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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013


I'll just leave this there. You're probably gonna need it...

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
DCK2 starts with DK in prison awaiting trial for his heinous war crimes, and Diddy and Dixie come along and bust him out to ensure he never has to face justice.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
It's a shame that Artix scrapped the video where we found the DK fanfiction wiki because of his dumb webcam mic. It happened about halfway through the recording and I don't think any of us could keep a straight face the rest of the video because every few minutes one of us would reference it again and we'd all lose it.

drat YOU MANHOLE ARTIX!!! :doom:

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Acne Rain posted:

oh so that's why there are no more kremlings or the kongs besides these four in the retro games, donkey kong wiped both of them out to end the Last Great Ape war by pushing a button. This also explains why all these random animals are mad at him instead of an organized effort, the Last Great Ape War affected them all negatively by tearing the fabric of Time and Apes



No More

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Blind Sally posted:

Spanish. Hernan Cortez is reported to have done this when his fleets landed in the Yucatan with the intent of conquering the Aztecs. Historians dispute whether or not they actually burned them or just tore them apart, but yeah, Cortez destroyed his boats. If anyone wanted to return home they would do so in Aztec ships.

(Reportedly, after Cortez gave the order one of his men laughed. Cortez stabbed the man with his sword. The rest of the men then proceeded to tear apart the ships while drunk on rum).

There's a mission in WarCraft III where you do this too. Only instead of a statement of faith or dedication like it was in Cortez's case, you do it because Arthas' army is on the verge of abandoning him because they've figured out what a flipping loonball he is, so he has all his ships burned to trap them on on Northrend so they have no choice but to follow him.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Acne Rain posted:

What I'm getting out of this video is that blind sally and geop need to do a vid together and just sling puns everywhere.

Geop won't return his phone calls.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

"What was that black goo?"

"CJacobs' vomit."

"...Oh. Okay."

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Artix posted:

To make a long story short, somewhere between the end of 13-2 and this LP Crow and I made a suicide pact - he would do White Knight Chronicles PSP and I would do DK64. He backed out almost immediately, and I got like...three worlds in before I ended up canning it. I was planning to do a glitch run of it but I haven't played the back half of the game in so long that I'm super rusty, and on top of that somewhere around Gloomy Galleon I realized there was no goddamn way to make it interesting so I killed it.

The other half of that story, the non-DK related part, is that White Knight Chronicles: Origins was also a dreadfully boring game that I couldn't make interesting either if I LP'd it. It held its story hostage behind mountains of tedious repetitive missions, and even then, the story was a boring non-starter that wasn't even rizzable like the PS3 games' ones were because nothing happened in it.

I never even finished playing through it for the sake of getting my bearings in preparation for LPing it. It was just painful.


Though in regard to the failed DKC64 LP itself:

  • Serial killer llama
  • Funky Kong is a paramilitary arms dealer now
  • DK Island's economy has gone to poo poo
  • Cranky's turning the Kongs into the X-Men
  • Oh yeah, Cranky's thing in this game is illegal genetic experimentation
  • Dixie asked for too much money so Rare replaced her with Tiny Kong
  • Candy Kong wants to gently caress everyone who visits her shop and has disturbingly realistic boobs
  • There are only. Four. Playable. Kongs.
  • :colbert:
  • I'm pretty sure that giant crocodile is mildly retarded
  • DK has a sawed off shotgun and hand grenades made of oranges
  • OOOOH BANANA

There. You're all caught up.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Feb 3, 2016

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013


Oh poo poo, DK's hosed now.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

ChaosArgate posted:

I recorded World 8 blind

:allears:





what?

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Acne Rain posted:

the gently caress is happening with the enemy design this game
did one two many industrial levels mutate the wildlife? Oh wait, we're treating this as a prequel. So BEFORE dk became ruler the wildlife was bizarre monstrosities or something.

This is the beginning of DK's Purge of the jungle. Suffer not the mutant to live.

INSIDER INFO, COOL KIDS ONLY: This is actually where the "DK is a war criminal" meme came from. It was kicked around in one form or another among our LP group before, but it really crystallized during FP's Jungle Beat stream.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Feb 29, 2016

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Grapplejack posted:

Oh I know, I mean the bongo controller itself. That fucker is obscenely loud and it kinda takes away from the game since it drowns out everything else when you're hitting it.

You should have heard the live stream he did of JB. It was basically a nonstop CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK :suicide:

Thank god for audio editing.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
Well, now that Tropical Freeze is over, it's time for that :siren::siren:THREAD POLL:siren::siren: I promised.

Each and every vote gets a free forums upgrade package worth :20bux: paid for by Blind Sally.


Vote early and vote often.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Blaze Dragon posted:

Old man who mentored the monkey hero at one point, and, after several years of not doing anything, out of nowhere joins in battle and proves to be surprisingly and unrealistically competent. Cranky is undeniably Master Roshi. Can't wait for Resurrection "K".

Also the idea of DK having a Flying Nimbus actually irks me. Those only let people pure of heart ride them, and DK is an absolute monster with no regards to any sort of life, who will gladly murder friend and foe alike for his goals of domination and bananas.

Okay, I admit defeat, Cranky really is more Roshi than King Kai.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013


And at the end of the first day of polling, DK has eked out a narrow lead over shooting Scolar Visari in the face with first Goku coming in a distant third. Nobody seems to like third Goku, though I've been informed by Novel that third Goku is actually Dragon Ball GT Goku, so that would explain a few things...

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Bellmaker posted:

That rat is horrifying :gonk:

That EVERYTHING is horrifying :stonk:

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013


So, did DK return the wayward daughter of King Osric to her home. And having no further concern, he and his companions sought adventure in the West. Many wars and feuds did DK fight. Honor and fear were heaped upon his name and, in time, he became a king by his own hand. And this story shall also be told.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
Oh, hey, maybe we can salvage the audio from the aborted DK64 run and have an alternate commentary run.


Also, Tyty no. please stop

the thread is sick of dong

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Blind Sally posted:

yes

doin' an lp of one was rough because a lot of people weren't keen on the graphics

Of course the caveats to that are, yeah, N64/non-HD console source capture looks like poo poo across the board, but I also stretched the footage to cover up the black space in the raw footage, so the quality took another hit, and we had no idea what the hell we were doing back then.

If we re-did SotE today, it would look a lot better.


tl;dr: If you can't capture it from an emulator, non-HD video is always gonna look like poo poo.

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