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Sheep
Jul 24, 2003

Tequila Sunrise posted:

Hey guys I have some questions maybe you can help me with.

I met my wife in Japan 2 years ago while I was over there teaching English for a semester. I'm now 32, she's 22. We started dating, got engaged, married, and she came over to the US via the K1 visa program about 5 months ago.

There are several issues that have come up since we got married and moved in together. I'm hoping for some goon advice from others in relationships, even if they're not exactly like this. Keep in mind she has been in the US officially for about 5 months. I understand there is a huge cultural change and learning curve, but some of this is crazy.

1) She still hasn't learned to drive. But not through lack of trying. She has extremely bad nerves, and every time she even gets in the driver's seat she freaks out and starts shaking and sweating. We tried parallel parking once and she just floored it while the E-brake was still on. I had to physically pull her foot off the pedal. We try driving at least half an hour a day and she's gotten no more comfortable with it.

2) Her English is pretty good, but she still prefers speaking Japanese all the time. My Japanese is alright, but I don't catch everything, especially slang and things like that. Many times after an argument she'll run into the bedroom, lock the door, and start yelling things at me in Japanese that I don't understand.

3) We are having some money issues - mostly tied to the fact that I'm the only one working. I'm a substitute teacher, and work is spotty at best. I also do work as a landscaper but it's winter so there's nothing going on. So finances are TIGHT right now. We've looked for work she can do from home until the driving situation is fixed, but most of it needs a way better understanding of English.

4) We still haven't consummated our marriage. The most she's willing to do is some stuff with her feet, no actual intercourse. This is a nerves thing again.

You were half-convincing until the end. 4/10 better luck next time.

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Sheep
Jul 24, 2003
You probably (hopefully?) already know this, but health insurance payments are based on the previous year's income, so your first year in Japan it's dirt cheap. After that it becomes a fair bit more expensive.

There is also the obvious issue that if you stop working for whatever reason you have to keep paying like you are still making your old salary until June rolls around and they recalculate things.

Sheep fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Mar 5, 2016

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003
We can go through American customs and immigrations in Vancouver when transiting through Vancouver with a final destination in the US, so technically Vancouver sorta is America.

Just one step closer to righting the wrongs of 1781.

Sheep fucked around with this message at 14:34 on Mar 15, 2016

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003
That's likely because you're confusing working with the appearance of actually working, a common mistake. Japan has the worst GDP generated:hours worked ratio of the G7 nations for a reason.

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003

totalnewbie posted:

Do listed salaries include bonuses? Because if not then the pay would seem especially low.

Of course they do, just sign here ___________.

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003

The Great Autismo! posted:

Yo, question for goons who are married to a Japanese national and then returned back to their home country, ideally asking people from the United States. My wife and I are starting the process here pretty shortly, and we want to do it from Japan. Do you all remember if the process limited the travel of the spouse during the time? Like will the American embassy have my wife's passport, making her unable to leave the country? There's a decent amount of information out there about what exactly we have to do, but I'm having trouble finding if my wife will be unable to leave Japan while the process is going on. It doesn't really matter one way or another to us, it will just dictate how much longer I'll be at my job, and how much more time I can spend in Japan. I'm kinda hoping she can't leave Japan during the process, because that's like another half year that I'll get to chill in Japan, and that is cool and good, IMO.

If you have any detailed questions feel free to PM me or ask in the immigration thread in Ask/Tell, but I've gone through this process and can hopefully remember the important stuff. Anyways to answer your question, you only hand over the passport at the final interview after your petition has been approved by USCIS, forwarded to the NVC, and you've gotten your third notice of action and filled out the attached boatload of forms they give you with that that need to be submitted to the NVC/embassy. So yes they'll have the passport but in our case it was some irrelevant amount of time that didn't matter like a month or two out of the ~eight month process.

Some stuff worth mentioning: it is possible to fly in on ESTA/VWP and then file for adjustment of status, but there are a bunch of caveats (your spouse can still be removed from the country even though you've filed I-485, for example). It's honestly a lot easier to just do the entire process from Japan if you can, that way as soon as your spouse crosses the border they're a permanent resident and you're basically done. Whatever you do I would strongly discourage you from attempting to visit America during the process since that'll throw tons of red flags up to USCIS. Also don't be one of those idiots who wastes money on an immigration lawyer. The process is dead easy for spouses & immediate relatives of citizens if either of you can read English at a high school level and your spouse hasn't been previously deported.

Edit: you should be following this.

Sheep fucked around with this message at 04:40 on Sep 16, 2016

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003

The Great Autismo! posted:

Thank you for this. We are going to Hawaii in early December and then may make a trip the continental States, may not. She has an ESTA right now, but we want to get the process started early next year and have no plans to enter the United States during the entire process. We will be in either China or Japan at least until next fall/when the process is finished.

You'll want to remain in the country where you applied until granted a visa since that's whose local consulate and hospital you will be dealing with for the medical. Not sure how it'd work applying from Japan and then moving to China mid-process but sounds like a massive headache and 110% not something I'd want to deal with.

Sheep
Jul 24, 2003
Apply and do the process from your current country of residence, don't overcomplicate things by trying to do it in a third country. The fact that your spouse is Japanese doesn't mean you need to include Japan in the equation at all aside from maybe grabbing a copy of their koseki.

Anyways this is one hell of a derail so if you want to talk more about this I'd recommend using the US immigration thread in A/T.

Edit: vvvv And under what SOR are you going to be in Japan? Spouse of a citizen? Similarly to America you have to show that someone earns enough money to support you in order to immigrate if you don't have a certificate of eligibility yourself. They've been cracking down on the chain-tourist visa situation for over a decade now so hopefully you aren't planning to go that route.

Sheep fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Sep 16, 2016

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Sheep
Jul 24, 2003
Japan is pretty good about rotating dishes with the weather. Winter is gonna be nabe/oden/etc., summer is gonna see lots of mugicha and hiyashi chuka or whatever. I'd pick the location more for what I wanted to see because the food is probably going to be alright no matter where you end up, Japan is cool about that.

Sheep fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Oct 31, 2016

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