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Qwijib0
Apr 10, 2007

Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?

Fun Shoe

Ross Angeles posted:

Agree, cause I want an excuse to go to Phoenix once a year

You definitely need an excuse to go to Phoenix.

Phoenicians, however need no excuse to overrun San Diego.

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Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Sub Par posted:

Texans
2014 1 Jadeveon Clowney DE - Jury is still out

Bad news...

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Ross Angeles posted:

Agree, cause I want an excuse to go to Phoenix once a year

I am obliged to post this every time someone suggests going to Phoenix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PYt0SDnrBE

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

I am obliged to post this every time someone suggests going to Phoenix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PYt0SDnrBE

I grew up in Palm Springs so it's not that different

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
Phoenix is great for like the month of the year when the heat has died down and all the drat snowbirds haven't gotten here yet. :argh:

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer
Well since we're playing this game:

Your Tampa Bay Buccaneers!

2000 No pick
2001 14 Kenyatta Walker Offensive tackle Florida He sucked
2002 No pick
2003 No pick
2004 15 Michael Clayton Wide receiver LSU He was okay for like his first year, then he sucked
2005 5 Carnell Williams Running Back Auburn He was okay for like his first couple years, then blew both knees out
2006 23 Davin Joseph Guard Oklahoma Wasn't terrible but not on a team anymore
2007 4 Gaines Adams Defensive End Clemson Wasn't awful, traded to the Bears for a #2 then his heart exploded, killing him.
2008 20 Aqib Talib Cornerback Kansas Great corner when he wants to be, best buds with Raheem Morris and now with the Broncos
2009 17 Josh Freeman Quarterback Kansas State This is one I was really disappointed about. Schiano broke him. Now plays for the Brooklyn Bolts (???)
2010 3 Gerald McCoy Defensive Tackle Oklahoma Amazing DT. Still on the team
2011 20 Adrian Clayborn Defensive End Iowa Incredibly mediocre, I think he's with Atlanta now.
2012 7 Mark Barron Safety Alabama Who?
31 Doug Martin Running Back Boise State Muscle HamsterDouggernaught
2013 No pick
2014 7 Mike Evans Wide Receiver Texas A&M :love::love::love:
2015 1 Jameis Winston * Quarterback Florida State Never heard of the guy

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

Joey Freshwater posted:

2012 7 Mark Barron Safety Alabama Who?
31 Doug Martin Running Back Boise State Muscle HamsterDouggernaughtSwole Mole


ftfy

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Might as well do the Chiefs.

2000 pick 21: WR Sylvester Morris - Had a trick knee. The trick was an ACL would blow every time he was close to being healthy.
2001: N/A
2002 pick 6: DT Ryan Sims - Terrible. Played next to Julius Peppers which made him look good in college.
2003 pick 27: RB Larry Johnson - Productive on the field until Herm killed him. Spit on/beat up a lot of women.
2004: N/A
2005 pick 15: ILB Derrick Johnson - Very good, will probably end up the franchise tackle leader.
2006 pick 20: DE/OLB Tamba Hali - Also very good
2007 pick 23: WR Dwayne Bowe - Plenty good until he died after getting a big contract. Probably the second best Chiefs WR ever.
2008 pick 5: DT Glenn Dorsey - Hugely disappointing but was at least somewhat useful.
2008 pick 15: OT Branden Albert - Good to very good, wish he was still here
2009 pick 3: DT Tyson Jackson - See Glenn Dorsey but worse somehow
2010 pick 5: S Eric Berry - Damned pleased with this pick.
2011 pick 26: WR Jonathan Baldwin - Managed to be the worst part of a trade involving AJ Jenkins
2012 pick 11: DT Dontari Poe - Love him, the Chiefs finally hit on a big guy
2013 pick 1: LT Eric Fisher - Well he's still playing at least? Very disappointing up to now, still some hope for him
2014 pick 23: OLB Dee Ford - Bad so far
2015 pick 18: CB Marcus Peters - Early returns are pretty good.

That's not as bad as I was expecting, call it 8/15 being worth the pick. Although hitting on one single pick out of five when you draft in the top 10 is frustrating as hell.

ozymandius1024
Mar 15, 2006

You don't yank on the Spine of God

Joey Freshwater posted:

2012 7 Mark Barron Safety Alabama Who?

The guy they selected instead of Luke Kuechly :)



I remember being so loving happy when they did that, because I was terrified they were going to take Kuechly.

nerve
Jan 2, 2011

SKA SUCKS

ozymandius1024 posted:

The guy they selected instead of Luke Kuechly :)



I remember being so loving happy when they did that, because I was terrified they were going to take Kuechly.

They managed to get David the next round so I think of all the problems with their team, having Lavonte instead of Luke is pretty low on the list

ozymandius1024
Mar 15, 2006

You don't yank on the Spine of God

nerve posted:

They managed to get David the next round so I think of all the problems with their team, having Lavonte instead of Luke is pretty low on the list

Having both of them on the same defense wouldn't be a bad thing.

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious
Fine, the 2000-2015 St. Louis Rams First Round Draft Picks

2000 - Trung Candidate - RB - was awful, still had Marshall Faulk
2001 - Ryan Pickett (DT), Adam Archuleta (S) and Damione Lewis (DT) - Adam Archuleta was okay I guess and the other two were never any good for the Rams
2002 - Robert Thomas - LB - awful
2003 - Jimmy Kennedy - DT - Never any good for the Rams
2004 - Steven Jackson - RB - Owns a lot
2005 - Alex Barron - OT - The walking false start
2006 - Tye Hill - CB - Was really fast and really bad at covering people
2007 - Adam Carriker - DT - Tried to turn him from a DE to a DT, wasn't very good and got injured a lot
2008 - Chris Long - DE - Pretty good, has been injured the past two years
2009 - Jason Smith - OT - Horrible
2010 - Sam Bradford - QB - Promising rookie year, otherwise meh + two ACL tears
2011 - Robert Quinn - DE - Owns a lot
2012 - Michael Brockers - DT - Pretty good DT, surprisingly good pass rushing ability
2013 - Tavon Austin (WR) and Alec Ogletree (OLB) - Tavon is finally being used right and looks much better, plus he's a great punt returner. Alec Ogletree is a great playmaking LB.
2014 - Greg Robinson (OT) and Aaron Donald (DT) - Greg Robinson is pretty bad. Aaron Donald is the best DT in the NFL.
2015 - Todd Gurley - RB - Has started 3 games and gotten over 125 yards in all of them. OWNZZZZZ

the mean lunch lady fucked around with this message at 21:48 on Oct 28, 2015

nerve
Jan 2, 2011

SKA SUCKS

ozymandius1024 posted:

Having both of them on the same defense wouldn't be a bad thing.

I doubt they take David in the second in that scenario

ozymandius1024
Mar 15, 2006

You don't yank on the Spine of God

nerve posted:

I doubt they take David in the second in that scenario

They'd taken Adrian Clayborn and Da'Quan Bowers in consecutive rounds the year before, so I don't think it would've been too far of a stretch.

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Is it fair to characterize a pick as busted when it's for injury reasons?

Darkpriest667
Feb 2, 2015

I'm sorry I impugned
your cocksmanship.

Chilichimp posted:

Bad news...



Yeah not sure why I got hammered for saying he was a bust. The guy was injured before he even got into the league. It's pretty obvious he is injury prone. And no, when I am desperate for a quarterback I don't draft a loving Defensive End when I have one of the best in the NFL already.

Brannock posted:

Is it fair to characterize a pick as busted when it's for injury reasons?


Yes it is. Part of being good in the NFL is being healthy. That's why our boy Brett (Packers fan here full disclosure) was considered one of the greatest. The guy didn't go down (yes pain meds may have played a part) When you have a quarterback that stays healthy or at least upright it certainly helps. If Brady had gotten pounded as hard as some of the QBs for the Texans have he wouldn't be in the league anymore much less be considered the GOAT (Jury is still out on whether Cheatin Brady is the GOAT)

Darkpriest667 fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Oct 28, 2015

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Brannock posted:

Is it fair to characterize a pick as busted when it's for injury reasons?

Yes :bustem:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Brannock posted:

Is it fair to characterize a pick as busted when it's for injury reasons?

Can't be elite if you're not playing.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

i tell ya man, Ki-Jana Carter would have been the next Emmitt Smith if his knees didn't hate him

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Cowboys. Jerry always swung for the fences and whiffed a lot. I'm pretty sure Stephen Jones has been running the drafts since 2010.

2000 No Pick
2001 No Pick
2002 Roy Williams Everyone's favorite headhunt or whiff safety
2003 Terence Newman The most feared person on dallas' defense or so they always said on tv almost like a joke as he gives up another deep reception.
2004 No Pick Cowboys traded down and got bills 2005 first rounder
2005 :
DeMarcus Ware
Marcus Spears
2006 Bobby Carpenter Unremarkable but was on the team a while.
2007 Anthony Spencer
2008:
Felix Jones
Mike Jenkins
2009 No Pick :lol: Roy Williams trade with Detroit


2010 Dez Bryant
2011 Tyron Smith
2012 Morris Claiborne
2013 Travis Frederick
2014 Zack Martin

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Mr. Nice! posted:

Cowboys. Jerry always swung for the fences and whiffed a lot. I'm pretty sure Stephen Jones has been running the drafts since 2010.

2000 No Pick
2001 No Pick
2002 Roy Williams Everyone's favorite headhunt or whiff safety
2003 Terence Newman The most feared person on dallas' defense or so they always said on tv almost like a joke as he gives up another deep reception.
2004 No Pick Cowboys traded down and got bills 2005 first rounder
2005 :
DeMarcus Ware
Marcus Spears
2006 Bobby Carpenter Unremarkable but was on the team a while.
2007 Anthony Spencer
2008:
Felix Jones
Mike Jenkins
2009 No Pick :lol: Roy Williams trade with Detroit


2010 Dez Bryant
2011 Tyron Smith
2012 Morris Claiborne
2013 Travis Frederick
2014 Zack Martin

Yeah 2010+ was a pretty clear break point in Dallas personnel decisions in general.

Too bad Garrett is such a :effort: head coach.

cheesetriangles
Jan 5, 2011





Is the pick a bust if the team ruined them for refusing to have a proper field.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Going over drafts and my god the 2012 draft could turn into a fantastic draft for us, if they continue their current success

Omne
Jul 12, 2003

Orangedude Forever

Because I hate myself.....

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cleveland Browns 1st Round Draft Picks!!!

1999 - Tim Couch, QB (Kentucky) - Bust; best known for crying on live TV after getting a concussion in a game
2000 - Courtney Brown, DE (Penn State) - 19 sacks in 61 games, zero all-pro selections, zero pro-bowl selections
2001 - Gerard "Big Money" Warren, DT (Florida) - 9 year starter, 36.5 sacks, 0/0 all-pro/pro-bowl
2002 - William Green, RB (Boston College) - Yikes. Four years, 9 total TDs. 0/0 AP/PB
2003 - Jeff Faine, C (Notre Dame) - 9 year starter, 0/0 AP/PB
2004 - Kellen "Soldier" Winslow Jr, TE (Miami) - Broke his leg early in his first season recovering an on-side kick; destroyed what was left of his legs that off-season crashing his motorcycle in the parking lot. Still not a soldier, 0/1 AP/PB
2005 - Braylon Edwards, WR (Michigan) - Once caught 16 TDs in a season, then cried because he thought fans hated him since he went to Michigan. 0/1 AP/PB
2006 - Kamerion Wimbley, DE (FSU) - 52.5 sacks in 8 years as a starter, 0/0 AP/PB
2007 - Joe Thomas, T (WIsconsin) - Dude's a Hall of Famer. Skipped the NFL Draft to go fishing with his dad. Has never missed an offensive snap, 5/8 AP/PB
- Brady Quinn, QB (Notre Dame) - hahahahahahahahahahaha
2008 - N/A (we didn't have a draft pick until the FOURTH ROUND!)
2009 - Alex Mack, C (Cal) - Dude is awesome, until he broke his leg last year. 0/2 AP/PB
2010 - Joe Haden, DB (Florida) - Another big pick. 16 INTs in five years as a starter, or when he's not suspended for drugs. 0/2 AP/PB
2011 - Phil Taylor, DT (Baylor) - Massive run-stuffing tackle.....that couldn't stay healthy. Gone already, 0/0
2012 - Trent Richardson, RB (Alabama) - Massive bust! Traded in 2014 to Indy for a first round draft pick in a MASSIVE fleecing, 0/0
- Brandon Wheedon, QB (Oklahoma State) - Sure, drafting a 28 year old rookie QB is a great idea. Gone by 2015 0/0
2013 - Barkevious Mingo, LB (LSU) - Dude could be good, but he's always played out of position. 7 sacks and 1 INT so far, 0/0
2014 - Justin Gilbert, DB (Oklahoma State) - Trainwreck so far, can't get on the field because he sucks so bad. 0/0
- Johnny "loving Football" Manziel, QB (Texas A&M) - Better at partying his rear end off than professional quarterbacking. More weeks in rehab than TDs. 0/0
2015 - Danny Shelton, NT (Washington) - So far so good; and by that I mean we are the worst rushing defense team in the NFL again
- Cameron Irving, C (FSU) - Picked as depth in case Alex Mack gets hurt again, also plays other offensive line positions

For those keeping track....that's a total of 5 All-Pro and 14 Pro-Bowl years, 5/8 of which are Joe Thomas. 4 QBs taken in the first round, two of which are out of football and the other two are backups.

TSBX
Apr 24, 2010

Christ Pseudoscientist posted:

2000 17 Sebastian Janikowski K Florida State

I had a friend in high school who said his brother went to FSU the year before Janikowski left, and told me a tale of opening the door to a limo to find old Sebastian Buffalo Billing some girls butthole and then said in his thick accent "Close the door can't you see I'm loving this girls rear end?" I don't know if it's true or not, but I'd like to believe that it is.

TSBX
Apr 24, 2010

Dubious posted:

Vikings last 15 years. It's easy to forget some of these guys.

I know it's from before the cutoff, but holy poo poo, this guy...

FINGERBLASTER69
Nov 15, 2014

Darkpriest667 posted:

Yeah not sure why I got hammered for saying he was a bust. The guy was injured before he even got into the league. It's pretty obvious he is injury prone. And no, when I am desperate for a quarterback I don't draft a loving Defensive End when I have one of the best in the NFL already.

He was healthy and one of the best players in college football for 3 years. Thats a no brainer #1 pick. Houstons lovely turf hosed up his career. Which QB from the 2014 draft was a better pick?

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

FINGERBLASTER69 posted:

He was healthy and one of the best players in college football for 3 years. Thats a no brainer #1 pick. Houstons lovely turf hosed up his career. Which QB from the 2014 draft was a better pick?

Bort seems like the real deal.

Darkpriest667
Feb 2, 2015

I'm sorry I impugned
your cocksmanship.

FINGERBLASTER69 posted:

He was healthy and one of the best players in college football for 3 years. Thats a no brainer #1 pick. Houstons lovely turf hosed up his career. Which QB from the 2014 draft was a better pick?

Bridgewater isn't total rear end. Bortles isn't terrible. Certainly better than all the ones the Texans have had since.

I hate giving Dallas any sort of credit because I loving loathe the cowboys but drafting linemen for a few years is usually not a bad long term strategy. It's served them pretty well.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

TSBX posted:

I had a friend in high school who said his brother went to FSU the year before Janikowski left, and told me a tale of opening the door to a limo to find old Sebastian Buffalo Billing some girls butthole

He was missing it wide right?

FINGERBLASTER69
Nov 15, 2014

Darkpriest667 posted:

Bridgewater isn't total rear end. Bortles isn't terrible. Certainly better than all the ones the Texans have had since.

I hate giving Dallas any sort of credit because I loving loathe the cowboys but drafting linemen for a few years is usually not a bad long term strategy. It's served them pretty well.

Bridgewater has 5 TD's and 4 INT's, Bortles is a project. Neither are as good as Clowney, even now.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Darkpriest667 posted:

Bridgewater isn't total rear end. Bortles isn't terrible. Certainly better than all the ones the Texans have had since.

I hate giving Dallas any sort of credit because I loving loathe the cowboys but drafting linemen for a few years is usually not a bad long term strategy. It's served them pretty well.

Well, they lucked into Romo, so...

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer
Alright I'll ask, what is "Buffalo Billing"

No way am I googling that at work

corsair
Jan 10, 2001

Joey Freshwater posted:

Alright I'll ask, what is "Buffalo Billing"

No way am I googling that at work

It's like when you score a TD on a 30 yard play action pass and the play is called back for holding aka a very Billsey play

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



It's when you drink 17 beers then give yourself a concussion and bone fracture.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Its when you do it while blasting this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ.

SlipUp
Sep 30, 2006


stayin c o o l

Joey Freshwater posted:

Alright I'll ask, what is "Buffalo Billing"

No way am I googling that at work

Basically this but on the field:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oncLr626aE

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

Joey Freshwater posted:

Alright I'll ask, what is "Buffalo Billing"

No way am I googling that at work

WHOOPS
Nov 6, 2009

FINGERBLASTER69 posted:

Bridgewater has 5 TD's and 4 INT's, Bortles is a project. Neither are as good as Clowney, even now.

Weird, Clowney only has 1 sack, that doesn't seem very good :confused:

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got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
It puts the ball through the uprights or else it gets the bench again.

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