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Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge


Everyone wins in the AFC South. One team gets to go to the playoffs, the other three get a top 5 draft pick.

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Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

cheesetriangles posted:

Isn't the playoff team the real loser then?

Tanking for a good draft pick isn't unheard of. But an entire division committed to a race to the bottom? Only in AFC South :allears:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

computer parts posted:

So I haven't really been able to watch the Panthers this year, are they really a legit good team or is it them being relatively better than the competition? (Which to be fair might be enough to get to the Super Bowl in this year's NFC)

See, there's this guy called Cam Newton. He is Not A Fraud.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Raku posted:

the end of part 2 is the perfect metaphor for the eli manning superbowls

Peyton, your next line is "I'm retiring because my arms have turned to noodles."

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Parmesan Basil posted:

I hope I get a PS4 soon!

P5 is coming out on PS3 too. It's like, the last major game coming out on it.

I know this because I can't afford a PS4 :smith:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Christ Pseudoscientist posted:

Raiders can't play from behind. I hope every single draft pick is spent on a new secondary.

Seriously. The best Raiders secondary is Chuck Woodson. A man who was drafted in a year starting with a 1. The entire Raiders defense needs redone.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Panthers are Good and Cool and should beat the pats for the SB.

Jay Cutler could not give less of a poo poo unless he was playing in a stained wifebeater and sweatpants.

Dolphins are funnybad.

Falcons were robbed.

LOLEAGLES

And the Oakland Coliseum should fall into the loving Bay.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Kalli posted:

Luckily the rest of the AFC wildcard picture is.....

Bills, I guess? :shrug:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Raiders are going to finish 5-11, and it's entirely on the secondaries.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

aBagorn posted:

I have this really sinking feeling that the Eagles are Chip Kelly's version of Bellicheck's Browns

But Belichick didn't go back to college :confused:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Do you ever wonder "Wait, who's my team's backup for <position>" then have the moment of absolute terror when you find out?

Because I just found out the Raiders backup QB is Matt McGloin :stare:

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Ross Angeles posted:

Rivers isn't even showing emotion any more. He's just robotically walking to the sidelines :(

Dude just wants to go home and be with his legion of kids.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

So can the Raiders secondary be allowed to wear catchers mitts so they actually have a chance of stopping a pass occasionally?

I still can't believe the entire first quarter of that game. They let the loving Lions march up the field.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

NFL quarterback Andy Dalton is now 1-15 in prime time games.

I can't wait the reveal that Andy Dalton is actually twin brothers and the bad one always insists on playing in prime time.

He peels the name on his jersey off, revealing he's actually Ydna Notlad.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

9 is the best possible case, because there's nothing as bad as a team getting to go to the playoffs with a drawing or losing record.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

It was cool playing them. Big Ben completed 6 passes of over 40 yards in that game, and Deangelo Williams had 3 rushing TDs. They're like, a confidence builder. It wasn't a win you would walk away from thinking, "wow, my team is good" tho bc it was clear that the 9ers are really bad

The Niners: The Practice Girl of the NFL.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

timp posted:

Tom Joyce of the Mt. Airy News in Mt. Airy, NC: "Cam Newton – a winner who’s a loser"

How about THIS little pissbitch? Pretty ballsy to put his picture right next to these words like that

I want Cam to dab on this guy's front lawn.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge


As a fan of a team who started out bad, then got promising, then are back to being bad, :smith::respek::smith:

The Raiders, right now, are proving a good offense means nothing if you don't also have a good defense. There was a gap where it looked like we might make the playoffs as wildcard, now finishing 5-11 seems pretty likely.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

SlipUp posted:

It's like two tumblrites competing in the special oppression olympics but this time the head mates are birds and pirates.

I'm about to watch the Ravens have five consecutive blow out losses, can I compete too or is my playoff privilege still too strong?

Like 80% of your starters are effectively dead.

Your invite to the Pity Party is in the mail.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

The Definitive NFL 2015 Fraud Teams List: (In no particular order)

Bengals
Steelers
Packers
Vikings
Colts
Falcons
Panthers
Dolphins
Patriots
Jets
Cowboys
Giants
Eagles
Washington
Broncos
Chiefs
Cardinals
Seahawks
Rams

If your team is not on this list, congrats, you're not frauds, you're just bad. Although you can be both on this list and bad.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Intruder posted:

The Texans :colbert: 5-5 with wins over the Bengals and Jets while tied for the division lead makes them plenty qualified to be fraudulent

I didn't call Texans frauds because everyone knows they're being carried on the shoulders of The Other One True American Hero, JJ Watt.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

It's actually exceptionally easy to argue they were wrong, all you have to do is sit down at a computer with someone, type in nfl.com in your favorite web browser, and click on the standings tab, then shove the monitor at them like a pie in the face

Or just scream 5 words over and over. "They're the Atlanta loving Falcons".

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Joey Freshwater posted:

Technically it's their "sale" section but yeah. They're also selling Marc Barron jerseys

Still a few Darren McFadden Raiders jerseys too.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

NC-17 posted:

If they have to make a new rule to stop what you did then you didn't do anything wrong. :smug:

If you were really quiet when you submitted that post, you could hear the entire city of Oakland screaming "TUCK RULE"

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Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

sean10mm posted:

I think the Chargers are cool and good.

Well, not THIS roster, or coaching staff or management or stadium. But the idea of a California lightning bolt fun time team is good and should be left alone.

The CONCEPT of the Chargers is cool. Shame they can't seem to put it into practice.

I also won't totally hate it if the Raiders end up sharing a stadium with them. Because at least they're not the Rams.

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