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Once when I was around 8 or 9 I was hanging out with my cousin at a park. We went back to his place and smelled something terrible. We tracked the smell down to his room and found that his beloved Guinea Pig Marbles had died. We were both very sad and decided he should be cremated like they had done with Grandpa. That way we could could save his ashes in a Batman cup and leave them on the mantle. So we collected his remains and some lighter fluid and headed down to the public bbq to burn Marble's body like the heathen kings of old. What we didn't know was that you had to stick a corpse in an insanely hot oven to reduce it to ash. We thought you just had to light it on fire and let the natured take care of the rest. So we dumped Marbles in the bbq, soaked it in lighter fluid and lit it on fire. his hair sizzled, his toenails caught on fire but he went out pretty quick. We resoaked his half charred, toenailless corpse again and relit it. I don't know if you have ever smell burning Guinea hair and melting flesh, but it isn't pleasant. His hair was now fully burned off and his skin was blistering, but still no ashes. At this point we were starting to gather some attention from other people at the park. We panicked and thought they would call the cops and arrest us for improper animal corpse handling and sent to to Juvie. We patted Marble's corpse out, ran to the public restroom and tried to flush it down the toilet. It didn't go great. Marbles swirled around the bottom of the toilet like the way Curly would twirl around the flooring yelling " woob woob woob woob woob", but he didn't flush. We tried again but nothing happened. Panicking even more, we stuffed him down the toilet and flushed again. His corpse got sucked halfway down , then the toilet started to back up and overflow. Panicked completely took over at this point and we left Marbles stuck in the toilet and ran back to my cousin's house, dug a hole in the garden, buried an empty shoebox and told everyone that's where Marbles was buried. I've always wondered what the next person to use that restroom thought when they found a half roasted guinea pig corpse sticking out of the toilet like some kind of Skeksi puppet.
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Nov 8, 2015 00:13
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 12:33 |
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