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Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i've been using this smartphone with a cracked screen for 14 months but no worries, only three more until my contract with Verizon lets me upgrade

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Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
the hospital is trying to charge me $1000 on top of the $500 they already accepted in payment because it turns out that while the hospital is in-network, the actual doctor wasn't, and now they're saying they're going to send it to collections and I'm worried about dinging my credit.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

As a Millennial I posted:

i thought medical bills couldn't hurt your credit rating, legally

but do 5 figgy fucktards ITT know that?

edit- o ok lol

'MERIKUH

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i'm going to vote for Ben Carson, i think he has a lot of good ideas that i'm unable to enumerate for you presently other than 'take back America'.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
I'm a 5 figgy FuckTard ITT, and I'd like to invite you to join my LinkedIn network

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Smythe posted:

I have a printer for printing my resume.

I feel it's important that my resume both show the whole story, and also exist as evidence of my attention to detail, so it's 11 pages long.*




* i did actually receive an 11 page resume a few years back. based on the first two pages she wasn't even clear on what position she was applying for.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i actually get pretty good mileage out of my Porsche Boxster, but that's probably because i'm pretty careful about keeping it under the speed limit. I mean, can you imagine what a speeding ticket in a porsche does to your insurance?! but also, you know, i bought it and it's been a struggle to fit the payments in but really i see it as an investment, in ten years this baby will be a classic

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
honestly, i love working these 60 hour weeks for which i'm legislatively exempt from overtime. that's what capitalism is all about! If I had an issue I could just look for another job.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Dislike button posted:

This craft beer tastes weird so I'm just going to order a miller lite

you know, it's so great that craft beers are becoming more mainstream. seeing great small breweries getting ahead just shows that the market is looking for a better experience than that Coors Light garbage. I'll have a Blue Moon please waiter.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
We decided we wanted the ULTIMATE destination wedding to kick off our marriage with a bang and to really show our friends and families a good time. So we went with the mid-tier Disney World package.*





* some friends actually did this, i am still embarrassed for them

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
you know, after that project in the spring my boost to that senior position seemed like a shoe in. I'm really worried now, though, cuz I'll be out for a bit for this hernia surgery, and I already used up my vacation on that heart attack in July. But maybe i can put the surgery off and get back to the grind... after all, that co pay isn't gonna be cheap. maybe wait for the bonus at the end of the year.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Dislike button posted:

man i could really go for some mexican food. anyone want to drive me to taco bell?

man come on, you know that taco bell poo poo ain't real mexican. what kind of self-respecting mexican cook would make those godawful dorito tacos?

but i am feeling the ethnic vibe. Tell you what, I've got a gift card handy, let's go to the Olive Garden and i'll show you what some real foreign food is like.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Jimmy Carter posted:

why would I need to get a cable internet for my home I have t-mobile they have unlimited data I'll just run everything off of that

of course i have cable TV. I won't use netflix, the way my cable company is trying to limit their speeds and putting up data caps suggests netflix has some shady poo poo going on. better to stick with the tried and true.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Cat Face Joe posted:

i dont support net neutrality!

I vote based on how my company suggests I vote because what's good for them is de facto good for me.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
Car broke down again, a friend says I blew a head gasket. I should be ok if I let it warm all the way up before I drive it, he says.

Man I wish I could afford to live within range of mass transit, it'd be so much easier.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
Did you guys catch the latest Diner's, Drive-Ins, and Dives? Holy gently caress I love Guy Fieri.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
Hey you know about cars, right? my kid's about to turn 17 and we wanted to get him a car, got any recommendations that'd be reliable and cheap to repair, but also be somewhat cool?

<reasonable, thought out suggestion made here for a well known, well-regarded, reliable and cool car>

eh, nah, I think we'll just get him a used Camry.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i support the local university's football team!

i mean, i never went to college. in fact, i just have a GED. but i stick to the local team like it's my step-alma mater!

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
basically, Star Trek: Generations was the keystone of the whole series and is as critical as any of the others

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Syncopated posted:

Hey dude, I got my new home cinema set up, you wanna come over and watch Avengers 2 tonight? Oh by the way, do you have a netflix subscription?

it's cool, i have it on DVD. normal DVD, none of that blu-ray Sony scam bullshit

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

ADINSX posted:

I watch advertisements

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
ugh, loving cereal commercials. apparently they got brighter colors in Trix again so i'm going to have to buy the boxed stuff for my little shits instead of the generic bag again.

we can't afford this garbage. =(

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
A 25% pay raise? Hell yeah I'll uproot the family and move them to Houston! Hell, i've quit three times because they're all shitlords but if they want to keep offering more money...*



*a friend, literally this morning, who may in fact read this. you're an idiot dude.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Mr. Apollo posted:

i pretend to work late so I can use the photocopier at work to make copies of my amway brochures

I worry that i'll be caught using the copier at work to print off small personal jobs

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
One of my headlights blew out so I drive around with my high beams on so the cops can't tell and don't pull me over. That ticket would be loving expensive.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
I worry constantly about THOSE TYPES coming onto MY LAND to do crimes.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
did you see Luke Bryant do the halftime show at the Cowboys game today? that's good country music right there.

but when they got the cheerleaders up on stage you know they told him to dance with the black one so nobody would say he's racist*







*actual quote from cousin

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i have unironically referred to a man's testicles as his "brovaries"

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
my huge, white, spotlessly clean pickup truck that sees no use other than my commuting to the office daily is not in any way a statement about my virility.

i also don't understand why you see its "Harley Davidson Edition" badge funny or ironic. Fast motorcycles and working mans' trucks are goddamn american traditions.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
in my OkCupid profile i describe myself as self-actualized.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Panty Saluter posted:

papa johns is a great pizza and totally worth the money

oh hell yeah we hit up PJs like three times a week.

any pizza that doesn't get delivered isn't worth eating

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

Cat Face Joe posted:

I'm a five figgy maker and i VOTE

i'm stuck making 5 figgys because Obama put the economy in a leg iron to tax businesses to pay for our welfare for transgendered people and to fund all those loving abortions

if he'd let the free market sort itself out i'd probably be making 120k-ish as a supervisor at the warehouse

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
green energy is seriously just a scam. all those people paying out the rear end to install solar panels are idiots: electricity is electricity no matter where it comes from. i'm happy to just keep getting it out of the socket, thanks.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

yard salad posted:

wow really? i love my Kuerig

wow you're getting fleeced

my office has free coffee why would I drink anything else? powdered creamer is just as good as the real thing. better, probably, i bet it's healthier.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
I think that inflatable lawn decorations are a perfectly tasteful look for the holidays and I bet my neighbors are jealous.

And why would they need to match? the more you have the more festive, right? toy soldiers next to the nativity scene next to those white deer things with white lights on the roof and colored lights on the trees, plus some enormous fake poinsettias? loving class, man.

all of which takes second billing to my 24/7/365 american flag, rain or shine.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
owning a Rolex is, of course, a major life goal for all men and so having bought this one at crippling expense, i feel fulfilled.

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp

bump_fn posted:

I respect my boss

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
we were asked to do peer reviews again! i always look forward to this, i know my peers think highly of me and their feedback will surely get me a raise this time.

this is a valuable part of my developmental process and I take it very seriously.

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Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
i believe in American Exceptionalism

edit- and here's a picture of my truck.

Iridium fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Dec 2, 2015

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