quote:

But the idea behind the hashtag was even better than that: Women were banding together to demand payment for all the emotional work we do that goes completely unpaid—the exhausting work of being a tolerant, gentle, nurturing, listening woman in our relationships with men, at all times. Women put up with a lot of bullshit, and we have a science-backed term for it: Emotional labor. And as with any kind of labor, women are now ready and eager to get paid.

Lauren Elk posted:

Honestly, it's been overwhelmingly white women who've been upset about the hashtag. Women of color have been rejoicing in song over this whole movement. It has been overlooked by mainly white women who've been like, "This is ridiculous and giving feminism a bad name, what do you think you're doing." It's been interesting to see the racial divide.

Lauren Elk posted:

Emotional labor—the amount of things that women have to do, acting as the therapist to men; absorbing everything that comes out of them with a happy face; swallowing our feelings to not make things more complicated; learning that if we do start voicing displeasure, that's probably not going to get a positive response; always having to be happy and peppy and taking care of their feelings and their outbursts—whether that's in a work environment, relationship, or friendship, it's a lot of work to just put up with what's dealt out. I think there are lots of overlaps between emotional labor and abuse, having to navigate [around men], having to dance around their hotspots, dance around what they're going to be laying out on you. It's a ton of work. It is wearing and draining.

And god forbid you say something to them that is trying to put them in check. That's also work, having to [tell them off] or hold it in.

Lauren Elk posted:

There might be these individual instances [of men performing great feats of emotional labor], but that's not the structure we live under. We live under a heteropatriarchal structure, which is why we call this a gender-based violence. We live in a male-dominated world, and that's part of why there is so much interpersonal violence and why the overwhelming perpetrators are men. These individual instances happen, but I'm not really worried about that. There's this thing called male privilege. That's what I'm more worried about. Also, who has all of the loving wealth? Who has all of the power? Oh my god, one time you had to deal with a woman's emotional outburst, poor you.

Lauren Elk posted:

Acting as a therapist to men. Putting on a perky face for that. Having to be a yes person, always saying "Oh yes," and "You're so right," and "So great." Absorbing whatever kinds of outbursts they have—it's mostly always anger—and having a happy face on and nodding. Emotional labor is also hiding your feelings, not challenging, not voicing your displeasure for whatever reason, just keeping things inside. That's a lot of work, to swallow your feelings in fear, like If I voice this, things are going to get really bad for me in this environment. It wears down your self-esteem, your sense of self, your confidence, all sense of your being! This is heavy! It's heavy to do this and have to do this all of the time.

Lauren Elk posted:

I go on Twitter enough to know that men are very angry. Very, very angry.

Professor Shark posted:

Demonachizer posted:

I feel like normal rational people will still exist and be happy and also remain completely indifferent to the poo poo that article is talking about. Like if you don't read the internet and have a job you love, a family you enjoy, and a life, whether or not 2015 was the year of "male tears" is probably not even on your radar.

EDIT:

It is like if you made a website that talked about how oatmeal is the greatest food and posted about it all the time there, linked oatmeal related news, read posts from others that 100% agree that oatmeal is the best, etc. you might think that the whole world cares about oatmeal and agrees with you.

Frosted Flake posted:

We Spoke to Lauren Chief Elk, the Woman Behind #GiveYourMoneytoWomen, About the Power of Cold Hard Cash

Professor Shark posted:

I know that's a lot of words for GBS, but I think it's funny that this very messed up woman is assuming her broken self applies for all women.

Calico Heart posted:

uh no!!! not a flavour of the week that will affect nothing!!!!!!!

Roy posted:

Guys, I do a lot of emotional labour on GBS so please pay me, my pateron is

Frosted Flake posted:

Blazing Ownager posted:

Dude this generation is so hosed, to be honest. This poo poo isn't just on the internet. I wish it was.

Don Tacorleone posted:

I'm a literal work of art

Frosted Flake posted:

gagelion2 posted:

4th from the bottom is hilarious and pretty obviously how all of this is going to play out. one day in the not too distant future women will all start eating each other based on who is black, disabled, mentally ill, what the gently caress ever and everyone will die

quote:

Of course, I don’t really want to make a living giving men false hope. But what if I wanted to make a living yelling at them about why their false hope is dumb?

This is a thing I do frequently now for free. Somehow, despite increasingly noisy misandry, I have amassed a small cadre of men who think I’m a good person to confide in. These are friends and partners, so it goes without saying that they are generally not confiding hosed-up attitudes about women, but they’re also straight men with feelings; consequently, I’ve seen my share of “how do I make her fall back in love with me,” “how do I make her regret rejecting me,” “how do I change her mind.”

quote:

If we wanted to charge someone else money for these services, it would not be considered absurd. But emotional labor? Offering advice, listening to woes, dispensing care and attention? That’s not supposed to be transactional. People are disturbed by the very notion that someone would charge, or pay, for friendly support. It’s supposed to come free. Why?

quote:

It was beautiful to watch #GiveYourMoneyToWomen unfold. Men got angry, and then women explained to them that to have their anger acknowledged, they would have to pay. This made them angrier, of course, but without a donation, who was listening? Even now, when you Google the hashtag, nearly the whole first results page consists of furious MRAs. (I didn’t click through, though. Who exactly was going to make it worth my while?)

quote:

Enough of that. We don’t necessarily need to insist that men just give us their money – though you should, if that works for you, and write down what they say because I bet it’ll be funny. But we absolutely get to recognize that the constant labor of placating men and navigating patriarchal expectations is exhausting because it’s work. ( Incidentally, women of color should probably be getting recompense from men and white women; emotionally pampering white people while living within white supremacist culture is just as much of an effort if not more, and they’re doing both.)

DenizenKane posted:

Seriously has this bitch not spent time with other women? If listening to people piss and moan was paid work the fellas would be rolling in that poo poo.

Frosted Flake posted:

"Where’s My Cut?”: On Unpaid Emotional Labor







http://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/

ArbitraryC posted:

This was honestly my first thought, its way more socially acceptable for women to dump their emotional baggage on everyone around them than men. If anything a common thing with guys is that they don't open up to anyone to an unhealthy extent. We're raised from a young age to walk everything off and suck it up, girls were the ones taught to talk through their issues with friends/family.

That said this whole thing is largely an ignorable nonissue, plenty of women out there who think that poo poo is dumb too. If you're not a college student right now this stuff should have zero impact on your life.

Frosted Flake posted:

"Where’s My Cut?”: On Unpaid Emotional Labor







http://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/

Demonachizer posted:

I feel like normal rational people will still exist and be happy and also remain completely indifferent to the poo poo that article is talking about. Like if you don't read the internet and have a job you love, a family you enjoy, and a life, whether or not 2015 was the year of "male tears" is probably not even on your radar.

Totalizator posted:

So wait, if we don't pay her, she will shut up and go away?

Skeleton Ape posted:

People born in the 90s and all their rules are very confusing to me, I'm just going to continue to be a normal decent person if that's ok.