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social vegan



my after college date: Hey, do you kik?

me: uhh who doesn't haha jeez

date: Awesome what's your contact info?

me: foot on ball?

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social vegan



mom: I'm worried you're not trying hard enough

me: I'm fine, mom

mom: have you thought about using tinder?

me: oh my god, mom, I think I know how to cook pizza eggs, Jesus

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