What's the worst thing you've ever witnessed in the workplace?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > What's the worst thing you've ever witnessed in the workplace?

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Assuming you have a job, and coworkers.

The worst thing I ever saw was my co-worker and boss having drunken sex in the women's bathroom at a Christmas party, which wouldn't have been super terrible except the boss' wife was at the party, and he was also very fat.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 02:55

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Qurnah posted:

A disturbed man smearing feces on the wall of his room and upon discovering me looking horrified in the doorway runs towards me with his arms outstretched screeching like a pig in agony covered in poop. I wish I was making this up, I really do.

Do you work at a hotel, or a hospital? I have friends who have worked at hotels that have the most horrifying stories about what they've discovered guests doing to/in their rooms.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:34

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

1gnoirents posted:

walking in on the GM loving this like 18 year old ugly, ugly, ugly girl who openly admitted enjoying loving her way to "the top". afaik she was never promoted lol

Haaaaa!

Why is it always the most absolutely horrendous looking people that like to flaunt their sex lives to everyone? I once worked at a bookstore with a girl who looked like a female Mr. Burns and she was somehow always getting laid and telling all the other employees wether we wanted to hear about it or not.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:36

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

symbolic posted:

back when i worked at a pool concessions stand, one of the preppy lifeguards came in on her break and gulped down a hot dog. then she started choking on it. my coworker did the Heimlich immediately and she was just a bit shaken up afterwards, but that was pretty terrifying

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:40

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Sheep-Goats posted:

hosed up goblin face

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:53

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Hogge Wild posted:

i walked past a mirror, op

Are you okay?

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:54

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Angry Birds Suicide posted:

That's terrible op. Anyways mine is probably the time I watched a girl get gunned down and die as I was giving her CPR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ_R-G_i4Xk

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 21:56

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

criscodisco posted:

I spent years in a pediatric trauma center, so lots.

Had a15 year old who was in the bed of a truck when it got hit by a train. They found his leg at the scene, and the rest of him a quarter mile down the tracks. Had a baby that was raped to death.

Also a baby that got microwaved. I know that's an old urban legend, but it happened in Dayton around a decade ago. When we went to do chest compressions it's chest split open like an overcooked chicken.

Holy poo poo you guys, I meant worst as in funniest. This is traumatic.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 22:09

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Drunk Nerds posted:

Look, if you didn't want to be the conduit to horror, why are you having Lowtax's baby?

Listen man, I....

I will think about that question and get back to you.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 05:00

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Flavahbeast posted:

your posting OP

Oh gently caress, did I just get owned on the internet?

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 20:45

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Bacon Hat posted:

keep your goddamn work stories out of the work stories thread, weirdo

Yeah, I'm not exactly understanding this probation. Ease up, Spider Dude!

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 20:53

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

revmoo posted:

Awesome. I was worried we wouldn't have any more bitchmade moderation around here after Ralp's departure.

Yeah, I don't think it's going to last long.

LadyAmbien fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Nov 17, 2015

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 20:57

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

El Spider posted:

I'm hoping that he just happened to make a post that was in very poor taste, because I retracted a ban I had queued after people vouched for him. I'm looking into it unless people want to dig through his posts for me and convince me he probably wasn't being ironic

I think the point being made here is that wether it's real or not, (who knows), and wether you agree with what happened or not, (I know I don't condone inhumanely slaughtering a pig), you probably shouldn't be banning or really even probating people based on it. People say a lot of hosed up things on the forums, and some of it is distasteful and offensive, but banning someone for contributing to a thread in a relevant (albeit disturbing) way is counterproductive to the community. Of course this doesn't stand for obvious things like racism, pedophilia, blahblahblah, but as far as being something subjective as an event happening that you don't like, it's a slippery slope.

I think modding on GBS is probably one of the most challenging positions on the site because it's really hard to figure out where to draw the line, so it's good to read that you're looking into his posts and not pulling the trigger without some thought.

LadyAmbien fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Nov 18, 2015

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 05:21

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

trying to jack off posted:

once there was a gbs thread where people earnestly talked about stomping on baby birds and other stuff like that and it would be nice if gbs didnt go back to posts liek that because it drove a lot of good posters away for a long time

That's definitely a good point. I wouldn't like to see that either. Especially if it's an entire thread glorifying animal cruelty, and like I said, modding GBS has to be one of the most challenging positions on the site because a lot of the time you'd have to make a call that isn't always based on your morality meter. I certainly couldn't do it.

As a side note, I find it interesting that there was a thread here a few months ago talking about what pieces of poo poo Pitbulls are and how they should die, and nobody did a thing about that. I rescue dogs and own two of my own Pits, and that had my blood boiling to the point where I almost asked Rich to gas the thread. But, I didn't. Because again, just because I don't like it, or agree with it doesn't make it Gas Chamber-worthy.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 05:41

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Drunk Nerds posted:

Wanna see Lady Ambien get banned because new mod doesn't know who she is.

I'm honestly awaiting it. I paid for my account, and had to pay to re-reg when I hosed up and used an ATTENTION tag when making a stupid first post. I think at this point I'd probably deserve it, I shouldn't have to play by different rules. I WILL MISS YOU ALL.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 05:46

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Roro posted:

I work in a veterinary practice as a student vet nurse/ANA, and we had a cat brought in with a huge facial abscess. It was all scabby and gross, and when my boss was picking at the scab trying to safely open it to drain the fluid, the scab came off in one fell swoop and pus just flowed out of the cat's face. It smelt like hemorrhagic diarrhea.

But that was not the worst part.

My boss, after cleaning out this gaping hole, told me we'd be having a look at the cat's teeth, because the abscess was likely caused by dental problems. We open up its mouth and there's plaque everywhere. Very smelly, very gross (fun fact, veterinary dental nurses are pretty well paid because dental work is loving disgusting). We complain about it for a couple of minutes, then my boss tries to pick a bit of plaque off with her fingers to see if it was going to be an easy clean.

The entire upper jaw, from canine to premolars, just came out. The bones had rotted away, causing the abscess and utterly destroying the cat's jaw. The only thing keeping the eyeball in was the zygomatic arch, which was as far as we could tell undamaged.

The owner did not request euthanasia immediately, because the other side of the mouth was intact, and there was no immediate risk of the eye falling out. The cat was reasonably happy too, and despite our horror, my boss just gave the best palliative care she could short of drawing up the blue juice.

Two weeks later, we were finally able to euthanise it.

I have smelt parvo as the dog affected leaked its foul brown poo poo all over a kennel, I have had pyometra juice squirted all over my scrubs and almost across my face, I had my hand swell up like a balloon after a cat bit my wrist right at the joint and it got infected. But that cat's mouth was the worst loving thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's just called the dead dog freezer, dude.

I'm convinced vet techs do not get paid enough money. Every story I've ever heard or read from one has been either horrifying or emotionally scarring.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2015 18:51

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Modest Mauser posted:

I had to have a long talking to with one of my employees about showering and he was like "oh, I never really thought it was a problem".

Well I have to light candles every time you walk by my office because you smell like sweat and balls so...

This just makes me think of that MTV special 'Fat Camp', when the girls in one cabin kept telling a horrible girl named Diane to take a shower. Then later that evening she flips poo poo and gets naked in front of them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLsyEC5epuU

# ¿ Nov 22, 2015 00:36

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Crazyeyes posted:

Boss told me about a guy who spilled HF on his pants. He jumped immediately into a swimming pool, but HF doesn't really nuetralize with water so it didn't do a whole lot. Ended up needing both his legs amputated and, if I recall, ended up dying of complete nervous system failure. Don't gently caress with HF, kids.

Holy moly, that is brutal.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 01:32

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 02:55

LadyAmbien: Oct 22, 2015

Molentik posted:

I worked a few summers at a ecological pig farm, meaning they had space outside to chill in the mud etc. Once I found a pig outside that died a few days prior in 40C heat. He was laying directly under a window of the stable so I didn't see him when I looked outside , I only noticed something was wrong when this other pig came walking into the stable covered in blood and dragging a good few meters of guts behind him. He looked so happy

Another time a pig died in the mudpool outside The rest of the pigs made that mudpool some unholy cesspool filled with bits of pig, poo poo, mud and whatever the gently caress. Cleaning that mess up was loads of fun, especially having to chase away the 400+ kilo boar that was claiming the goodies with nothing more than a small wooden board to keep between his tusks and myself. That fucker had something against me anyway because I had to mark the sows he hosed with a spraycan, often while he was still in the act. More than once he launched me a good few meters, angry pigs are FAST!

We also had a pig that had some kind of infection on its knee with an abscess the size of a baseball and when I had to rub some salve on it it burst, spraying this yellow/green goo with bloody chunks all over my face. I threw up and some other pig ate my vomit. Rule 101 on working with pigs; always keep your mouth closed.

Worst was when the farmer was away and this sow was in labor, but had a stillborn piglet stuck inside her. Because I was all alone on the farm I had the farmer on the phone in one hand and my other hand up to the elbow in this pig. When I finally found the stuck piglet it disintegrated and I had to scoop bits of mushy dead piglet out of a pigs oval office.

Waking up each day and first thing you do is scooping up blueish grey afterbirths from 20+ pigs before breakfast was fun too. Very particular smell. Needless to say from that moment on I started to skip breakfast because the smell would hang in your nose and make the breakfast taste faintly afterbirthy, and that is not a good taste.

Another job I had was at an animal shelter. Once I had to collect two cats from this hoarder house where the dude had recently died. Remember that 'I spy with my hoarder eye' thread from a while back? Now add two frightened half wild cats you have to catch and you've got the picture. I dont know what I touched or stepped in while doing that, but the shower after I came home was the most thorough shower I ever took. The rest of the shelter stuff was pretty tame, just the occasional starved or tick ridden cat/dog, except for this one baby hedgehog where I spend the whole day picking maggots and fly eggs between its spines with a tweezer. The maggots eat their way into the hedgehog because they can't clean themselves and they die. Don't GIS Myiasis!

Almost forgot. I had another job cleaning up buildings etc after fires. Having to clean a stable of 2000 dead pigs in the summer heat with two guys and a pressure hose was horrible, especially because the stable had asbestos in it so we had to wear full protection clothing/mask/etc...

tl;dr Working with animals is fun!

I,...I just...

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 19:43

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