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 It's the final season of American Idol. What have we learned? - Ryan Seacrest is. What have we not learned? - How to not watch American Idol So as this once-almighty empire finally crumbles under the weight of its own hubris (and horrible ratings), we tune in for the most consistently boring judges panel in the history of the show with a talent pool that The Voice wouldn't give a fair shake. I guess the show starts tonight and I'm sure that tens of you will be tuning in for the start of auditions, which in recent years have been improved thanks to shifting focus away from the gimmicks and trainwrecks. I haven't read anything about how the format is going to play out this year because I don't give a poo poo and it's going to be a boring season-long victory lap that they don't deserve based on the last 5-7 seasons. I'm sitting here trying to remember the name of the winner of last season and I'm not having any luck. Matt something? Oh okay Nick Fradiani. His winner's single sold 50k upon release and everyone forgot about him. So people sing and then go to Hollywood week if they're marketable enough and then they sing live. Just like last year we're getting only one live show per week with results at the top of the hour. Hopefully at least one contestant is good this season. Whatever after this it's all over and I never have to watch Idol again. I already stopped watching The Voice. So yeah use this thread for your Idol memories, the 5 posters who show up for these threads. Oh wait that includes me! Awesome. Here's the best one in my photobucket.  Pray for Michael Slezak y'all.
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Jan 6, 2016 09:36
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I've yet to watch the episode, having gotten to the part where hopefuls sing at Lee DeWyze and there are just too many ironic looks of "what am I doing with my life" from both judge and hopeful, and finding myself unable to continue. I'm glad you are back SHUPS, thanks for making GBS threads on the S15 thread I had made to pull you back in like Michael "Slezak" Corleone
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Jan 8, 2016 00:44
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shadow puppet of a posted:I'm glad you are back SHUPS, thanks for making GBS threads on the S15 thread I had made to pull you back in like Michael "Slezak" Corleone I swear I didn't see that thread at all. Now I feel bad.
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Jan 8, 2016 01:08
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SHUPS 4 DETH posted:I swear I didn't see that thread at all. Now I feel bad. All is forgiven if you'll tell me that you too got a shiver down your spine when that faux old-soul deep voiced country guy reminded you of S11's faux old-soul deep voice country guy Richie "Cowboy" Law. 
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Jan 8, 2016 01:20
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Me and MAH WAAAHF simultaneously broke into "Babylockthemdoors", is that close enough?
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Jan 8, 2016 01:33
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Ugh, that probably means Johnny Debitcard is going through to the finals, isn't he?
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Jan 8, 2016 01:37
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So what the hell was up with Jax's elimination last season? We may never know. But! She just put out a music video about her experience and it's pretty good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R4T0Nc4jig
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Jan 8, 2016 05:21
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Hey I haven't watched any of this season yet and I probably won't but I know the dude with the baby, Jordan Sasser, got through. I knew him a little while ago, we were good friends, until, and I'm guessing they probably didn't get into this on the episode, his anti-LGBTQ views just got very overwhelming and hateful! Great singer, though.
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Jan 8, 2016 12:02
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All three judges and Seacrest are really obviously live-shows-drunk and completely off the rails. It's entertaining but goddamn they need to slow their roll. Also the only two who stood out for me as legit contenders are Eyebrows McIndia and Lady Cop. Can you tell I don't take notes during Auditions? AnonymousNarcotics posted:So what the hell was up with Jax's elimination last season? We may never know. Grade A bullshit and then her mic pack failed during the finale. I can't immediately think of a contestant who got poo poo on more during their season without merit. Especially given that she absolutely should have won since she was the only interesting Idol last year. Clark Whothefuckever should have gotten her treatment and I will never understand how he made the finale since he was a total heel by the end and had absolutely zero chance of winning. Conrad_Birdie posted:Hey I haven't watched any of this season yet and I probably won't but I know the dude with the baby, Jordan Sasser, got through. I knew him a little while ago, we were good friends, until, and I'm guessing they probably didn't get into this on the episode, his anti-LGBTQ views just got very overwhelming and hateful! Oh gently caress
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Jan 8, 2016 20:32
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Based on what I saw from him on his episode, I assume he's very anti-LGTB because he resents the fact that he's actually gay.
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Jan 8, 2016 20:44
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There were way too many amazing auditions from Little Rock/San Francisco. Like I've heard at least 5 world-beaters and the ep isn't over yet. e: "HER MOM IS THERE" might be the best Idol audition of all time SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Jan 19, 2016 |
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Jan 19, 2016 08:53
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There are a ridiculous amount of talented people this year. I get into AI about every 3-4 years, Scotty McCreery and Phillip Phillips were my last two seasons I seriously watched, but I'm paying attention this year. I still think the people from the very first night of auditions were the best overall.
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Jan 22, 2016 18:50
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I always say that none of the auditions matter and the test of the season is the top 24 live show, but even I'm legitimately excited to see how this shakes out. The paranoid Idol cynic in me is thinking they knew they were closing shop pretty soon and banked really great contestants from the last few years of auditions. It explains the tailspin in quality from the last 2 seasons pretty neatly if you buy into it. Whatever, nothing can be as bad as S13 and S14. I re-read the thread and it's hilarious how many times I declared an episode/performance the worst in the show's history. The worst is still Shi Scott's "Umbrella" though with Lazaro's "Close To You" a VERY close second. (Anya you missed these seasons so you'll want to check them out - also welcome to this ghost town of a thread).
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Jan 23, 2016 09:15
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Reading the name "Lazaro" is like remembering a past trauma.
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Jan 23, 2016 10:42
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MoaM posted:Reading the name "Lazaro" is like remembering a past trauma. It will never not be hilarious to me that he made it to the top 6 above every other male contestant, leaving the strongest top 5 since season 5 in his unbelievably lovely wake.
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Jan 23, 2016 11:16
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Anya posted:There are a ridiculous amount of talented people this year. I get into AI about every 3-4 years, Scotty McCreery and Phillip Phillips were my last two seasons I seriously watched, but I'm paying attention this year. I still think the people from the very first night of auditions were the best overall. Ridiculous amount of talented girls. I like a couple of guys, like the farm-restaurant RnB singer, deep voice guy and the Paul McCartney looking kid, but I'm not sure if they could handle the various weekly themes well, the girls are crazy good this season. The first girl from the last audition episode, the dyed hair Brazilian, reminded me of Kelly Clarkson a bit. It's like she could sing the phonebook.
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Jan 23, 2016 19:27
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Piano girl from the beginning, deep voiced farm to table guy, and the piano player who sang his own song "Lost" while Harry hugged him. Those were my overall favorites. Crazy hairs Brazilian girl could be good, but I wasn't blown away. A lot towards the end, I thought had promise but there wasn't a unique spark. Watching Kanye sing cracked me up, he actually seemed quite nervous.
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Jan 23, 2016 20:18
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pigdog posted:Ridiculous amount of talented girls. I will be legitimately blown away if the final Idol isn't female. There have been a few standout guys but the women are absolutely crushing it. With that said Hollywood Week and the show's insistence on gender parity might turn this into a total disappointment, but for the first time in a long time I'm unironically along for the ride. I wish they'd abandon the rules and make this a season about the best singers regardless of sex but they know their audience too well to do that. In other news, Reality Check is starting out pretty rough this season. Slezak and Doolittle are being remarkably cagey.
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Jan 26, 2016 20:26
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I bailed by the middle-ish of the Live shows last season and what kept me hanging on was the hilarity of forcing everyone to sing at the same time as they discovered they were saved. In a weird twist I wish that were no longer the case because it seems there are some genuine good singers this year?? The format and pacing don't really lend themselves to actual competent live performances though. Goodbye American Idol I won't really miss you and Jordan Smith pretty much ruined all subsequent singshows but RIP anyway.
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Jan 26, 2016 23:58
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Watching a bunch of this all at once. Audtions are boring. That bayou kid Cameron from the opening of Ep2 is going to have his voice change in a week and he is going to lose every single squeaky note he used to get through. Better buy a Scotty McCreary album and start praying to your new Elvis there Cam. Lots of underwhelming people going through. But that is Idol at its core. And these days a popular youtube channel and a spot on the Tween-tour circuit is probably more lucrative than any 19e contract which would explain the need to stock the talent pool with sedated, wormy fish/contestants. Holy crap, Shi/Sheena/Beauty's sister is here! I feel empathy for her having been in prox-Shi-maty with Shi for so long. Lets see if she gets through. But first Shi makes it all about her in the loving waiting room by getting verklempt. Shi got through! I mean her sister did. And Shi makes the celebration all about her by turning her sister back to the door and mugging for the camera and telling everyone straight faced "This is the first time she's ever done something on her own" about her non-disabled fully adult sister. Shi ya later Shi. Clay gets into it with a drag queen. And next up a girl who brought a loving sword. Oh wait, Ep5 is always the one full of lovely people and dumb gimmicks. And on cue, here are the MTG players. Awesome. Ain't no way this Mario Bonds kid is going through. He's awful. And he's breaking down. So He'll be the callback save drive-to-your-house montage kid right? Let's Shi about that prediction later. Crazy-eyed grinning Gina in the neon star spangled party dress is my spirit animal and probably-hopefully an ex wife of mine in a more annoying alternative universe. Ooh cancer girl. Have we had a chemo-headed contestant before? Someone singing with an IV still in and a mouth ringed by chalky isotope elixir? Simon woulda sent them home if they sucked. Cancer girl sucks. Aaaand she's through. Bummer. I can't deal with facepaint girl. Also, her face was loving huge and should have been painted so as not to emphasize that point. Two thin stripes with an inch between 'em? C'mon. Was that the last of the auditions then? Welp. Going to be one bus of wheat and a whole convoy of chaff. I hope we are back to doing awkward airplane hangar cuts and roadside elims. Time to manufacture some drama!
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Jan 28, 2016 10:05
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Ah they cut the poo poo out of most of the objectionably-ticketed people in Day 1 of Hollywood week. Good. And Shi is back on my Shicreen. Huzzah. I like the farm to table guy, now known as has-mono guy. Glad he got through even if it was a via a Shi-tty fakeout non-elim. I hope he gives a lot of people his plague strain. Groups tonight. The one last lone night of watchabilty. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 11:31 on Jan 28, 2016 |
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Jan 28, 2016 11:28
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Surprised that indie guitar girl from San Fransisco picked such a lovely song to sing, thought she was excellent in initial auditions. Ryan Cabera-ish blond rocker is still one of my tops, I can see him being a crowd favorite if he makes it through to live shows. Cowboy girl from BFE and annoying super fan girl I hope get cut soon. Others that I had as standouts made it through but they weren't featured as singing, as their interviews were over their auditions.
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Jan 28, 2016 12:07
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Weirdly enough I didn't have any favorites after the auditions. There were people who should have made it to top 24, and people I would've liked to make the top 24, but not people who were both. Anyhow, they start to develop some personality now. Jenn the spaced out crazy eye chick is selfishly my favorite, not because she could sing or anything, but that she looks like a cat high on catnip and just doesn't seem to give a gently caress whatever happens. It would be good fun if she indeed made it. Dalton the eyelinered rocker guy keeps impressing. His Hollywood performance was really good, and come to think of it, his "Phantom of the Opera" kicked rear end. He feels a little too polished to me, but I he's starting to intrigue me if he keeps it up. Jessica Cabral the Brazilian chick still feels Kelly Clarksonish to me, a dark horse just like she was. She doesn't have a lot of personality, but she has superb talent, and being Plain Jane at this stage is better than showing all your cards and revealing a weak hand. Melanie Tierce's cutting was bullshit. She seemed like one of the few girls who seemed like a believable artist who knew who she was. La'Porsche is a freaking force of nature. What a powerhouse vocalist, god drat. And she has some originality. And she's not actually too annoying. And her baby is incredibly cute. Would not be upset at all if this was her season. If Daniel Farmer could unfuck his personality, then he could actually be an incredible singer. Off the grid chello girl isn't impressing at all. It's a neat gimmick but you can't play a chello and sound good at the same time. Still rooting for has-mono guy, but I fear because people like him usually kind of get long in the tooth by week 6-10.
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Jan 28, 2016 20:02
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Aw sheeeit. Group fuckin' rounds and I'm hearing Blu Cantrell within the first 4 minutes. Time to watch some millennials suffer. Oh god Shi Jr. quits. Shi Jr., in her first act as an antonymous human being, has failed. I look forward to the sight of her elder sister wearing a wig made of her hair re-appearing out of nowhere all smiles and apologies. How do you, as a prospective contestant, not pre-memorize a swath of the predictable Groups repertoire in months between audition and Ho-wood?
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Jan 29, 2016 08:32
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Spirit Animal: The girl dressed as an actual rodeo clown. And I'm not entirely certain if Jenn Blosil isn't that woman from MadTV But I'm entirely certain that the girl with the bangs in the gold-banded cowboy hat is in fact Rachel Drach. Slightly disappointed that the Russian kid can hit and hold high notes, I was hoping that he was an audition-song ringer whose oligarch parents blatantly bought him a seat through to the top 12. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 08:59 on Jan 29, 2016 |
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Jan 29, 2016 08:42
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Dalton the Blonde rocker vs LaPortia is my final two. No real surprises that were cut, but there were some that I was surprised all of the group went through. LaPortia is the real deal though. I'm still amazed that the little annoying super fan with ridiculous curls and bangs is still in. Hoping she finally gets cut next week.
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Jan 30, 2016 23:07
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The thing I found most interesting was all the talk about being disqualified if you didn't have the correct group size... followed immediately by mono dude getting a free pass on singing solo because the producers are so smitten. I can't recall them ever making it A Thing that people go home if they can't get their poo poo together but I'm absolutely positive that so many people haven't bailed during group rounds like they have this season. By the time this was filming the news had to have been out that this was the final season, so I'm guessing word circulated about The Voice holding auditions down the street or something. Also that had to be the most positive and upbeat iteration of Hell Week in any season. They didn't get any of the cuts wrong, which is encouraging. Anya posted:I'm still amazed that the little annoying super fan with ridiculous curls and bangs is still in. Hoping she finally gets cut next week. I can't put my finger on it but something about that person deeply disturbs me. I feel like she's a very well-maintained house of cards that just needs a glancing blow to fall apart completely in a nuclear-grade meltdown and I don't want to be around for it. SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Feb 1, 2016 |
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Feb 1, 2016 20:18
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Neat thing Slezak pointed out in his latest video. Check out Thomas Stringfellow's Hollywood performance https://youtu.be/KfCoYvxPkHw?t=32s . At 0:44 a girl is heard commenting "he's so good". Pay attention to who is sitting directly behind that girl when she says that.  SHUPS 4 DETH posted:I can't put my finger on it but something about that person deeply disturbs me. I feel like she's a very well-maintained house of cards that just needs a glancing blow to fall apart completely in a nuclear-grade meltdown and I don't want to be around for it. Someone noted that she looks like a troll, which I find disturbingly accurate.
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Feb 1, 2016 23:11
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pigdog posted:Neat thing Slezak pointed out in his latest video. Check out Thomas Stringfellow's Hollywood performance https://youtu.be/KfCoYvxPkHw?t=32s . At 0:44 a girl is heard commenting "he's so good". Pay attention to who is sitting directly behind that girl when she says that. drat, he is good.
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Feb 1, 2016 23:16
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That boy is talented like that! Jenn Blosil, and Olivia Cox strike me as the most "Kelly Clarkson" of the girls.
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Feb 1, 2016 23:39
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Crazy Curl Super Fan and Cowboy Cello Chick - whyyyyyyyyy. There are some pretty good performances out of sick people so far. Curious to see how the cut to top 24 goes tonight.
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Feb 4, 2016 18:01
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Live Update: Annoying Superfan got cut. I screencapped the moment her annoying heart was broken. 
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Feb 5, 2016 02:11
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I WAS SO EXCITED I HAD TO WRITE IN CAPS ABOUT IT Overall, I am pleased with the top 24. There are only a couple I'm not crazy about, but I hope they get winnowed over before live things start. Contestants I love: Dalton "the Blonde Rocker" Rapattoni LaPorsha "who needs no last name" Renae Trent "the Mono Man" Harmon Jen "JBlo" Blosil Olivia Rox - best name ever, needs no nickname Mackenzie "Glasses" Bourg Thomas "WGWG" Stringfellow Contestants that I think won't make it to 12, but will last a bit: Adam Lasher James VIII Kory Wheeler CJ Johnson Amelia Eisenhauer Manny Torres Sonika Vaid Jordan Sasser Contestants that are going to be annoying: Tristan McIntosh - we will hear about her mom forever Gianna Isabella - we have to hear about her mom as well, she is the one I think did not deserve to make it Emily Brooke - she seemed to squeak in based on improvement from last year Avalon Young - I'm so tomboy Jeneve Rose Mitchell - I DONT HAVE ELECTRICITY AND LIVE IN BFE AND WEAR HATS Shelby Z and Stephany Nagrete, talented - but they will be hit or miss. I'm not completely sold on them, but I think they are the wild cards. still calling a Dalton v LaPorsha final. Anya fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Feb 5, 2016 |
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Feb 5, 2016 04:30
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Anya posted:still calling a Dalton v LaPorsha final. Have you forgot that its idol? Dalton v. T. Stringfellow vs. Monoman vs every other last white male for the finale is a lock. They had to painfully stack the deck with Lazeros the last time they got an adult black woman into the finale.
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Feb 5, 2016 04:44
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I actually know Jenn Blosil! Haven't seen her in a couple years, but we were both super active in Provo's music scene a few years ago. (I always called her Provo's Norah Jones so it's interesting to see her go a different direction.) She's always been insanely talented and it's been fun to see her Facebook posts as she goes through all of this. She's very humble and excited about being on the show. It's definitely playing up her "weirdness" because she's pretty normal IRL. Feels good to see someone that beat you in a battle of the bands get national attention.
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Feb 5, 2016 14:27
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shadow puppet of a posted:Have you forgot that its idol? Dalton v. T. Stringfellow vs. Monoman vs every other last white male for the finale is a lock. They had to painfully stack the deck with Lazeros the last time they got an adult black woman into the finale. Oh I know - and they are gonna push hard for a girl to make finals and the public is going to pick cute rocker guy from a former boy band, or a WGWG. But I can dream. At least all the guys with guitars this year seem like people who I would want to listen to on repeat; but they are all pretty similar.
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Feb 5, 2016 17:44
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Cowboy Cello Chick can gently caress RIGHT OFF for literally raping Adam Lambert's signature "Ring of Fire" performance.  Thought talent would carry Jessica Cabral to live rounds where she could develop personality, but welp. Current favorite has to be Avalon. I'm not sure she's mainstream to be appealing enough to reach top 12, but she's the most ready to have a recording career. She's comfortable and believable on the stage, and she absolutely nailed the last solo performance. Singing male RnB songs definitely sounds right by her. Overall, seems to be a pretty good top 24. Now for the part of the season where the show only goes downhill. edit: Like: Avalon, Dalton, Porsche, the red headed katana nerd chick, JBlo, Mono Guy, CJ Don't like: chick whose mom was a singer, Tristan the Chosen One, Stringfellow the Fraud, Kory Wheeler the Douche Looking, loving ten gallon hat no electricity chello bitch Ambivalent about everyone else pigdog fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Feb 5, 2016 |
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Feb 5, 2016 19:02
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pigdog posted:Apathetic about everyone And of course since it's the last season my favorite from auditions and hollywood gets cut with zero fanfare. Don't ask me her name; I don't take notes until the top 24 because it's easier if I don't know their names
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Feb 6, 2016 09:31
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What did she look like?
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Feb 6, 2016 23:27
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Anya posted:What did she look like? Had a medium complexion, sideswept curly hair that was about chin-length and blonde at the ends but otherwise dark brown and i feel like she wore blue almost exclusively. e: Jessica Cabral. Me and Slezak share kvetches apparently. e2: also pigdog SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 21:49 on Feb 7, 2016 |
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Feb 7, 2016 21:42
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