Has anyone actually gotten beyond the bed/bath barrier?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Has anyone actually gotten beyond the bed/bath barrier?

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I don't think so. the store should be named: Bed Bath and Unknown, since I don't even think that humans can survive the transition.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:01

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# ? May 2, 2024 15:03

dogcrash truther

this is a real good thread title

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:02

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I have trouble even imaging such a world. I know the math is solid and I understand it theoretically, but in a practical world it makes no sense.

dogcrash truther posted:

this is a real good thread title

thank you

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:05

dogcrash truther

Frankly, I don't think "Beyond" even exists.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:14

dogcrash truther

It's just Bed and Bath, people. Open your eyes.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:14

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Bed Bath and Improbable

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:17

google THIS

my wife: honey, this is the bath section

me: (pushing cart purposefully) we're not stopping here. not this time.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:20

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

When I was a kid they said there were only four bed dimensions, but now we know there are five: single, double, queen, king and california king. we also know that the sixth dimension is bath, but beyond? I can't even imagine it

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:20

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

google THIS posted:

my wife: honey, this is the bath section

me: (pushing cart purposefully) we're not stopping here. not this time.

seconds later there is a loud bang and the all the towels fall from the shelves. the men hang their heads and all the women start sobbing. another brave soul had bought the farm.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:22

Piso Mojado

if there's no beyond, then what made bed and bath?

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:25

google THIS

as you approach beyond, bed contracts and bath dilates. it's a lot like being a teenager

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:26

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Piso Mojado posted:

if there's no beyond, then what made bed and bath?

in the beginning there was bed, then bed made a place for the waters and named it bath. then bed rested because that's what beds are good at

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:26

google THIS

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

in the beginning there was bed, then bed made a place for the waters and named it bath. then bed rested because that's what beds are good at

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:28

Piso Mojado

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

in the beginning there was bed, then bed made a place for the waters and named it bath. then bed rested because that's what beds are good at

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:29

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

It's towels all the way down

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:31

Bwee

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

in the beginning there was bed, then bed made a place for the waters and named it bath. then bed rested because that's what beds are good at

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:31

Piso Mojado

And The Beyond said, "Let all bedding under the sky be gathered to one place, and let their threadcounts be numerous." And it was so.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:36

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

scientists at Cern are colliding beds and baths to try and find the illusive 'waterbed'

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:38

Theglavwen: Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Lookit these rubes, still operating under bed and bath conceptions.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:51

FreshCutFries

dogcrash truther posted:

this is a real good thread title

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:56

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

I am certain, certain the conspiracy concerning bath salts has every last thing to do with the linens section at B3

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:00

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Splatmaster posted:

I am certain, certain the conspiracy concerning bath salts has every last thing to do with the linens section at B3

Brain-eating zombie bastards

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:01

Bwee

Thingyman posted:

it's up there with ingmar krump

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:01

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

the fact that everything is not covered in water suggests that the bath is curved

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:07

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

scientists at Cern are colliding beds and baths to try and find the illusive 'waterbed'

All waterbeds generated so far have been highly unstable, and decayed into water balloons in a matter of seconds

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:11

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

(Scientist squints at waterbed) This might be a waterbed, but then it might not. I just don't know.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:12

Weekend Bridges: by Smythe

Standing in the threshold of the door leading from the master bed and the master bath, in both but somehow in neither, I hold my head in agony and I let loose a primal howl. I've made it Beyond.

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# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:20

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

the hide-a-bed uncertainty principle

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:23

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

the hide-a-bed uncertainty principle

When you hide a bed you change a bed?

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:27

Weekend Bridges: by Smythe

The Beyond part is Kitchen, but the founder of the company had a lot of Horny Goat Weed when he decided to pitch a name to the investors, and couldn't think of a synonym for Kitchen that started with a B.

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# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:33

Piso Mojado

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

the hide-a-bed uncertainty principle

Schrödinbath's mat.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 03:10

google THIS

man discovers sleep, invents bed

woman discovers man, invents bath

# ? Oct 18, 2015 03:16

alnilam

google THIS posted:

man discovers sleep, invents bed

woman discovers man, invents bath

the good clean funnies list

# ? Oct 18, 2015 04:51

Scaly Haylie

adam sandler did.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:02

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Dante Alighieri's Bed Bath and Below

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:06

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

After finding our hero Dante hiding under the bed, Virgil flushes them both down the plug-hole and into the realm that lies below

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:08

bacalou

the invention of the bath pillow was the first step to realizing there was something beyond our limited understanding. the ancient aztecs were the first to suspect, but it would be several hundred years before scientists could finally translate tenochtitlan into it's commonly used form of today: bed, bath, and beyond.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 06:01

cat_herder: BE GAY
DO CRIME

I almost made it beyond once.

My husband found me surrounded by tiny kitchen gadgets gibbering helplessly and had to drag me out of the store.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 06:01

bacalou

a wizened spirit medium lets tiny bath beads fall between his open fingers, casting a pattern onto the floor. his apprentice prepares the linens for inspection: 3000 threadcount. no wrong moves here.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 06:02

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# ? May 2, 2024 15:03

bacalou

mary-ann begins the ritual with a sip from her Cusinart 'Un-Tip-Over-Able' Gravel Travel mug. she casts loose incense around her in a perfect circle, demarcating each of the meridian points with a unique spoon from the store's coffers. there are over fifty different styles of spoon alone at this BB&B, "enough selection for anybody" mary-ann mutters to no-one as her hands pass over the ceremonial coupon book. tonight is the night, she can feel it in her George Foreman Sit&Spit Double Action Rotisserie and Seat Warmer. brad was wrong, there is something more to this store, more than just toiletries and bedding. tonight she will reach through the wicker-wrapped looking glass (50% off this week only!) and finally discover what lies B E Y O N D

# ? Oct 18, 2015 06:11

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Has anyone actually gotten beyond the bed/bath barrier?

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