Thread for making fun of people with the wrong type of hiking gear

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Thread for making fun of people with the wrong type of hiking gear

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Anything cotton anywhere other than a desert.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 22:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

My $10 Wal-Mart runners will be just fine for scrambling

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 23:09

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Everything Muerte did for his Hike Across America

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 23:52

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Drunkboxer posted:

Anyone who needs anything more than street clothes for a hike less than 15 miles is a loving pussy

Enjoy your ball chafe

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 10:34

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Levitate posted:

Dude started hiking in pt. Reyes nat sea shore, complained how hard the hills were, made it 20 miles in like 4 days and then quit

Perhaps if he ate more than a handful of raisins he would have made it at least a few miles farther.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 02:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I think he was planning on eating at Denny's all the time, yeah

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 02:53

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Lotka Volterra posted:

Once hiked a 14er in tennis shoes, come at me

Whenever I see pics of 14ers they always just look like really really big hills.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 03:08

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Slim Pickens posted:

It's cool bro, they got a tether

At least the board will be returned to the beach with their body after they fall off and hit their head on a rock and drown. Those things are pricey.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 09:37

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Ultralight owns and I will fight you, gibbon man

# ¿ Mar 11, 2016 08:07

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

A lot of those goats are ridiculously poorly packed. It's almost cruel. At least try to make it comfortable for them goddamn

# ¿ Mar 18, 2016 15:29

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I would legit be embarrassed to even be seen with that kind of lovely packing job. How lazy can you possibly be.

Also animals are objectively better than people so I would rather go hiking with a goat than some weirdo person. Least I could do is pack like a not-idiot.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2016 00:22

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

meselfs posted:

Can't help but wonder if that's Picnic's great grandmother.

No one else in my family has ever been outdoorsy at all. I'm a lone wolf.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 05:41

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Zip off legs on hiking pants are the greatest thing ever. I use them as work pants too since our uniform can be either or so if the day starts out warm but then snows I'll always be prepared. They're one of my favourite things ever.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 04:01

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Epitope posted:

Source your quotes

Not a work pic, hopefully it's sufficient

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 08:37

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I've seen giant red ticks, those big-rear end mosquitos with the stripey elgs in swarms, and wolf spiders the size of large coins on summits, we got bugs up here

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 19:33

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

There's a tailless squirrel that lives near my work and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

His name is Buddy.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 07:29

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Yeah I'm going to stick with my grizzlies wolves and cougars, we don't get bugs like that here.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2016 19:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

That movie was filmed in my backyard. I was probably in that same spot at some point. That's my claim to fame.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 07:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

WAR DOGS OF SOCHI posted:

I'm legit jealous. Beautiful country right there.

It can be distracting while watching a movie because you're getting into it then all of a sudden you know they're in a field in friggin Canmore. Immersion ruined.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 21:23

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

This thread is pretty much derailed at this point, but it works because we're having interesting commentary about various outdoor related things so I'm cool with your post.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 09:13

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

We have some paved paths and boardwalks built in the Rockies and they help people with mobility issues get outside, and I believe everyone should get outside so I'm cool with it. We have trails you can take people in wheelchairs and things like that on. There's a big initiative with the local provincial parks to develop some spaces for people with things like cerebral palsy and other severe disabilities to get out and enjoy the forest by developing a few accessible trails. I took my friend and her baby with stroller on one a couple weeks ago, it was awesome.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 02:54

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

The only way to be is completely serious and completely self-depreciating at the same time.

# ¿ May 8, 2016 10:44

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

meselfs posted:

Those aren't for hiking! Those are for wearing in the city when you go to the coffee shop across the street from the yoga pants boutique that has sterile outdoor scenes plastered on the wall.

Recently there was this guy skiing uphill in freezing weather with snow coming down in only a cotton t shirt and jeans amongst all the downhill goers clad in down. Then, after a 2000ft ascent, he put on a windbreak and tried to ski back down, tumbling as this was his first skiing experiment. That guy was me

Haha I am totally the asshat in a t-shirt on winter days but that's because I radiate a poo poo ton of heat when I'm physically active. I don't even do my coat up when I go outside until it's -20 or else I roast to death.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 07:24

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

meselfs posted:

Ha, you too!? Wait, you're making fun of me. Wait, which thread am I in?

I am totally not making fun of you. It was -25c today and I still didn't do my coat up.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 02:05

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Guest2553 posted:

I heat up quickly and have to really pay attention to temperature regulation as well. One time at Ranier I overheard a couple people call me a show-off douchebag for stripping down to a sleeveless tee after a high intensity burst

Hey man, know that you have a soulmate in me. I hike in a t-shirt when there's snow on the ground and sometimes take handfulls of snow to rub on my face and neck from overheating too much.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 12:01

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

OMGVBFLOL posted:

yeah the alternative to paving stones / asphalt paths in places with that heavy of foot traffic is "muddy, torn-up trail that gets washed out every winter and stays closed all spring"

And then people don't want to walk in a muddy rut 6" deep so they create a new path beside it and eventually you end up with a braided mud slop trail 20 feet wide.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 04:22

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

my bitter bi rival posted:

you guys like to get worked up about this stuff huh?

It's fun to make jokes about it, yes.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 03:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

# ¿ May 5, 2017 20:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Thread for making fun of people with the wrong type of hiking gear