Jobbo_Fett posted:

So I did a test. I knew literally nothing about Wing Commander (the games) and decided I would watch an entire playthrough of 3 and compare it with the blurb of "The Old Man".

Is CR so creatively bankrupt that he literally took Col. Blair or whatever his name is, aged him 20 years and gave him a lovely nickname?

Not only is the blurb so generic that my view started to fade and I forgot most colours but they couldn't even come up with a different character in any way, shape, or form?

Might as well call it Bland Citizen - It's something alright! *Fart*

Rodney-CK posted:

This was shown around Chairgate, and didn't get enough love.

All of science fiction. Anything could be possible.

And this is their design. A Farm Bureau agent, who even in the T pose, looks tired and withered looking, from a bygone era even in today's world. The only ounce of sci-fi is some sort of pilot wings that look photoshopped onto his 1940's era bomber jacket.

I can guess the hat says SERENITY because it's the original 'verse totally created by Roberts and nothing is stolen. You can't even find 42 things ripped off from any other franchise because it's totally new and unique.

The model looks pretty great though. Kudos to the modellers. I can only imagine how they must have felt as they were making a John Rhyes farmer for their ultra future space game.

Ash1138 posted:

Oh so he really was an idiot lurking for years who finally lost his nerve because he felt grief for Sandi and not a one-time troll?

Jason Sextro posted:

holy poo poo, he's the guy who wrote the Stimpire fanfiction!

Skellybones posted:

Welcome to the 'verse Milky

Skellybones posted:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

Jason Sextro posted:

No, someone was just in here a few pages back saying they knew Fuzzy Modem from a while ago in a different forum bragging about personal genital mutilation, which sounds like some Stimpire-level poo poo to me.

peter gabriel posted:

I think it was accidental mutilation.
Which will be the name of my punk band if I ever start one ~~DO NOT STEAL~~

Beet Wagon posted:

I... I'm not sure I want to ask, but how the hell do you cut your dick open during sex? Is his wife a blender?

A Neurotic Jew posted:

look at gorf's summary on tihs page friend

SomethingJones posted:

The Sandi Transcripts pt II
From ‘Sunny’s Diner’
Episode 3k13: Sandi Gardiner



Sandi:
I kind of had a bit of a hiatus as a teenager from computers, uhm… and uh… in COLLEGE I obsessively played DOOM, with another girlfriend of mine who uhm… she was doing a PHYSICS MAJOR, and we just used to go crazy over that, I mean it just, it just takes up so much of your life

Sunny:
Now you’ve brought this up a number of different times, in a number of different places, it seems like that’s your go to answer when somebody asks about videogames, you talk about DOOM, so, what kind of obsession are we talking about here?

Sandi:
Ahm… *tch*… you know, like… I would say like 6PM til probably 5AM, five days a week

Sunny:
Wow

…

Sunny:
Now did you do your college in Australia, before moving over to the United States?

Sandi:
I did, yeah, I got a, uhm, what’s called a FIRST CLASS HONOURS, it’s kinda like a MASTERS, were you write a THESIS and uhm, it’s classed just like a 1A, a 1B… so basically I got a 1A which is the highest one you can get, and, uhm, I got offered… uhm… SCHOLARSHIPS around the world for a PHD

Sunny:
Wow. And what was it in?

Sandi:
It was in MARINE BIOLOGY

Sunny:
In marine biology?

Sandi:
Correct.

…

Sunny:
You got a masters in marine biology, and at some point you ended up at UCLA, how did that happen?

Kakarot posted:

Trapezium Dave posted:

The red lady looks vaguely Mass Effect, a recoloured Miranda maybe? Although there's a lot of space stuff that looks like that.

Cao Ni Ma posted:

LOL square enix just shat all over Chris without knowing it. I'm sure he's looking at the entire event saying "That could have been start citizen" while looking at the pile of poo poo he's been working on for 5 years now.

Tokamak posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/4ctbdt/sq42_script/
http://pastebin.com/G8fNs8dT

Apparently some of the Squadron 42 script got left in the new build, and the shitizens are getting frothy.


Oscar quality script


codename: Wheezy

Just skimming over bits and its full of 'witty' sarcastic quips from your crew mates. Demonstrating once again that croberts is not a hack.

SomethingJones posted:

I swear to god someone pick a scene, everyone pick a character, and then everybody just voice act the poo poo out of it.

Skellybones posted:

Milky promise you will do an in depth review of Squadron 42.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Solomonic posted:

Good news, Chris Roberts already gave us a summary almost exactly a year ago

SQUADRON 42 SCRIPT posted:

[Captain Maclaren]: "Good, good. Hold that. Shifting power back to shields."

[Admiral Bishop]: "Gauntlet, I ordered you to fall back."

[Captain Maclaren]: "Can't do that, Admiral. You're dead in the water and we can help."

[Admiral Bishop]: "Situation's under control. You are to reverse-"

[Captain Maclaren]: "You won't kill it, sir. Not before it takes you out. You've got five hundred on your ship, mine's boarded and burning. This is the only way."

[Admiral Bishop]: "You lock your course and get off that thing. Both of you, clear?"

[Captain Maclaren]: "Aye, aye."

[Admiral Bishop]: "Rachel..."

[Captain Maclaren]: "I will."

WAR IN HEAVEN SCRIPT posted:

UEF NELSON: "Artemis Station, continue your evacuation. We'll buy you as much time as we can."

ARTEMIS STATION: "Acknowledged, Nelson. Civilian and personnel evac is fifty percent complete. If you can gain us another twenty minutes or so, we'll be in the clear."

UEF NELSON: "We'll do our best. Godspeed, Artemis Station."

UEF CORMORANT: "This is the Cormorant! The bridge is hit, Captain Sanai is bleeding out, we've got fires all over the ship!"

GAMMA 3: "The Cormorant's gone! We cannot hold, Artemis! Captain Mence, if we can't kill that ship, we don't have a prayer!"

UEF NELSON: "Nelson to all ships! Hold the line! Reinforcements are on their way. All fighters, spearhead our assault against the Tev cruisers - punch a hole for us to the Atreus. Helm, increase to ramming speed as soon as the way is clear. Forward batteries, prepare to fire. May the universe judge all of us kindly in the next life."

quote:

UEF KATANA: "Negative, Indus, she's too close and she's already launched fighters. Someone will have to screen the retreat, or none of us are going home. Gunnery, lock up the Imperieuse. Altan Orde, form up alongside and pass your firing solutions. Insuperable, Kyoto, torpedo her beam weapons. All hands, brace for - for hull breach."

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Heart-stirring stuff.

Daztek posted:

Your post reminded me of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhAR8rWPluQ

Wonder if Sq42 can even top this short trailer

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I like this org logo.

Seriously there are so many org logos. People are putting more effort into making jpgs for their guilds than CIG is putting into making ships for their game.

AP posted:

Can't believe that script was leaked on April 1st and the idiots think it's real, good work.

Thirsty Dog posted:

A fake script with large numbers of ingame triggers, no less.

EightAce posted:

Good morning

The professor shares many quirks with Mr Roberts , not least of all the total inability to deliver on a milestone, in Derek's case that of Armageddon, However .......

He is right in everything he says
He has always been right.

I guess he is currently out of sorts because of what he knows and because he can do nothing with it at all. This must be totally frustrating for him. He has all the right notes , but slightly in the wrong order. Everything he has hinted at, indeed , outright stated, from his first blog and his social media feed. In amongst all the self righteous bluster , there lie the facts of what is happening, happening right now.
This is now beyond simple comedy, the powers involved are such that he cannot say anything specific without getting himself right in the poo poo. Also the E.L.E to which he refers is a multi faceted thing. Although the phrase E.LE is rather strong we are not talking national security here.

For the record Derek has always had the interest of the backers and the dev staff at heart I truly believe that. There was probably some free publicity for LOD and various other selfish motivations but I truly think that is where his crusade started. Its beyond all that now though, this whole thing is simply an industry wide joke , the punchline will not be so amusing . There are no more dates I can give you and I will not give you any more info other than to point out, weeks ago when I said just how bad this interactive movie is has to be seen to be believed . Well now you have seen a very old iteration of the script ....I need say no more.

There is no reason for this to end up on TCE as it doesn't shed light on anything or provide any new info other than an attempt to explain the professors chagrin. Be nice to the old boy, I have commissioned a birthday card for him from a talented young artist that has been brought to my attention called Ryan Archer. He's cheap as chips as well ........something about being between jobs?

SomethingJones posted:

Seriously, gently caress all these people.

Brumaldo posted:

Ok. I will share the sorrowful tale of my grudge against star citizen.

Some of my friends spent dumb amounts of money during the kickstarter/early days of funding. Then the game became an MMO overnight and they got even more hype, for some reason.
I told them this new 'vision' had a snowball's chance in hell of ever being realized, and they laughed.

A few weeks ago I was told that the PU had made amazing progress, and that it was my last chance to buy a cheapo package before it was gone forever.
Not even pgabz videos could dissuade them.

Now I wait for the day of reckoning.

A Neurotic Jew posted:

post them!

SquirrelGrip posted:

Go outside everybody