Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Tippis posted:

It just struck me�

Is this a response to the Planet Coaster videos that have been making the rounds? The ones where they illustrate how they use fluid mechanics to drive crowd behaviour and agent animations, from avoidance to crowding to reaction to nearby events. What are the odds that Chris is once again trying to do one better than Braben, and instead just sharts out poorly animated sleepwalkers who fail to avoid air?

Just looking at that video, the people they're talking to are so animated and happy and excited to be at work and about what they're doing. :3:

Contrast with the schlubs at CIG who look alternately bored, aloof, or desperate to be anywhere else. I know that morale is reported to be in the gutter there, but seeing how happy employees SHOULD look really drives it home.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 04:10

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 10:17

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Scathach posted:

Hell I don't even have time to crack that poo poo. If some benevolent goon is out there I'd love a PM while I draw out your lovely Goonrathi posters.

This only minus the drawing as I cannot art. :saddowns:

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 23:56

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I'm pretty sure I won't look like him in 2 years

feels great

He looks like he's about a decade older than he actually is. And not a particularly well-preserved mid-40's either. I'm genuinely surprised he's that young.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 14:21

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

D1E posted:

Trust me on this: you think you want to know, but you really don't want to know.

It will fill you with a righteous anger.

I have wanted to punch something all day.

On the offchance that this isn't a windup just PM it to me, because right now my balls are so blue that I'm starting to replace every 10th or so word with 'smurf'.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 23:42

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

I worked it out.

I saw the message.

Overhead, without any fuss, the stars are going out.

Ceci n'est pas une indice.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 11:18

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

The salt on both sides due to codebreaking malarkey has been amazing. We've sacrificed our dignity to give the internet equivalent of a stinkpalm.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 23:30

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

ZenMaster posted:

So I saw Tim Tams at the store and I had to grab them and try them after watching Sandi absorb an entire box.

They are pretty good, 9/10.

Bite the tips of both ends off and use it as a straw to drink your favourite hot beverage.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 23:54

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

G0RF posted:

this commercial is for?

I'm the bird flip gag lifted directly from a Disney movie.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 23:54

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

G0RF posted:

this commercial is for?

A.. a.. a.. gu-guh-girl??? In a spaceship?!?! *cue epic music*

Truly this is the greatest time to be alive.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 23:55

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMaA2RxGeIc

I'm the clear delineation between actual sand dunes and a skybox.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 23:56

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

, I know now why you :justpost:

, but it is something I can never do. *lowers self into molten metal, gives last, heartwarming thumbs-up*

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 23:56

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Eonwe posted:

you ed right there though!

Maybe the posting was inside of me all along!

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 00:05

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

I'm also in Adelaide on holiday visiting family

Hey, I live here - but at least it's not Darwin.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 13:38

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

I'm going to put my hat in the ring and predict that the ELE is an engine change. It's possible that someone's finally managed to convince Chris that cryengine isn't up to the task, but doing it now would virtually ensure the death of the game as it's closing the gate well after the horse has bolted now. Also because this is DNF parte deux with a liberal sprinkling of Ion Storm.

Bonus points if it's an upgrade to another version of cryengine.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 23:49

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

SomethingJones posted:

From 10 for the Chairman: Episode 82
Apr 11, 2016 @ 5:54

Q: As more and more features are made live within the Baby PU, such as persistence, what will happen at 'Go Live'? Will the universe be reset to first positions a la Truman Show style or will our current endeavours persist over the threshold?

A: Again, that's another good question, so uhmm, we haven't made a hard and fast rule of it, so the plan is with the current mini pee ewe, ahm, especially when we start dee-doo-puh-persistence... ahh... which will have some currency, it will be ALPHA UEC and ALPHA UEC we can, ah, reset at any time... we'll still let you SPEND some of the actual PROPER UEC that you guys have COLLECTED or have been given, and in that case we won't reset things that you have bought with that.... ahhhhh.... and I think I mentioned this last week, but we also won't, um... um... take those things back if you'd bought 'em with and we'll let you, ahhh... sort of TRADE THEM IN for the FULL UEC price... whereas on the ALPHA UEC it will be much more like how the FINAL IMPLEMENTATION will be whereas if you sort of buy a new... SHIP or a new WEAPON and you come back to sell it back again it will have... taken some depreciation... ah, so we'll... occasionally RESET... ahh... STUFF... I think, until we have the dynamic arc... economy working... ah, over quite a few star citiz... star... sys...tems... we won't have sort of felt like everything's sort of BALANCED and... FREE of EXPLOITS and GLITCHES so, until then we problee... uhm... we'll sort of reserve the right to RESET STUFF... but there very well may be a case before we sort of consider it (air quote) FINAL GO LIVE, that we just decide, OOP! This is it! We're switching to PROPER UEC, everything's stable enough and we go from here, and things then at that point on that you build up or EARN, uhm... mm... would... STAY WITH YOU, although... to be honest with you... that probably is a pretty good definition of like, GO LIVE... so... ahhm... THAT'S KIND OF IT, like I said but not a hard and fast rule, though it is kind of the sort of THINKING that... we have is so we're approaching it

Not a single loving clue how his own game will work. Fucks' sake.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 00:29

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

List of the only known objects denser than people who think that the way to get Derek Smart to ease up on the incessant internet warlord shitposting is to engage him directly:

Sag. A*
The crust around Ben Lesnick's taint.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 16:43

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Mods: donut press butan

Shart: *rapid-fire waves his hands 5 mm from butan occasionally tapping it gently* I NOT PRESS BUTAN!

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 00:25

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

G0RF posted:

Frontier offers new details about The Engineers and it's looking pretty substantial...

Here's a couple of pics of crafted unique weapons-- but the whole summary is worth it.

Honestly I'm looking forward to the little quality of life upgrades in the form of the shop categories and the actual numerical weapon stats almost as much as the expanded content.

P.S.

Ya Whoah Did Ehp Did Eh Woh Did

# ¿ Apr 16, 2016 12:50

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

his nibs posted:

#20,330

well, that's just loving depressing. I think I'll leave it there.

You know what I hate? When some kid dies in a car accident people make a little pile of flowers and crap along the road. #20,330

# ¿ Apr 16, 2016 16:25

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

This is the best thread on the forums.

$110 million was worth it for the sheer entertainment value.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2016 16:29

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

im eternatored game developer banditloaf. i first started playing Wing Commander when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "game development" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "What'd the unhappy husband do on Christmas eve? Murdered his wife and unborn child and dumped them in the ocean. *rimshot*" and "You know what I hate? When some kid dies in a car accident people make a little pile of flowers and crap along the road." in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corner of my one good eye etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics and donuts. i would advise all people who "get" Star Citizen to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2016 16:50

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

skaboomizzy posted:

Nah, they'll hire a Hasidic Jew to sit on camera with Sandi and laugh approvingly at everything she says.

...with a hat that says "MONEY" on it.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 07:47

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

Alright, you've thoroughly overplayed your hand now.

Yeah, it's a pity that he's tipped his hand as a troll because I was really looking forward to telling him to suck my oval office.

It's a good pastiche of the kind of person who is unable to detect the irony in "the internet is serious business", tho. I especially like that there's about a half-dozen redditor/shitizen narratives surrounding why we're doing all of this, and in typical can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees fashion they throw out all of these wild theories about how we're in the employ of Derek Smart or we have some sort of ulterior motive, when at the end of the day it's simply because this is all really, really funny to us.

That's the limit of the skin we have in this game, notable exceptions like CIG ex-employees and Derek himself aside.

poo poo's funny, yo.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:03

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Turd Burglar posted:

guys i just thought i'd share something really quickly. i'm looking for a mixer for some cheap vodka at my friends place and all he has is diet dr pepper. i dont really drink soda so i tried it and it's horrible. please do not ever drink diet dr pepper. its bad, even with alcohol.

The yanks tried introducing Dr Pepper to Australia and it was available for widespread retail for about 6 months before completely disappearing from the shelves of all but the most niche import candy stores due to a complete lack of disinterest, so call me +1 person who can't believe people will voluntarily drink that swill.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:13

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

SurfaceDetail posted:

I have diet dr pepper cherry vanilla in my fridge right now. It owns

I am sorry for your loss.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:16

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

CrazyTolradi posted:

Same thing happened to Starbucks, except for some odd reason there's still a few open in Brisbane CBD (Queenslanders really don't know good coffee).

Ya, that was hilarious. The one shop that opened up here in Adelaide lasted about 6 months and then quietly closed down - I didn't even get the opportunity to check it out as I wasn't working in the CBD at the time. Somehow when you bring the McDonald's of coffee into an environment where people have been drinking proper Italian-style for decades and there's a shop on practically every corner where you can have it made well, it doesn't do so hot.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 15:47

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

CrazyTolradi posted:

I walked past it every morning on my way to work. Wasn't shocked to see it close because it rarely had any customers in it. Brisbane still has a couple running, because QLD, ugh.

Hey fellow Adelaide Goon!

Queenslanders are the valley girls of Australia, exaggerated high rising terminal and everything.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 15:57

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

lazorexplosion posted:

What the Christ how many other Adelaide goons are there?

Well Sandi has an account, so at least four.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 16:09

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

What the cunting gently caress?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 23:31

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

fuctifino posted:

Ahaha what game/mod is this? :3:

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:50

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Hi Derek, I'm sure you feel sad about whales not believing you when you say poo poo's hosed, so I decided to make Gil Scott-Heron spin in his grave for you.

An internet warlord warned us "SCAM!"
(But Derek smart's a goon)
Ben L.'s overdosed on ham.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
I can't pay my spaceship bill.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
Ten years from now, no Idris, still.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
Ben made more rape jokes last night.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
The new flight model's stinky shite.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
I wonder what's with CIG?
(But Derek smart's a goon)
I got news they were fooling me.
(From Derek smart, a goon)
Roberts taking my whole drat check,
Leavers making me a nervous wreck,
The price of ships is going up,
An' as if all that poo poo wasn't enough:
An internet warlord warned us "SCAM!"
(But Derek smart's a goon)
CIG has gone on the lam.
(But Derek smart's a goon)
With all that money they made last year
(Said Derek smart, the goon)
How come there ain't no money here?
(Asked Derek smart, the goon)
Y'know I just about had my fill
(Of Derek smart, the goon)
I think I'll send these spaceship bills,
Airmail special
(to Derek Smart, the goon)

# ¿ Apr 20, 2016 23:53

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

I've read a lot about how SC plays like you're a first person character with noclip on, but that Vanduul Swarm video really drove it home for me.

Compare that to ED where when you're simultaneously using every thruster to both pitch, roll, and laterally shift in a desperate attempt to stay behind an angry Anaconda and it really feels/sounds like your ship is about to shake itself apart, and how can you even compare the two with regards to immersion?

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 00:09

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

The Alice Through the Looking Glass quote about how in this land we need to run as fast as we can just to stay still has never been more apropos than when looking at CIG.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 03:00

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

"The thread is dead" shouts the impatient goon.

"not on my watch" says Chris Roberts, grabbing a set of electropaddles labelled "10 for the chairman" and "actually, come to think of it, anything at all that CIG does, plans, or announces".

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 04:34

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/328392/things-to-consider-with-2-4-on-the-horizon

these people all have PTSD from playing star citizen imo

I have the feeling that there's going to be a schism amongst the whales sooner rather than later. So far the community has been content to rock back and forth chanting "Krusty is coming, Krusty is coming" over and over again while they wax lyrical about how significant CIG's constant patching of the game is (fixing doors and alleged unspecified crashes), however the narrative is being built that the next patch is The Big One, and when it eventuates that there's nothing much to actually do in 2.4 (or worse if CIG starts delaying by releasing 2.39, 2.399, 2.3999999), the expectations that community members are building in their heads are going to shift from 'driving force behind ship sales because this will be better than reality' to 'why the gently caress isn't this better than reality yet?'

Then CIG will do this:

And a bunch of fans will do this:

# ¿ Apr 30, 2016 09:17

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

FrankieGoes posted:

I don't understand EightAces new gimmick.

Poe's law as applied to sarcasm.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2016 13:58

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

"Knock Knock."
"Who's there?"
"B_of_InfoRedux."
"B_of_InfoRedux who?"
"Suck my oval office."

# ¿ May 1, 2016 15:19

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Why did B_of_InfoRedux cross the road?
To suck my oval office.

# ¿ May 1, 2016 15:19

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Derek Smart, Chris Roberts, and B_of_InfoRedux walk into a bar. B_of_InfoRedux sucks everybody's oval office.

# ¿ May 1, 2016 15:19

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 10:17

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

What do you get when you cross somethingawful.com and B_of_InfoRedux?
I don't know, but it sure can suck a lot of oval office!

# ¿ May 1, 2016 15:19

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