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Going paperless is still in fashion in parts of Asia. But for me, a guy born & raised in America, it was a leap of faith about a year ago when I installed a bidet under the toilet seat and no amount of Internet videos & articles could truly prepare me for that first blast. But here I am, almost a year later and I'd never go back. Benefits I've noticed include: - Hemorrhoid Relief: Because my work keeps me mostly in a chair at a desk, I used to have some terrible pain down there. Really, really terrible. We're bloody stools that looked like a Nightmare on Elm Street special toilet edition. They took a few months to go away, but today I have no problems unless there is an extremely hard stool. - Spicy Foods, bring it on! It used to be a real pain about 12 hours after I ate hot spicy foods. Now I wash away the heat from down beneath. - Cleaned to Pristine: Toilet paper will always leave poop residue on your bunghole. Wipe all you like, it's still there. With water, I'm 100% clean every time. - Great cool down after heavy exercise: On a hot summers day when you go out and run or lift or whatever, a great way to catch your breath and cool down is to sit on a cold bidet and let it take your breath away. Yeah, this one's a little weird but it truly is a great cool down. - Diarrhea Be Dammed: On those rare occasions when I'm sick with the flu, hourly bowel movements used to really irritate the backside because of all the wiping. With my bidet I said goodbye to chapped anus. - Go Deep: For the brave, you can actually center the stream and go for a minor colon flush. - The Humor: The face my 5 year old son made the first time he decided to play with the lever while sitting on my toilet will forever be burned into my sense of humor. I never would have known just how BIG his eyes can get. Absolutely priceless. - $Money$: Every dollar you're not spending on toilet tissue is a dollar you can spend towards sitting on a beach with the beverage of your choice. - Never running out of the Important Papers. (self explanatory, you KNOW what I'm talking about) - Environmentally Friendlier: Toilet paper actually is bad for the environment. The process to make it requires massive amounts of water and chemicals. I don't think anyone is clear cutting rain forests to make toilet tissue, but it does take trees and electric energy. After the fact, toilet tissue has to be broken down at the sewage plant and a portion of it ends up as a gray matter that ends up in landfills (take a tour of your local sewage plant to see what I mean). I have found that it's healthier, cleaner and more environmental to give up toilet tissue. I've often wondered how much of an impact it would if everyone on Earth made the switch. The Bad: While there are portable 'squeeze water bottle' bidets available, I find them impractical to carry with me. So on the rare occasions I'm not 'making the morning deposit' at home and I have no choice but to paper wipe, it irritates because I'm not used to it. How it works: A device connects under your toilet seat with a small water sprayer that showers your 'down there'. A water supply line connects under the toilet's water tank using a T adapter. It's actually a pretty simple DIY project to install, but make darned sure you have all the plumbing supplies you need before you start if this is your only toilet. There are heated models available. My largest fear at the beginning was the cold water part. Heated models require wiring and are much more expensive. I decided to try the cold model first and see how it went. Glad I did, I'd never want to use heated water now. The first couple goes were a bit chilly, but it got easier every time. http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-110-Non-Electric/dp/B009ZLRSJ6/ So there it is, my tell all deepest darkest secret. Ask me any questions, or if you're in the Bidet Brotherhood (or sisterhood) share your own experiences.
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Jan 7, 2016 16:07
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Do you still need something to dry your rear end in a top hat with after? Or do you just drip dry?
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Jan 7, 2016 18:58
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Oh look, another goon obsessed with their rear end in a top hat.
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Jan 7, 2016 19:50
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Sigh. I'm actually more curious about this than I'd like to admit.
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Jan 7, 2016 22:05
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Just chiming in, I've spent a lot of time in Japan and they have a lot of toilets like these. They're loving awesome. my butthole has never been so clean.
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Jan 7, 2016 22:37
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If my toilet wasn't set up in a way that made this impossible I'd be all over it. The hose braid can't bend enough to fit a tee in and the threads on the connection are pretty messed up. Learned this when some one gave us one of those diaper washer things. If we ever redo the whole bathroom for dumb property value reasons I'm going to put in some kind of wonder shitter. Sometimes sushi joints have weird high tech bidets, if anyone wants to test drive.
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Jan 7, 2016 22:38
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Moist wipes own if you can't install a bidet or don't care to Fun thing to do: wipe with dry tp and when you would normally be done use a moist wipe after and be amazed/disgusted
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Jan 8, 2016 00:12
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Cyrano4747 posted:Do you still need something to dry your rear end in a top hat with after? Or do you just drip dry? From what I've read, some people 'pat dry' with paper. Personally, I give it a good twerk and call it good. No problems with water residue. I wear cotton briefs. If you go commando or wear silk boxers the water may effect you differently. It's not much water really, no more than a small amount of sweat. I will suggest getting up slowly. As your cheeks come together water drips off. If you get up rapidly, you'll need to wipe drips off the seat. stringball posted:Moist wipes own if you can't install a bidet or don't care to Great point. Have done this and agree. If people only knew how much poop they were walking around with on their butts all day long. gizmojumpjet posted:Oh look, another goon obsessed with their rear end in a top hat. I also pee in the shower, like every time.
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Jan 8, 2016 01:31
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P-Mack posted:If my toilet wasn't set up in a way that made this impossible I'd be all over it. The hose braid can't bend enough to fit a tee in and the threads on the connection are pretty messed up. Learned this when some one gave us one of those diaper washer things. If we ever redo the whole bathroom for dumb property value reasons I'm going to put in some kind of wonder shitter. You could replace the hose with one more flexible. Any hardware store or even big box/home depot type store should have a large selection. You just screw on and tighten, hard to mess that up. Take a walk through the plumbing aisle next time your out, there are new bathroom plumbing gadgets coming out all the time to make projects like this easy. example: http://www.amazon.com/LASCO-10-1083-Braided-Stainless-Ballcock/dp/B00N2H2LUK
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Jan 8, 2016 01:36
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Won't you spend more money on water than you will save on buying TP? I think bidets are pretty great and way more sanitary than toilet paper, I'm not sure it's really a money saver.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:15
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Enfys posted:Won't you spend more money on water than you will save on buying TP? Water is really, really cheap unless you live in the middle of the desert or in some kind of biodome. Like a hundredth of a cent for a quick squirt to the ol bunghole.
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Jan 9, 2016 02:03
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gizmojumpjet posted:Oh look, another goon obsessed with their rear end in a top hat. 
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Jan 9, 2016 06:13
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Enfys posted:Won't you spend more money on water than you will save on buying TP? I don't know where you live but in pretty much all of North America water is kept artificially cheap to the point at which the amount of water a bidet uses is almost immeasurable in terms of monetary value.
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Jan 9, 2016 06:46
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Enfys posted:Won't you spend more money on water than you will save on buying TP? While people's bathroom habits and paper usage vary widely, I've average usage statistics between 20,000 and 49,000 sheets per year per person. If a roll of 1000 sheets costs around $1 and it lasts a person a week, that's $52 per year in TP. About half of Americans are on municipal water, the rest of us have wells (well water being generally much cheaper). Municipal water costs average $1.50 per 1,000 gallons in the USA. A single usage of a bidet uses less than half a quart of water. Even if a person really 'sat on the water' for a good long time they could maybe use a quart of water (that's 1/4th of a gallon). If a person uses an entire quart of water per day, that's 91 gallons per year, almost 15¢. Toilet paper per year: $52 Bidet water per year: 15¢ That's a 99.7% savings by using a bidet. Perhaps this could be used to reduce military spending.
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Jan 10, 2016 15:03
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Having toilet water spayed on you and being dripping wet seems gross.
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Jan 10, 2016 23:53
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Real Talk: Bidets are the best. A friend of mine has a really fancy one with a billion buttons for every type of balloon knot. It even has a air puff to dry it all out gently. Goddamn.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:21
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Ausmund posted:Having toilet water spayed on you and being dripping wet seems gross. The water is from a clean supply line, not out of the bowl. It's the same water you cook, bathe and brush your teeth with.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:24
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So you're telling me that a gentle squirt of water is enough to clean your bunghole to a sparkling finish? Maybe my digestive system hates me, but I think I'd need something like a pressure washer to clean my nethers without any form of mechanical aid. Or do you have a special BidetBrush that you get in there with?
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Jan 11, 2016 05:07
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Gromit posted:So you're telling me that a gentle squirt of water is enough to clean your bunghole to a sparkling finish? Maybe my digestive system hates me, but I think I'd need something like a pressure washer to clean my nethers without any form of mechanical aid. Or do you have a special BidetBrush that you get in there with? Yes. I have experience with bidets and they don't leave your rear end as clean as their fanboys say they do. Use a bidet, and then wipe your rear end with toilet paper: you will notice poo poo residue still.
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Jan 11, 2016 15:47
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I installed one and with the water pressure all the way up I don't have anything left after a few seconds of spraying. Jiggle your butt to get all corners and then pat dry, done. It's much better than TP.
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Jan 11, 2016 16:49
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ashgromnies posted:Yes. I have experience with bidets and they don't leave your rear end as clean as their fanboys say they do. Use a bidet, and then wipe your rear end with toilet paper: you will notice poo poo residue still. It's fair to assume that not all bidets are made equal. Some of them have a side to side action, some have heated water or even a dryer. Mine is a single solid narrow stream with an adjustable flow. Cranked up all the way can even be slightly painful if it hits just right. I was an honest skeptic from the beginning and did several 'wipe tests' after using the bidet. No residue found. But if squeaky clean assurance is what you require, you could adapt to the methods of certain Muslim cultures and some parts of Nepal where they use a Left-Hand-Rub in addition to water. I'm open minded but I'd have a hard time going this extra step.
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Jan 11, 2016 18:05
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Are you bidet users... emotionally happier after the switch?
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Jan 12, 2016 02:50
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maporfic posted:From what I've read, some people 'pat dry' with paper. Personally, I give it a good twerk and call it good. No problems with water residue. I wear cotton briefs. If you go commando or wear silk boxers the water may effect you differently. It's not much water really, no more than a small amount of sweat. I will suggest getting up slowly. As your cheeks come together water drips off. If you get up rapidly, you'll need to wipe drips off the seat. You must have a really hairless rear end because I have to use a good amount of TP to dry things up. Gromit posted:So you're telling me that a gentle squirt of water is enough to clean your bunghole to a sparkling finish? Maybe my digestive system hates me, but I think I'd need something like a pressure washer to clean my nethers without any form of mechanical aid. Or do you have a special BidetBrush that you get in there with? I have the same bidet as the OP and I the one time I went above 40% pressure I nearly leapt off the toilet. That thing can pack a punch. Drunk Canuck posted:Are you bidet users... emotionally happier after the switch? YES
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Jan 12, 2016 06:08
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I keep seeing "no tp" and "pat dry" do you have a butt towel? Edit: my friend had a bidet. For awhile. But I never tried it. I did turn it on once though, and it hit the ceiling.
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Jan 12, 2016 10:32
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These things are really awesome and I love mine, even though it's a cheap one I got off of Woot and installed myself. I still use TP to dry with, but I get much less irritated now and it gets you cleaner.
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Jan 12, 2016 17:36
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The General posted:I keep seeing "no tp" and "pat dry" do you have a butt towel? I use tp to pat dry. I use a lot less doing that than wiping. I keep tp there anyways since not every guest wants to use a bidet.
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Jan 12, 2016 17:36
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My husband's bathroom has a bidet toilet seat (we live in South Korea) and while he likes it, I have no idea how to adjust the water temperature. Because of that, when I had to use it after an incident where I couldn't use my hand WITH TOILET PAPER - well, let's just say that icy cold water right in the rear end is a goddamn horrific moment every single time.
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Jan 12, 2016 18:27
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maporfic posted:While people's bathroom habits and paper usage vary widely, I've average usage statistics between 20,000 and 49,000 sheets per year per person. I poo poo 2-3 times a day and 50-100 sheets seems ridiculous to me. If you have explosive diarrhea couldn't you get poo poo in your water nozzle?
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Jan 14, 2016 01:16
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rock rock posted:If you have explosive diarrhea couldn't you get poo poo in your water nozzle? Which will then have high pressure water shot out of it?
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Jan 14, 2016 02:02
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rock rock posted:I poo poo 2-3 times a day and 50-100 sheets seems ridiculous to me. There's a guard in front of the nozzle that moves out of the way when you turn it on
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Jan 14, 2016 02:24
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Most of them also have a cleaning setting, where it shoot water from behind the guard and cleans itself off.
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Jan 14, 2016 14:08
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maporfic posted:I also pee in the shower, like every time. Every time you are in the shower or every time you have to pee?
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Jan 14, 2016 19:45
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rock rock posted:I poo poo 2-3 times a day and 50-100 sheets seems ridiculous to me. Is this normal?
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Jan 14, 2016 19:50
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ZoneManagement posted:Is this normal? I do the same thing. Most people do a little less but 2-3 times isn't a sign of a problem.
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Jan 14, 2016 20:17
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ZoneManagement posted:Is this normal? Prior to the bidet I was once a day. With bidet it's now 2-3. It's just more fun to go now. Don't judge me.
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Jan 15, 2016 04:28
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Lowen SoDium posted:Every time you are in the shower or every time you have to pee? Every shower has a little gold in it, but not all gold goes in the shower. Did you really want to know that?
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Jan 15, 2016 04:30
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I got on the "no 'poo (shampoo)" wagon a couple years back and it was rough going for maybe, 2 months? Eventually your bodies self-cleaning mechanisms start doing their job again and my hair was looking better than ever. After realizing the human body was essentially self-cleaning I tried a "no-wipe" regimen and holy cow, this was rough. Constant itching and discomfort. Frequently found spots on my undergarments. I cannot describe the temptation to just duck into a restroom for a single wipe. It was at its absolute worst when I was jogging. I basically couldn't do anything that caused my back to sweat which totally upset my fitness routine and impacted my weight. I personally wouldn't recommend trying to quit toilet paper but I didn't have a bidet so maybe OP knows something I don't.
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Jan 15, 2016 07:26
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Yea, OP doesn't walk around with poo poo literally on his rear end all day, you did.
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Jan 15, 2016 14:57
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You know.. I still want a bidet, but:maporfic posted:With water, I'm 100% clean every time. Unless you use soap, there's no 100% clean going on, here. I'm sure you know this, but it only recently dawned on me.
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Jan 15, 2016 21:09
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I posted this in a previous bidet thread but this is a really, really bad idea if you are a female. You can spray water on your rear end all you want but the shitwater runoff will likely run downwards and back into your vagina due to gravity, causing infections like yeast, UTIs or BV 
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Jan 15, 2016 21:47
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