Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Lastgirl posted:

no loving way, get that poo poo outta my face eonwe

that cannot be real

i could buy a car with that and itd be real

Even if SC got finished they'd still be hosed. Some of them would dislike the game and only play a few hours, others would be bored by the lack of progression because they paid for all the ships, or they'd realise they could grind for a few hours and buy them without using money. If the game is released or not there's going to be a poo poo storm. The lack of cash left in the bank will happen first it's just a matter of how many weeks.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 05:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 6, 2024 22:02

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

They said I'd get a refund via paypal and I was refunded directly to my credit card on the 21st. My account is closed by these fuckers keep sending me emails.

e: random cat from imgur so it gets deleted.

http://imgur.com/r/cats/Rq8X0aX

http://imgur.com/r/starcitizen/Sz4YHw7

Devian666 fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Oct 28, 2015

# ¿ Oct 27, 2015 23:59

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Fooma posted:

Guys, please stop. if you keep encouraging refunds and questioning CIG, they won't have funds to make the game. Things would have been perfectly fine if you all had just stayed quiet, but now with bad publicity and less funds things are going to be even more delayed and they have to resort to more creative ways to get funding. This could have been successful! Everyone's free to spend their money how they want so just enjoy the dream that costs you nothing. you stirred up the crazies, that exist in every community, which have spoiled it for the silent majority. If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 00:05

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

AP posted:

:realisticphysics:

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 00:08

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

spacetoaster posted:

Eh, not sure I agree with calling someone who's over 18 a kid.

And I'm definitely not cool with unnecessarily treating people like children because of a disability.

I think we'd be better served convincing this guy to study hard and do some real stuff with his life rather than slapfighting with fools on the internet about video games.

He should probably throw away his :gary:

fleshlight as well and concentrate on improving his life.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 04:10

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Eonwe posted:

Someone let me know when we turn the funny back on

I'm not expecting anything major until after 1 November. Then there will be some major dick or wulge waving.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 04:16

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Amethyst posted:

No one quoted this dumb unfunny poo poo you probably spent an hour on. roffle

You actually read all of that. You are dumb and unfunny.

The imgur thread in the subreddit has provided some entertainment but one guy got upset with me comparing SC to Farming Simulator :wtchris:

I thought they'd be happy having SC compared to a functioning game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEJHrmliVQw

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 06:10

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Some guy playing around implemented inertia to the flight model. Seriously they have done no loving work on this game at all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy0bmJVnxhs

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 06:32

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Lord_NeckBeard posted:

It would suck if the first person to commit suicide in all this drama was some cultist Derek sued instead of a cultist distraught over CIG's implodes

It would be a shame because we can't mock their idiocy if they stop posting (via suicide). :gary:

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 06:47

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Karl_Ramseier posted:

Yeah, you totally don't care. And no, I won't end behind bars. Sorry Derek but

How are you're multiple lawsuits going right now? And what about the FTC?
No one sued and no one will sue. At least not you.

This isn't the star wars thread. :gary:

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 19:40

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Ghostlight posted:

Darmok, that's him in the wheelchair.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 21:46

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

xiansi posted:

Yep, that's exactly what S3 does.

The usual malware-peddlers will be all over this 'stargur' thing like flies on poo poo if it's half as badly put together as, let's face it, it will be.

Just sit back, wait for the inevitable Reddit meltdown, and blaming of "Smart's goon army" for...doing gently caress all but watching & laughing!

This is the great thing we don't have to do anything as the entire SC trainwreck will destroy itself without any outside interference. The only person who bothered writing a script was a retarded redditor not realising his script could be exploited simply by posting links in this thread.

The badly configured S3 instance will probably lead to a hilarious invoice for bandwidth through normal use. I'd feel sorry for the guy if he wasn't such a prick.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 02:02

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Oil of Paris posted:

For sale: 1 x jpg $15000 USD to be paid in small bills

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 04:44

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Kakarot posted:

Are these FYAD people?

No they are just some friendly guys I met at a parade and they came home to have a shower with me.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 06:53

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Thronde posted:

Ugh gently caress DBRB. "Hey guys bring Drakes we are most definitely NOT shooting towers" *proceed to shoot towers for hours*

Shooting towers with missile boats is bad, worse is using heavy missiles to do it. Unnecessary logistics bullshit.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 07:24

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Woah what's going on in here? :gary:

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 20:18

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Eonwe posted:

lets think back to Archeage launch

everyone had a wonderful time playing a terrible lovely janky pay to win game, it was wonderful

It turns out BobFromMarketing played Archeage with us. I didn't know who this dude was, neither did a lot of people. Some goons, however, knew him because he was outed as being a pedophile who groomed an icelandic teenager for sex. This was brought to the attention of the guild leaders, and a screencap of the goon guild leader was taken with him saying that 'it was a long time ago and wasnt even in America.' They wanted to keep him because he provided a lot of virtual wool for the guild (im not loving kidding). There were even attempts to sneak him back into the guild under a different name.

Naturally, a lot of goons found this really loving disgusting. I, Kimsemus, Stormgale, and a few other people started raising hell and eventually after a lot of drama and Imp Zone invasions the guild leader stepped down. (Sidenote: I used to be just a regular boring whitenoise poster before this, but I thought the imps were funny and thats why I started being a shitposting whitenoise poster instead.) In any case, the guild leader chose one of his friends to be a guild leader which didn't make anyone too happy, but he was an alright guy. Unfortunately, his dad got really sick so he just stopped coming on. He remained guild leader, so there was absolutely no real leadership. The guild had no real guild leader in his absence, just a bunch of officers. This led to some pretty awesome drama, including Kimsemus being kicked out of Goonrathi/EVE Goons

The reason Kimsemus is no longer in the EVE guild or the Star Citizen guild is because of the following:

Some of the officers wanted everyone to raise money by fishing. If you went out in the ocean you could play a lovely rhythm minigame to catch fish and turn them in for gold. The ocean was open PvP and if you were fishing you were basically really loving vulnerable. Some of the officers basically decided to ally with LITERALLY ANYONE SITTING IN THE OCEAN FISHING. Yes, you understood that right. They decided to make a well known alliance with any person in the loving ocean who had a fishing pole basically. This is despite the fact that since launch some Goons had been pirating and that was the main reason they played the game. This included Kimsemus. He was basically a PvP dude, and went around on his boat with goons and killed people.

Dabigredboat is one of the fishing pact goons and he got super mad at Kimsemus for goonfucking (by PvPing in an open PvP zone and killing pubbies). He used his influence to get Kimsemus and Lincoln kicked out of both EVE Goons and Goonrathi because he was super loving mad at video game fishing in a lovely korean MMO. As far as Anders goes? I don't know why Anders cares so much but he seems to really not like Kimsemus.

Anyway every director other than Anders I've talked to has basically said they don't care about Kimsemus and wouldn't really care if he was in except for Anders. Beer seems to not really care period either to be fair.

/

e: failed attempt at :garysay: above.

Looks like that BFM stuff went down after I stopped playing eve. :cripes:

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 02:35

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

jaegerx posted:

drat goons. Reddit is watching. They're gonna think we aren't organized.

They'll just get distracted by the drama and when they look at SC again Derek Smart will be victorious.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 04:42

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

AP posted:

When I saw that sand worm pop out I thought I was going to lose my spice harvester.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 09:02

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Dark Off posted:

seriously they photoshopped 3d work that even i could do in half a day

No they received $93m in crowd funding and can't AFFORD to pay someone to do half a day's work in 3ds max. All they have is photoshop teams in four countries. :gary:

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 09:19

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

de_dust posted:

What does Christ Roberts even do? Does he program or anything, or is he an ideas guy.

He just sucks people into his fantasy world. His brother Erin (who may be a woman according to company documents) tries to implement his ideas. They just need to enter the game completion phase where Microsoft buys the company, fires :wtchris:

and whips Erin until a game happens.

Somehow I don't think Microsoft will repeat the same mistake twice.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2015 21:28

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

alphabettitouretti posted:

A reminder that failing to file accounts is a criminal offence.

Karl and the rest of the faithful, what's your opinion on Foundry 42 breaking the law and having to spend backer money on fines because they cannot or do not want to follow simple laws? Does this make you think they have something to hide re finances or is it simply incompetence and/or laziness?

I had to check that again, yep, still not filed. I made excuses about late filing a while back but it's November now and still no accounts filed. They will definitely eat fines now as there must be a massive accounting gently caress up that either the Foundry 42 accountant or their external accountant must be trying to clean up.

Will Derek's spacecourt filing be the event that pulls the pin on the whole thing? My conclusion :gary:

paaaarrrrrrrrrrrpppppppp :shepface:

# ¿ Nov 1, 2015 23:55

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Tank Boy Ken posted:

You can't literally burn .jpgs. The most you can do is to burn the file storage device that contains the .jpgs. Or delete them. But you can not burn the actual file.

Redditors funding SC don't understand technical things like this. Some contact with human civilisation would be required to know that.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2015 00:20

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Jimb posted:

After the dust settles there had better be some kind of tragic breakdown of where the money went.

Enron provided content for a lot of documentaries. No doubt SC will provide some pretty entertaining media in the future.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2015 03:29

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

RedTonic posted:

I definitely expect to see miscategorized leases (which would reduce liabilities), capitalized costs (reduces expenses), and delayed reporting of returns (which would also explain some of CIG's ire with Beer) in the findings of any investigations of CIG's finances.

I'm expecting to see obfuscation of what is actually going on with unusual transactions between the companies. There may be a number of off balance sheet activities that probably aren't supposed to be off balance sheet. Having less money than they're supposed to or significantly more than they're supposed to would be quite interesting.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

if that certain way was complete in the next decade, then yes

If they ever completed the game it would still look like this :gary:

Devian666 fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Nov 2, 2015

# ¿ Nov 2, 2015 03:40

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Even since I received my refund I'm only invested in comedy gold.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 02:54

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

mormonpartyboat posted:

hello friend have you heard about the laffchain

I've been cashing in on the laffchain for quite some time. Ever since Bruce Wagner "Mortgage Broker" streaming tv show. A mortgage broker that the judge pointed out had never gotten anyone a mortgage.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 03:19

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Jegan Ace posted:

Is hating on Fallout 4 in vogue now?

Hard to keep up with the new cynical goon crowd these days.

I'm not up to date with the latest but then I'm skeptical about pre-orders these days. Why pay full price for a game I won't get around to playing for 6 months only to see it on sale when I start playing?

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 03:25

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

peter gabriel posted:

With Star Citizen the second part isn't ever an issue due to the way it's uniquely not being made

Fixed that for you. :gary:

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 03:30

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

peter gabriel posted:

Reminds me of the end of Titanic where that loving huge Jpeg sinks, I cry everytime

I cry male tears over it.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 03:37

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Furious Mittens posted:

That's small time. You've haven't lived unless you experienced the Bruce Wagner Bitcoin show at Meze Grill.

Meze Grill selling burritos for bitcoins but they didn't sell burritos. No wonder their business failed.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 04:02

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Warcabbit posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xs0XOFPi2Y Hey, check this band out.

Why?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/290300

Because they're Rebel Galaxy's buttrock.

How did they finish this game? It's not possible.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 04:12

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

He's still got me blocked from his twitter feed. I have to log out to see what he's been up to, which is retweeting the D Smart bingo. The best part about that bingo is when you fill in every square you get to shout "STAR CITIZEN".

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 00:03

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

FrankieGoes posted:

We've been short selling Idrises and Javelins and Endeavors on the gray market for months. When Derek crashes the market we were going to cover and make millions. But now it looks like we're all hosed. I'll owe 150k dollars on my margin call if Derek doesn't post that blog RIGHT loving NOW.

Pork bellies are going belly up.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 01:29

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Ash1138 posted:

So I've never actually watched any of the 10,000 video things they've done, but are scripted things like this common? I mean even a stupid high school video skit ends up being something like an hour of work for 1 minute of footage so if they do this crap all the time, how do they even get any work done?

That is the actual issue. I spend whole days on set just to make a 3 minute short film, or a whole day to make a music video. Given the hundreds of RSI emails piled up in my mailbox you can tell they spend most of the day creating marketing material instead of a game. There's a lot of work needed to keep a scam running on this scale.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 01:34