Anybody here ever take a big DUMP in a public toilet and not flush?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Anybody here ever take a big DUMP in a public toilet and not flush?

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

One time I think in like sixth grade I was dooken and while I was there waiting for the main event I was like lol why I gotta poo poo in the toilet so I slid my rear end over and dropped one on the tile.

Sorry janitor, I knew that some day I would have to make this post

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 05:36

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 12:43

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

Have you ever been startled by your own poo poo, like you take what you thought is a normal poop but then you turn around and you're like WOOOAAHHHH

Yes and also disappointed at other times ~~~

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 05:41

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

oldpainless posted:

One time I went into a stall and it looked thst bathroom from candy man and I was like holy smokes what happened here?

Wasn't me dude geez lay off

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 05:45

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Stoic Commie posted:

I do it all the time, one time I stuffed a turd up the automatic hand dryer

How come I never thought of this

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 20:44

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Stoic Commie posted:

Because you aren't as smart as me

drat

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 21:44

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Kuato posted:

Yeah, I always flush. Although the idea of leaving some juvenile gift to people is appealing on some level. Particularly if it turned out really good; but with my diet that hardly ever happens.

I took a crustpunk to a hospital one time and he told about how when he was younger he used to make his friend Mikey produce a shitdollar (this is a dollar bill where one side is coated with a thin layer of human or animal poo poo) which he would stick down to the sidewalk in a busy part of town and watch as the greedy would stoop over to get their free dollar and come away with their fingers coated in poo poo. I thought you might appreciate this image and urge you to consider leaving a boggy log behind the next time you have an opportunity in tribute to it.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 21:48

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Someone make a new thread titled "Soup is the best thing to eat for breakfast" I want to post in it and Android app can't make new threads

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 21:53

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

The Sphinxster posted:

You don't have to be greedy to pick up a dollar. WTF?

Lol

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 22:12

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I mean seriously lol people got poo poo on their fingers in the very act of money grubbing how is that not automatic lol

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 22:13

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

The Sphinxster posted:

How much poo poo did you get on your hands preparing the dollar?

edit: not saying it isn't funny but I get another laugh at you probably also

None idiot you make Mikey do it.

Mikey is a literally retarded person who hangs out with you because he has no friendship options in this world and you leverage this against him in order to get the shitdollar built in the first place.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 23:53

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Jim Barris posted:

Why were you taking him to the hospital?

It was my job.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 23:55

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Ricardio posted:

I work shifts. Days, nights and afternoons. Weekly rotation.

The cleaning staff doesn't rotate. The lady who works days is a loving oval office. Easily the most hated person at work.

Not only do I leave my poo poo in the toilet I also wipe my rear end and leave the paper on the floor.

It pleases me greatly to know she has to flush my poops and pick up my lovely leavings.

There have been many emails from HR regarding this.

I hate her.

Lol

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 23:57

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 12:43

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Your Gay Uncle posted:

Once when I was around 8 or 9 I was hanging out with my cousin at a park. We went back to his place and smelled something terrible. We tracked the smell down to his room and found that his beloved Guinea Pig Marbles had died. We were both very sad and decided he should be cremated like they had done with Grandpa. That way we could could save his ashes in a Batman cup and leave them on the mantle.

So we collected his remains and some lighter fluid and headed down to the public bbq to burn Marble's body like the heathen kings of old. What we didn't know was that you had to stick a corpse in an insanely hot oven to reduce it to ash. We thought you just had to light it on fire and let the natured take care of the rest. So we dumped Marbles in the bbq, soaked it in lighter fluid and lit it on fire. his hair sizzled, his toenails caught on fire but he went out pretty quick. We resoaked his half charred, toenailless corpse again and relit it.

I don't know if you have ever smell burning Guinea hair and melting flesh, but it isn't pleasant. His hair was now fully burned off and his skin was blistering, but still no ashes. At this point we were starting to gather some attention from other people at the park. We panicked and thought they would call the cops and arrest us for improper animal corpse handling and sent to to Juvie. We patted Marble's corpse out, ran to the public restroom and tried to flush it down the toilet.

It didn't go great. Marbles swirled around the bottom of the toilet like the way Curly would twirl around the flooring yelling " woob woob woob woob woob", but he didn't flush. We tried again but nothing happened. Panicking even more, we stuffed him down the toilet and flushed again. His corpse got sucked halfway down , then the toilet started to back up and overflow. Panicked completely took over at this point and we left Marbles stuck in the toilet and ran back to my cousin's house, dug a hole in the garden, buried an empty shoebox and told everyone that's where Marbles was buried.

I've always wondered what the next person to use that restroom thought when they found a half roasted guinea pig corpse sticking out of the toilet like some kind of Skeksi puppet.

Pretty good post

# ¿ Nov 8, 2015 00:15

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Anybody here ever take a big DUMP in a public toilet and not flush?