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Railtus posted:Which is why I want more discussion. I don't think we're ever going to stop the trivialisation of abuse against men, but it will do far more to help if men become more aware of abusive behaviours against them, the harm they can cause, and ways people will try to trivialise it - that way they can form effective strategies to protect themselves against further abuse. For me at least, an important aspect of my ongoing recovery from that abuse is recognising habits or beliefs I held that made me such an easy target (such as chivalry and appeasement, where I saw it as my responsibility to make her happy). Suppression is a temporary measure at best. I favour a long-term solution where men have a better understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Absolutely. I don't know about a lof of the posters here, but I understand what you've gone through. My wife gets frustrated with me when I apologize profusely for things she gets mad at that I have nothing to do with. Or when I react with a flinch when she yells at something. Or (one I need to stop somehow) putting myself in between her and the cats or our son. It breaks her heart to see that reaction to what is just a minor expression of frustration. But to me, it's just a reminder that "I need to fix it." or "I need to take the beating so my sister doesn't (in this case, cats & son)". I know that she's not abusive. I know she'd not hurt our son or the cats. But you can't turn it off. I grew up trying to keep my (unknown to me) abusive mother from leaving us. I felt that since my father was always working, it was my responsiblity to appease the lunatic in the next room, so that I still have a family for another day. When you're in that situation, you don't see it for what it is. You just do what you can to solve it. Talking about it without riducle from your peers is very important.
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Mar 3, 2016 21:47
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Popular Thug Drink posted:it's fine to complain about random people's internet opinions but it's pretty, weird, to build from that into rampant and violent misandry I'd not claim violent misandry in my experience, ever. But the dismissal and trivializing of any emotional concerns I or other men have is a common occurance. Especially here, if you end up on the wrong end of whatever topic. "Your Fee-Fees" are often mocked and derided. Don't forget yourself and those like you as well.
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Mar 7, 2016 22:28
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