider your gladiators' conduct in that last fight unsportsmanlike and I hope they get their sponsorships revoked.

Also, congratulations Apeliminator for proving that you might not be completely terrible.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 04:01

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Tiler Kiwi posted:

uwaaa

Hey tiler, we're teammates now!

So are there Worker Cooperative T-shirts? Is there a health plan? What's our team stance on repeated traumatic brain injury?

# ¿ Mar 9, 2016 00:04

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

AJ_Impy posted:

This in turn means Worker Cooperative vs Go Big and/or Go Home is huge

Don't worry, I bought Jameson an extra level of "sword", so I'm sure we'll win handily :smug:

Seriously though where are all his points? Foster managers should get at least half of the missed participation points when they adopt an abandoned fighter!

Equal rights make even fights! Equal skills for equal kills! Bonus points for broken joints!

# ¿ Mar 21, 2016 23:11

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Pickled Tink posted:

Can you link that spreadsheet every time you talk about it? Not all of us bookmark the thing, and I have no desire to dig through 63 pages of thread to find it when I can instead be extra lazy and ask for it.

I don't know how you could lose track of the gladiators with 0 kills. They're all AJ ever talks about, and he never misses an opportunity to talk about how terrible they are.

I choose to be more generous and assume that the gladiators with 0 kills this far into the tournament are conscientious objectors doing their best not to hurt anyone despite being forced into this whole depraved enterprise.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 15:36

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Jameson underperformed again but that was a classy win overall.

Sincerest congratulation to Comrade Albrik on his heroic contribution to ~~making the playoffs~~ world communism.

Does Jameson's copper armor do anything at this point?

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 15:51

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

All of Jameson's copper garbage sells for peanuts. I was going to try and sell all his armor and get an iron helmet/breastplate or maybe just a steel helmet but it's just not in the cards. Also, his skills and armor coverage are definitely set for him to be a tank, but he has a two hander instead of a shield and going all-copper for armor was probably short-sighted, because soon (and even now) they will not be enough to stop the latest in iron and steel weapons fielded by our despicable capitalist enemies :ohdear:

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 17:38

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 01:07

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I just looked at the upcoming matches and I am very concerned.

We've got a good shot this round and a guaranteed win next round against Lightly Whipped, but no way we'll beat the Animists or the Helmets and most of the rest are a tossup.

How many teams go to the playoffs?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 01:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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