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i used to be a spy before i got my last job - like real field ops, license to kill and all that hullabaloo. anyways i didnt quit the spy gig through all the proper channels, just "went dark" as we say in the biz (or used to say i guess haha). so after laying low for a few months i fudge some credentials and talk my way into this cushy job in corporate finance, trying to take my life in another direction and just live in peace and quiet fast forward a couple years and ive fallen completely in love with this sexy vp (cliche i kno lol). weve been dating for a while and i want to take the plunge so i come up with this bi g elaborate proposal. all the ladies in the office are on pins and needles waiting for me to pop the question, fat carol even ordered a cake to celebrate (like she needed an excuse lmao) so long story short i'm on one knee, big loving rock in the box and she's all speechless and teary eyed, about to say yes (at least i hope so rofl) when a big set of hands grabs either side of her head and spins her neck around like a goddamn pinwheel. ive seen enough death before to know shes gone before she hit the ground. look up and its this big chinese fucker (kinda like chong li from bloodsport) grinning at me. seen this guy before, big time spy hunter, really nice suit (guess the agency got a bigger budget since i left  ). so i realize yeah im probably in the wrong, not allowed to go dark and all that, blah blah blah, but im kinda pissed at him murdering the love of my life so we have this unreal karate fight. at one point i jumped off a wall and kicked him in the head, friggin sweet. anyways he gets me in this choke hold and i'm pretty sure im done for, but lucky i grab a letter opener and shank him a good 30-40 times.i turn around and everyones kinda standing there in shock. fat carol giving the cake the side-eye like "how long i gotta wait before i can nab a slice?". more blood than ive ever seen. i'm exhausted (and it's still only 2:30?? um can we go early today?? roflmoa) so i just shove past my coworkeers and get outta there, never come back. actually thats kind of a badass thing to witness in the workplace for everyone else but p bad for me
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Nov 16, 2015 22:01
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 02:56 |
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El Spider posted:ill take your word for it now that he isn't a hosed up weirdo im gonna run u outta town on a rail
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Nov 17, 2015 20:34
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