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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Pablo Gigante posted:

A wind has blown away George Lucas' newest script, "The Star Wars". Collect all the pages to unlock an exclusive set of pants.
Once you collect all 100, J.D. Salinger gives you an alternate costume, because you're no phony.

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elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
it's-a me, mario!

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Pablo Gigante posted:

Trophy: "The Day the Music Died"
Perform a triple air assassination.
Objective: Get in the Chevy.

New objective: Drive to the levy without being spotted!

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Pablo Gigante posted:

Trophy: "The Day the Music Died"
Perform a triple air assassination.

Lmfao

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Trophy: "The Day the Music Died"
Perform a triple air assassination.

holy poo poo

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!
This game was developed by a multicultural team of various religious faiths, beliefs and musical tastes.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Patti Smith: Welcome to Birdland... the single most advanced intelligence agency on the planet. This is the nerve center for the entire Templar operation, hidden underneath CBGB.

Assassin: drat.

Every member of the Clash (in unison): That's right. Incoming call from London... you've got your first job.

Assassin: Right on.

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pablo Gigante posted:

Trophy: "The Day the Music Died"
Perform a triple air assassination.

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

FactsAreUseless posted:

Patti Smith: Welcome to Birdland... the single most advanced intelligence agency on the planet. This is the nerve center for the entire Templar operation, hidden underneath CBGB.

Assassin: drat.

Every member of the Clash (in unison): That's right. Incoming call from London... you've got your first job.

Assassin: Right on.
David Byrne: You have to be more discrete when approaching a target! You can't just run out in the open like some kind of... Insane Murderer! *Looks knowingly at camera*

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Pablo Gigante posted:

David Byrne: You have to be more discrete when approaching a target! You can't just run out in the open like some kind of... Insane Murderer! *Looks knowingly at camera*
[Byrne's model freaks out due to a physics bug but nobody can tell]

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

http://assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Assassination_of_John_F._Kennedy

In Training
Jun 28, 2008


Oh my goodness.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

I've never played assassin's creed but I didn't realiE it was about time traveling psychopaths who were trying to get to the moon for a Golden Apple

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

In Training posted:

I've never played assassin's creed but I didn't realiE it was about time traveling psychopaths who were trying to get to the moon for a Golden Apple
I will admit to having played and enjoyed several of the games but they're pretty loving stupid

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

Actually I lied I play 20 minutes of the Vita assassins creed.

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

In Training posted:

I've never played assassin's creed but I didn't realiE it was about time traveling psychopaths who were trying to get to the moon for a Golden Apple

Every single historical event was a war between Templars and Assassin ever since the dawn of humankind.

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
Jesus H Christ with a Sword Cane killing Mary and Judas

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up

In Training posted:

I've never played assassin's creed but I didn't realiE it was about time traveling psychopaths who were trying to get to the moon for a Golden Apple

its not about time travel, all the games are actually virtual reality simulations built by the history knowledge saved in your genes, which an evil corporation makes you experiance to learn where people in the past left their stuff

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
i fuckin hate assassins creed but the plot stuff is really funny

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Black Baby Goku posted:

Jesus H Christ with a Sword Cane killing Mary and Judas
Jesus: Sell your cloak and buy a Swordcane.

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
Also: aliens

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

http://assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Templar_puppets

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Lmfao my phone autocorrected Swordcane to be capitalized

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
the end of 2 is a boss fight vs a pope

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

Imagine the various entwining conspiracies of Deus Ex except written by French-Canadians with terminal AIDS

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

elf help book posted:

i fuckin hate assassins creed but the plot stuff is really funny

Random wiki pages sound like some insane ramblings of a conspiracy nut which is completely up my alley but knowing that the games are barely games at all means I will never touch them.

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

Imagine the various entwining conspiracies of Deus Ex except written by French-Canadians with terminal AIDS

lol

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up

In Training posted:

Random wiki pages sound like some insane ramblings of a conspiracy nut which is completely up my alley but knowing that the games are barely games at all means I will never touch them.

most of the wiki stuff is like a text block you read in game anyway

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

http://assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/David_Jones

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

Imagine the various entwining conspiracies of Deus Ex except written by French-Canadians with terminal AIDS

haha

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pablo Gigante posted:

Lmfao my phone autocorrected Swordcane to be capitalized

Good phone. Good

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

Good games that deal with the Illuminati: Deus Ex, MGS, Secret World(?), Street Fighter Third Strike

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

Imagine the various entwining conspiracies of Deus Ex except written by French-Canadians with terminal AIDS

So, Deus Ex: Human Revolution :troll:

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Black Baby Goku posted:

Good phone. Good
Kaz: You assassinated Martin Luther King, Jr? That wasn't one of our targets...

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up

In Training posted:

So, Deus Ex: Human Revolution :troll:

oh my god.

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Black Baby Goku posted:

Jesus H Christ with a Sword Cane killing Mary and Judas

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pablo Gigante posted:

Kaz: You assassinated Martin Luther King, Jr? That wasn't one of our targets...

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
square eidos is wannabe ubisoft and they piss me off

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Pablo Gigante posted:

Kaz: You assassinated Martin Luther King, Jr? That wasn't one of our targets...

Lol

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In Training
Jun 28, 2008

elf help book posted:

square eidos is wannabe ubisoft and they piss me off

thankfully HR was actually really good and Mankind Divided looks like a better version of that, so it will be awesome

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