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yo man i'm gonna lay this quote on you real quick and see if you vibe with it, "You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else"
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Jan 3, 2016 07:37
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Okay so but, in all seriousness, I'm not really sure what the objective of this piece is. It reads like a frustrated blog article about millennials  Best I can suss out, there's something here about embracing the regret we accrue with our meaningless contemporary hobbies and passtimes and youtubes, or something? I'm not actually sure. It feels a bit nihilistic and scattered. I could probably be more helpful if you could tell us concisely what you are wanting to convey.
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Jan 3, 2016 08:05
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Dorkopotamis posted:I am also concerned that the the writing might seem heavy handed or moralistic and I'm feeling like it might be both. I think you are onto something. This piece has issues with clarity because lots of your sentences are these kind of big, declarative statements. The world works X way, people do X thing for Y reason. Etcetera. It's a while before regret really comes into focus, and only a small part of this essay is actually dedicated to how one lives a life hinged on regret. quote:What I am hoping to ideally leave the reader with is "This was a fun and interesting thing about someone wanting me to live life in an impractical way. I have just enough information to glean that, whatever beliefs this person might have, they arrived at them in a way that follows an internal logic." I think you should focus more on the "how to" aspect. This would feel more convincing if it was less manifesto and more, like, "here's how to live life in this impractical way." You can weave the hypothetical writer's rational into that. It should really feel more persuasive than soapboxy, if that makes sense.
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Jan 3, 2016 10:13
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