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Tiberius Thyben posted:Tell us more. Don't leave us hanging. i'm friends with the security guys at work and one of the pieces of software we have stores all of your form input data so they can see your google searches and poo poo. It's not something they are constantly scanning but if there's other evidence they use it as correlation. Well one day they got word of a guy looking at dodgy poo poo so they looked through the search history and it was literally hundreds of google image searches for like "naked girls", "hot boobs", "sex", etc. The kind of stuff you'd search for when you were 14.
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Jan 2, 2016 12:53
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one time I saw an old man and a little girl get blown up because a mk 19 gunner reported the guy's farming tools as an RPG and a lieutenant, trusting that dumbass private implicitly, gave him an order to fire on them
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Jan 2, 2016 13:50
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I used to drive a truck doing pickup/dropoff for a charity organization. They'd take free donated items from rich people and sell them off to poor people for cheap and use the difference to do good stuff. In the morning we'd load up the truck with drop-off orders and head out for delivery which almost always entailed going to the poorest parts of town since that's the kind of place that needs used stuff. The things we encountered during drop-off were depressing: a 400 lb homebound woman whose legs were literally splitting open at the skin due to some kind of diabetes/circulatory problem, naked children running around free-range style in a house that reeked of poo poo and urine while the parents sat in a kitchen containing only empty booze bottles (reported that one to the police), people who were obviously squatting in abandoned houses who needed cheap furnishings, and way too many folks with severe drug addictions or totally curable (if only they had the money) medical issues to count. Sometime around noon we'd be finished with the drop-offs and start doing donation pick-ups from the rich folks. The pick-up route usually involved driving into some gated community where all of the streets were named some poo poo like "Success Blvd" or "Trophy Lane" and the houses were arranged so they all looked out onto a private golf course. There were two main types of people on this route, (a) rich folks who were re-decorating and who wanted to get rid of their old stuff and (b) places where some old person had died and their bereaved family was cleaning out their belongings. The rich folks treated us like servants and often as not asked us to help move in their new poo poo in after we collected their donations. We weren't really supposed to do this but the other guy in the truck with me was in a bad financial state so sometimes he'd agree to do it for $40 or whatever and I got sucked into the job. The 'dead grandpa' crowd always would try to foist more crap on us than the charity organization had agreed to take because they just wanted to clear the place out - in particular they often wanted to give us piles of old VHS tapes that we knew would never sell and always had to be screened for porn since dead grandpas apparently like to hide their porn stash by shoving their "Debbie Does Dallas" tapes into "It's a Wonderful Life" sleeves. The weirdest day on that job began when the little old lady who scheduled our route sheepishly asked my driving partner and I to come into her office and closed the door. After a lot of stammering and stuttering she finally delivered the message that someone at a local nudist community had died and had willed all of her furniture to the charity which would be a huge score for us if only my delivery partner and I were willing to go there to pick it up. She repeatedly assured us that we could refuse if we were uncomfortable going there, but neither my partner nor I really gave a gently caress about seeing naked people so off we went. We drove to the address provided, had to show our papers to some folks manning the security gate, and then past a very large "You will encounter nude people beyond this point" sign into the compound. That's about the point where I saw my first real-life nudist: She was probably in her sixties, grossly overweight, and walking her schnauzer dog wearing nothing but a pair of flip-flops, a sun visor, and a dogshit bag preemptively mounted on her left hand. After schnauzer-poop lady we drove by the clubhouse/pool area where a dozen or so equally old and wrinkly people were laying out in the sun attempting to achieve whatever level of tan comes after beef jerky leather skin. We backed up to the house in question and met the (thankfully clothed) family of the dead person who were both still reeling from the shock of the death of their loved one and obviously uncomfortable at being in the nudist commune. They were all cool and good about it tho, but as my partner and I were loading the furniture a selection of the locals came wandering by and started commiserating and bemoaning their departed friend while stark nekkid and formed a kind of 60+ leathery tanned wake of wrinkly people in front of the house. So there we were, my partner and I, loading dressers and couches amid a sea of saggy boobs and balls, pretending like it was just another day at the office. The crazy thing was that the nudists exhibited a genuine empathy for their departed friend and a kind of no-fucks-given cool that I actually preferred working around when compared to the entitled shitbirds on Success Blvd. or Trophy Lane. PDP-1 fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 05:22
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Nothing ever exciting happens when you work in a cubicle... which is more than fine, seeing as everyone else here has some wacky-rear end stories in retail and the like.SLICK GOKU BABY posted:So you work from home? SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Ah, so you work at home?  goldmine lol
kalel fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 20:19
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revmoo posted:That's lovely, but I'm having a hard time understanding how the son is liable for the fraud committed by the father. Shouldn't he be able to file a police report and give that to the IRS to cancel the tax liability? There was no fraud involved at all. What the father did with the policy while he owned it was 100% legal and the ownership change assigns all tax obligations as well as the current cash value, loans, etc. to the new owner. I suggested he talk to a tax attorney and sent him on his way. I'm not getting involved in that situation at all. Too big of a mess.
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Jan 3, 2016 21:05
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Nothing ever exciting happens when you work in a cubicle... So you work from home?
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Jan 3, 2016 22:06
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Nothing ever exciting happens when you work in a cubicle... I thought gloryholes were voluntary, not paid?
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Jan 4, 2016 05:22
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A girl carrying a glass panel on her shoulder through restaurant style swinging doors as someone was walking the other way and her neck got cut open. On the same evening the bit of bone that sticks out into the bridge of my nose (skateboarding accident as a kid) got dislodged and it was like turning the tap on my nose. Ended up having to put adrenaline on cotton buds and shove them up my nose Both looked like some ultra bloody movie scene afterwards
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Jan 4, 2016 06:49
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When I worked call centre tech support, someone used to rip out their pubes and dump them in the urinal.
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Jan 4, 2016 07:02
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I worked at a large amusement park for a few years as an audio/video/everything technician up until last year when I got a REAL job. There were a lot of osha violations and sex stories but it's all babby poo poo in comparison to what I've read so far. Just wanna contribute so I'll say wash ANY toys you win at the games. Firstly they were stuffed with "recycled material" (trash, bits of plastic, styrofoam, chinese newspaper shreddings), I've seen people clean their tools / boots / anything with them, raccoons would sleep with them, and often at the water games they would fall into a basin of rusty poo poo filled water and be pulled out to dry and given to kids, quite a few that smell like my rear end too because I looved getting baked and just sittin in a pile of stuffed animals. Dunno why but I also remember trying to repair wac-a-mole and this fat lil kid was making a ton of noise and banging poo poo because he couldn't play. Well he sat on one of the units and I pressed the demo button which makes the moles all pop up and he got it right in the arse and ran away hollering. hehehaha I remember seeing a fat raccoon get disembowelled by the lift chain in front of a crowd of screaming kids. heheh That job was so much fun 
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Jan 4, 2016 12:20
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I used to help in the kitchen of a small restaurant and the chef/owner used to smoke cigarettes back in the kitchen (which was tiny) all the time which im sure violated numerous healthcodes but there was a big fan in there to help get rid of fumes from the spices so i guess he had been getting away with it for years. One time he was making a huge bowl of salad dressing (caesar iirc) with both hands and the cigarette in his mouth had accumulated like an inch of ash and it all fell into the bowl of dressing. He definitely noticed and just kept mixing it. Really gave no fucks type of guy. Restaurant is still open the food there is good whatever i would eat it ash or no
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Jan 4, 2016 13:04
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When i was working as a parking attendant one time this truck pulled up really quickly and the driver jumped out in a panic, hurried over to the passenger side to pull this limp body of his friend out whose face had turned deep purple, yelling for somebody to call 911 which we did. Ambulance and cops arrived meanwhile the driver is just pacing and freaking out and crying cause his best friend had just od'd on heroin right next to him riding around in the truck. He was dead before the paramedics got there. Oh and the cops arrested the driver for possession and prob some other poo poo as a cherry on top. Same job i saw a pedestrian get hit pretty hard by a driver who didnt stop at a red light and just kept going. Ambulance took the victim away but he wasnt moving or anything i have no idea what happened to him 
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Jan 4, 2016 13:09
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I was in the restroom at work, just finishing up washing my hands, when I heard the guy in the stall go "Ahh, poo poo!" followed by the sound of something hitting the tile. I looked in the mirror and saw a couple of what looked like candies come rolling out from by his feet to the drain in the middle of the room. "That's odd", I thought, shutting off the water and reaching for a paper towel. Just then, he continues "poo poo poo poo poo poo!!!" and the remains of what I can only presume was a party-sized bag of peanut M&Ms began bouncing and rolling out from the bathroom stall. The toilet snacker had hurriedly stood up and was putting his pants on, but I was in no rush to find out which co-worker of mine this was, so I just ran out without looking back.
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Jan 4, 2016 13:49
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an AOL chatroom posted:I was in the restroom at work, just finishing up washing my hands, when I heard the guy in the stall go "Ahh, poo poo!" followed by the sound of something hitting the tile. I looked in the mirror and saw a couple of what looked like candies come rolling out from by his feet to the drain in the middle of the room. "That's odd", I thought, shutting off the water and reaching for a paper towel. Just then, he continues "poo poo poo poo poo poo!!!" and the remains of what I can only presume was a party-sized bag of peanut M&Ms began bouncing and rolling out from the bathroom stall. The toilet snacker had hurriedly stood up and was putting his pants on, but I was in no rush to find out which co-worker of mine this was, so I just ran out without looking back. I think he was trying to taste the rainbow
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Jan 4, 2016 14:22
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an AOL chatroom posted:I was in the restroom at work, just finishing up washing my hands, when I heard the guy in the stall go "Ahh, poo poo!" followed by the sound of something hitting the tile. I looked in the mirror and saw a couple of what looked like candies come rolling out from by his feet to the drain in the middle of the room. "That's odd", I thought, shutting off the water and reaching for a paper towel. Just then, he continues "poo poo poo poo poo poo!!!" and the remains of what I can only presume was a party-sized bag of peanut M&Ms began bouncing and rolling out from the bathroom stall. The toilet snacker had hurriedly stood up and was putting his pants on, but I was in no rush to find out which co-worker of mine this was, so I just ran out without looking back. In the suite building I used to work in, there was a semi-private bathroom that required a key for the two small offices on the floor to share. 1-2 times a week my coworkers and myself for a time period of just about 2 years would enter the private bathroom to find Hostess empty wrappers near the toilet bowl on the floor. It was puzzling at first but the trend continued and I suspect he was purchasing his snacks just before he entered the bathroom area at the vending machines before heading in for battle. To this day, we still don't know the identity of the snack deucer. polio king fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Jan 4, 2016 |
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Jan 4, 2016 14:32
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that's got to be some sort of weird diet cheating thing, right? hiding their shame in a bathroom stall
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Jan 4, 2016 14:33
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TacticalUrbanHomo posted:one time I saw an old man and a little girl get blown up because a mk 19 gunner reported the guy's farming tools as an RPG and a lieutenant, trusting that dumbass private implicitly, gave him an order to fire on them Not enough love for this one.
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Jan 4, 2016 14:38
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When I worked at the prison while i was going to school, we had a pissed off guard poo poo in the coffee pot that the admin team had in their office with a typed note attached "You guys can clean it out yourselves this time" with a bunch of dates over the past 2 years listed under it
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Jan 4, 2016 14:39
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Booblord Zagats posted:When I worked at the prison while i was going to school, we had a pissed off guard poo poo in the coffee pot that the admin team had in their office with a typed note attached "You guys can clean it out yourselves this time" with a bunch of dates over the past 2 years listed under it Did the admin team poo poo in the guards coffee pot for 2 years and he hust found out it was them?
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Jan 4, 2016 16:15
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Fluo posted:Did the admin team poo poo in the guards coffee pot for 2 years and he hust found out it was them? sounds like a random act of fecal violence
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Jan 4, 2016 16:27
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Again at that same race track, there was a time a couple of people brought rental cars to the race track. It was pretty hilarious, they didn't give a gently caress at all.
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Jan 4, 2016 18:22
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Solice Kirsk posted:There was no fraud involved at all. What the father did with the policy while he owned it was 100% legal and the ownership change assigns all tax obligations as well as the current cash value, loans, etc. to the new owner. I suggested he talk to a tax attorney and sent him on his way. I'm not getting involved in that situation at all. Too big of a mess. Either the son was defrauded by having the condition of the policy that he was accepting ownership of misrepresented, or is so  as to be unable to enter into contracts.
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Jan 4, 2016 20:46
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deep impact on vhs posted:random act of fecal violence Good name for a shitposter.
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Jan 4, 2016 20:56
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Frozen Horse posted:Either the son was defrauded by having the condition of the policy that he was accepting ownership of misrepresented, or is so Eh, I'm not a lawyer which is why I wouldn't touch the thing, but I'd think he would have to prove to a court that he was defrauded by his father with more evidence than just his word against his father's. I know the tax rules for life insurance and just following the contract as is, dude is hosed. Still, its a dick move that was worthy of being posted in this thread. What an absolute poo poo bag of a father.
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Jan 4, 2016 21:39
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Fluo posted:Did the admin team poo poo in the guards coffee pot for 2 years and he hust found out it was them? No, he was mad about having to clean up after the mistakes admin made which made the prisoners really surly
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Jan 4, 2016 21:41
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A patient came into the ER with an animal bite on his chest. Not too strange yet. When he removed his shirt we noticed his left man boob was inflamed to the size of a small C-cup, dark red with twin puncture wounds around the nipple. Turns out the guy had captured a bat and had the bright idea of attempting to get it to nurse on him. He died from rabies a few weeks later.
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Jan 5, 2016 01:23
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Holy gently caress
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Jan 5, 2016 01:48
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Asclepius Hot Rod posted:A patient came into the ER with an animal bite on his chest. Not too strange yet. 
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Jan 5, 2016 01:49
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Solice Kirsk posted:Eh, I'm not a lawyer which is why I wouldn't touch the thing, but I'd think he would have to prove to a court that he was defrauded by his father with more evidence than just his word against his father's. I know the tax rules for life insurance and just following the contract as is, dude is hosed. Still, its a dick move that was worthy of being posted in this thread. What an absolute poo poo bag of a father. Absolute shitbag move by Dad, but I think that could qualify as "misrepresentation of a material fact."
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Jan 5, 2016 03:02
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praxis posted:Absolute shitbag move by Dad, but I think that could qualify as "misrepresentation of a material fact." and in a civil court he wouldn't necessarily need hard evidence of misrepresentation. His word against his father's could be good enough.
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Jan 5, 2016 03:57
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an AOL chatroom posted:I was in the restroom at work, just finishing up washing my hands, when I heard the guy in the stall go "Ahh, poo poo!" followed by the sound of something hitting the tile. I looked in the mirror and saw a couple of what looked like candies come rolling out from by his feet to the drain in the middle of the room. "That's odd", I thought, shutting off the water and reaching for a paper towel. Just then, he continues "poo poo poo poo poo poo!!!" and the remains of what I can only presume was a party-sized bag of peanut M&Ms began bouncing and rolling out from the bathroom stall. The toilet snacker had hurriedly stood up and was putting his pants on, but I was in no rush to find out which co-worker of mine this was, so I just ran out without looking back. lol this is a real funny story
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Jan 5, 2016 04:04
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praxis posted:Absolute shitbag move by Dad, but I think that could qualify as "misrepresentation of a material fact." I wish this response was posted under the bat story.
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Jan 5, 2016 04:26
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Asclepius Hot Rod posted:bat story that's the most simultaneously metal and heartwarming story I've ever heard
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Jan 5, 2016 19:05
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an AOL chatroom posted:I was in the restroom at work, just finishing up washing my hands, when I heard the guy in the stall go "Ahh, poo poo!" followed by the sound of something hitting the tile. I looked in the mirror and saw a couple of what looked like candies come rolling out from by his feet to the drain in the middle of the room. "That's odd", I thought, shutting off the water and reaching for a paper towel. Just then, he continues "poo poo poo poo poo poo!!!" and the remains of what I can only presume was a party-sized bag of peanut M&Ms began bouncing and rolling out from the bathroom stall. The toilet snacker had hurriedly stood up and was putting his pants on, but I was in no rush to find out which co-worker of mine this was, so I just ran out without looking back. Let's not make any assumptions. Those M&Ms were probably going in that guy's butt.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:10
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that time I tried to "gently caress my way to the top" but it's just me and other straight males at my job
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Jan 7, 2016 09:12
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Just last week I found out the girl I sit next to at work has been keeping secret spreadsheets of what time I'm arriving and going home.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:25
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Slugnoid posted:Just last week I found out the girl I sit next to at work has been keeping secret spreadsheets of what time I'm arriving and going home. Are you going to do the same to her
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Jan 7, 2016 09:41
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Slugnoid posted:Just last week I found out the girl I sit next to at work has been keeping secret spreadsheets of what time I'm arriving and going home.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:42
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Fluo posted:Are you going to do the same to her she probably comes in before him and leaves after
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Jan 7, 2016 09:43
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She most certainly does. Anyway she's a bitter old hag who's just mad because she's been there ten years and never been promoted. I've been there two and I've been basically charged with re-training her how to do her job.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:45
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