Soulex posted:

To be honest, if you can't get laid in college, you deserve what you get. I got laid just visiting a college.

And no, online classes and masterbation doesn't count. We'd all have crazy numbers.

Mr. Nice! posted:

I had a drunk 22 year old at the bar a few nights ago when I went to go corral my drunk roommate upon finding out that I was only 31 say "man you haven't aged well at all have you?"

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

tbf pilot wives are like the hall of famer major league player in the dependa games

e-1 wives are like little leaguers

krispykremessuck posted:

classic garrett

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Well Garrett certainly looks like a boot.

Jumpingmanjim posted:

In his defence, she looks like she has crazy eyes.

Soulex posted:

thems aint crazy eyes

Soulex posted:

thems aint crazy eyes

Jumpingmanjim posted:

go3 posted:

'military future'

DownByTheWooter posted:

lol that chick is gonna get plowed by so many black dudes

go3 posted:

'military future'

Justin Tyme posted:

"went to my hubby's promotion ceremony, so proud of my new Specialist!"

Justin Tyme posted:

"went to my hubby's promotion ceremony, so proud of my new Specialist!"

Hobolicious posted:

'So proud of my hubby for making Seaman Apprentice for the third time!'

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

"we got promoted!"

krispykremessuck posted:

classic garrett

Panfilo posted:

Not being in the military or being the spouse of someone in the military, I'm not familiar with what life is like for military spouses. I first learned about 'Dependas' 'Dependapottomus' etc terms on SA. I was curious how much of it is for real and how much of it is exaggerating. Googling it gets interesting results; either blogs making fun of dependas or milspouse blogs talking about how horribly sexist the term and stereotype is.

Are military spouses more likely to be stay at home parents? Are the less likely to have higher education themselves? A common claim seems to be that the spouse wraps up a lot of (her) identity in the career (and rank?) of the spouse. Is there some kind of hierarchy among military spouses?

Genocide Tendency posted:

I spent more time "working" with the army than I did on an air force base. Which basically means anytime they had to send someone to an army post for some bullshit or another, they sent me. But that was fine with me because being AF, no one really knew who was responsible for me. The down side was I some how wound up spending an uncomfortable time around one army officer who I still call "The Captain" despite him making at least Major. I'm pretty sure he "retired" roughly that, give or take a promotion because he was too awesome to make full bird, let alone getting a star.

Half of what made him awesome was his wife.

First off, she was a solid 7, mainly because she loved cheese cake and wine more than the gym. But genetics were overly nice to her. She was also smart. Not did well in school and finished college.. I mean MENSA level IQ. Combine those two with the utter contempt for humanity worthy of GIP and you get a fun evening of drinking.

This woman hated military spouses.

Literally. Hated them on principle.

One night, several glasses of wine too many later, she explained it.

Military wives are the worst god drat blight on the face of the earth. Most of them have an IQ slightly lower than that of the monkey at the zoo that throws poo poo at everyone. The only two things lower than their IQ is their husband's mental capacity and her chances of being a lingerie model. Its like making a sentient being out of a trash compactor. Big, foul smelling, noisy and consume garbage at an alarming rate. Entitled? Oh... Pretty sure more than one has their vibrator in a copy of their husband's last promotion announcement. They would have used the original but they couldn't figure out how to get it out of the picture frame they had it encased in. This leads to believing that they are the wife of someone important. Remember when the base commander's wife got a ticket for speeding, so the speed limit got raised and the mp who wrote the ticket got admin discharged? That is the mentality of just about every military wife. Those officer wives clubs are the same thing as a club for inbred trailer trash who won the lottery. Enlisted wives clubs are basically support groups for retired Alabama strippers. The easiest way to know all you need to about a military wife is their participation with spouse organizations. The more involved, the less you need to accept that they are actual human beings. The easiest way to figure out how involved they are is actually visual. The ratio of weight to clothing is a dead give away. If they look like 25 pounds of poo poo crammed into a 10 pound sack that they claim is only a 5 pound.. gently caress. You get the point. If that sack has camouflage anywhere, I mean anywhere, the grunts of her shoveling food into her mouth is the most intelligent she is capable of. When she starts to say something, save yourself from the anguish and just imagine Yakety Sax is the sound coming out of that hell hole of stupidity.

The best way to find a reasonable military wife is to run into them at a decent restaurant, and spend the entire time thinking you know them from somewhere, but just can't remember where. It was at one of those mandatory fun family days and she spent the entire time praying that she would spontaneously develop ninja skills so she could hide from these insufferable fucks. Or have a previously undiagnosed aneurysm rupture and she die on the spot. See the one in the corner wishing she had known the wallpaper design so she could have dressed in a manner that would allow her to flatten against the wall so no one would see her, thats the one that defies the norm.

Since most early enlisted are single or "engaged", which means they are single but still hung up on the first girl who managed to give him a blow job without cutting his dick up with their teeth, learn this one lesson. Above all else, know this one single thing. Never gently caress a girl who says she is into military men. Never. Don't even consider letting her know what brand of loving underwear you are wearing. These women are like military wives but not competent enough to actually dupe some dumb gently caress 19 year old kid who has more testosterone than functioning brain cells. These creatures either have less teeth than the average nursing home patient or syphilis has ravaged their cognitive abilities to the point even an E-3 can tell something isn't right, and that something is a deal breaker.

Do not ever go near a military wife. Avoid interaction with them in the same way you would avoid interacting with a rabies infected badger. If you know she is a military wife, treat her as radio active. You aren't dressed properly to be anywhere near them. Don't go near women who are interested in military men. If you have to commit ritual suicide on the loving spot to get away from one, well... Just know that you still get buried with honors.

Men who are military spouses are not so secretly gay. Or they were med boarded after a TBI and that sympathy gently caress he got from the physical therapy aid who taught him how to eat with a fork again at Walter Reed resulted in an unexpected bundle of joy, if you consider poo poo filled diapers joy . 90% of them aren't a blight on mankind who lower the average enough to rate human beings somewhere between a goat and that three legged blind cat you aunt wouldn't do the honorable thing and put down. But they also either are not so subtle about their willingness to help you "experiment" or can't quite grasp the complexity of shoe laces. So having a normal adult conversation with them is as likely as an ATI marriage working out.

People who want to attach themselves to military personnel are people you want nothing to do with. Unless his wife married him before he decided to further ruin his life by joining the military, its safe to assume you don't need to be anywhere near her. If she is in the military and married, as long as she isn't a marine then you are pretty safe to talk to her, her husband on the other hand is a crap shoot between getting expert curtain advice or drooling on themselves.

Also. Don't gently caress girls who are enlisted. Thats like sticking your dick in a live light socket. On second thought, you are better off sticking your dick in a live light socket.




We liked to get her liquored up and ask her for advice. Never once led us astray.

Soulex posted:

Goddamn. This woman deserves a loving award.

More please.

Also today is the day we found out McNally is not so secretly gay.

McNally posted:

I... wasn't trying to hide it?

gently caress, man, we all wore the uniform. Ain't nothing secret about that.

How do you know I'm not too stupid for shoelaces instead? Don't assume, man

Soulex posted:

And it was a lovely attempt at a joke

Soulex posted:

I'm just projecting.

krispykremessuck posted:

classic garrett

buttplug posted:

*checks bank account* man I'm glad I've never been married.

McNally posted:

casualty assistance.txt

buttplug posted:

*checks bank account* man I'm glad I've never been married.

Laranzu posted:

Wife is going to school full time and not working. We're still drowning in positive cash flow.

Are we doing it wrong?

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

no kids owns owns owns.

maffew buildings posted:

no kids owns owns owns