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red_dirt
Apr 26, 2014

by Shine
It's pretty tame, but I once had a sales/engineer vendor team giving a pitch in my office. The engineer gradually slipped into a diabetic coma over the course of the pitch and his sales buddy started chewing his rear end and punching him in the shoulder for "being rude".

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red_dirt
Apr 26, 2014

by Shine

Applewhite posted:

I worked at a lumber mill one summer up in Canada. There were no women for fifty miles so the men got pretty horny, and we'd get up to some crazy shenanigans that aren't gay at all because it's just guys hangin' out trying to let off some steam and anyone would act the same in our situation.
Anyway, we had one guy who'd done back to back shifts (a "shift" is three months in the wilderness) get so desperate he tried to gently caress a knothole on one of the trees. Unfortunately, that particular knothole happened to be the nest for a colony of Canadian Fire Ants. Within ten seconds his whole groin area was completely covered in a living carpet of biting red ants. They'd chewed his poor ding dong down to a nub before we managed to hose them off.
His nickname from then on was "Stumpy Applewhite" because the man in the story.... was me :(

That reminds me...I once was putting my uniform on in the dark while in the field. The same one that I'd been wearing through two weeks of Georgia summer misery already. Half awake and with my pants half on I felt something bite my thigh, then another couple bites. I turned a flashlight on and the crotch of my uniform was loving boiling with fire ants. Turns out they're a fan of ball-sweat and grime. That was at work and a pretty horrible thing to see (although I got away with only a dozen bites or so, and not a nub ding dong).

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