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Some of you may remember a few months ago I mentioned how I was going to a local convention where a game called Hoard the Spoils was being demoed. You may remember it from its terrible kickstarter, or the fact that it's a libertarian RPG where you play brave adventurers trying to keep the mean ol' gummit from seizing your hard-earned murderhobo profits. Well, the convention was this weekend. Nobody played in his demos (which I can't ride him for much; nobody showed up for my Night Witches or WWW games), but in the dealer hall nobody talked to him or was at his table at any point I wandered past. This is how many copies he had.  The next table over was for a horror storygame called Ten Candles that was doing really well and giving a lot of demos, so I'm sure that just made the Spoils guy feel even worse. I knew just from the KS preview that his game was going to be hot garbage, so I didn't touch the poop as it were, but that said I think I may be the only person who acquired a copy of the game over the whole weekend. And I didn't even pay for it; the con had a "play events/games, get achievement points, trade in points for swag" thing going on, and at the end of the weekend that was the only thing I was interested in that was left. I paid zero dollars for this game, and I feel profoundly ripped off. This is the introduction: quote:Explorers have faced a lot of different kinds of enemies from bandits to master wizards who use fear, intimidation as well as magic, but a new threat rises to strip the people of their freedoms willingly. Charming the masses with a form of brotherhood from charlatans who want to control the people and to demonize or kill anyone who won’t fall in line: this collective of wannabe emperors will be looking for ways to do this and it will be up the players how they deal with this power struggle. Since the explorers could either stand in their way or join the ranks the New Republic will use their guilds as scapegoats by calling them hoarders and redistributing their wealth to the poor. Which will in turn make them look like heroes in the eyes of the people and the hoarders will become the villains That's the setting. That's it. That's the only loving thing in this book that isn't character creation or how to make monsters or spells. And that's not the worst of it. The whole book was clearly just written in a default Word doc with super-wide spacing between lines, then printed to PDF. There are tables that are clearly Office defaults. There are line breaks between headers and the colon after them. There's a list of body types for men and women; men get Washboard, Keg, and Gladiator, women get Tube (very lean), Pear (curvy below the waist), Apple (Curvy above the waist), and Hourglass. He has poorly formatted coin conversion tables where he forgot to undo Word's auto-replace of (C) with the copyright symbol. There's a goddamn "No Alignment?" section like he BLEW OUR loving MINDS that the game doesn't use alignment. In 20-loving-16. The index starts at the bottom of the same page as the character sheet. The entire book is what I'm assuming is the generic d6 system OGL fantasy content, because there's nothing else. Just make characters and play! What's that? What's the setting? What's the world called? Who're those guys trying to take over the world? Where did all the PCs run and hide to? Who loving knows? It's just 100 loving pages of tables and generic fantasy races and skills and equipment lists and advantages and disadvantages. I am so glad I didn't talk to this guy because I would have either laughed or screamed in his loving face. It's been a long time since a game made me this angry. Evil Mastermind fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 17:12
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Evil Mastermind posted:This is how many copies he had. The free market decided he was bad and he kept his enormous hoard. Maybe he was right all along. 
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Feb 8, 2016 17:35
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Evil Mastermind posted:I paid zero dollars for this game, and I feel profoundly ripped off.
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Feb 8, 2016 17:37
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Is there at least enough mockable content to write up an F&F review?
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Feb 8, 2016 18:06
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Yawgmoth posted:I like how his intro (and probably everything else) was obviously written stream-of-consciousness style, with zero attempts to edit, proofread, or revise at all. pre:Header : Slimnoid posted:Is there at least enough mockable content to write up an F&F review? e: There aren't even any credits beyond the author and illustrator.
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Feb 8, 2016 18:13
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quote:Explorers have faced a lot of different kinds of enemies from bandits to master wizards who use fear, intimidation as well as magic, but a new threat rises to strip the people of their freedoms willingly. Charming the masses with a form of brotherhood from charlatans who want to control the people and to demonize or kill anyone who won’t fall in line: this collective of wannabe emperors will be looking for ways to do this and it will be up the players how they deal with this power struggle. Since the explorers could either stand in their way or join the ranks the New Republic will use their guilds as scapegoats by calling them hoarders and redistributing their wealth to the poor. Which will in turn make them look like heroes in the eyes of the people and the hoarders will become the villains I've tried reading this five times, and each time my eyes have jumped out of their sockets and strangled me with my own optic nerves. If you're going to publish a book, learn to loving write.
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Feb 8, 2016 19:08
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quote:You as a hoarder will be perceived as evil by those who believe that you are hiding your money from them in order to keep it for yourself
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Feb 8, 2016 19:11
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The only way you're gonna impress anyone by writing an elf game without any alignments in 2016 is if you manage to do it without using any Es either. Holy moly, what a nothing setting with even more nothing mechanics. Edit: it's a shame, this would be a million times more interesting if you were playing objectively evil characters defending their hordes and power from murder hobos but that might make him do some self reflection on his whole castle doctrine Steve Ditko thing he's got going on Ominous Jazz fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 21:03
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Ominous Jazz posted:The only way you're gonna impress anyone by writing an elf game without any alignments in 2016 is if you manage to do it without using any Es either. At that point you could just take it all the way and make it so the players are the monsters hoarding all their gold in their dungeon while heroes come and try to steal it!
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Feb 8, 2016 21:38
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I dunno why you'd be angry about this EM. If the book literally has no redeeming qualities at all - no hidden gem buried under the cruft, not even enough to make it interesting or fun to mock - there's no potential to be sad about. The book is, well, meaningless and pointless.
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Feb 8, 2016 22:14
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ProfessorCirno posted:I dunno why you'd be angry about this EM. If the book literally has no redeeming qualities at all - no hidden gem buried under the cruft, not even enough to make it interesting or fun to mock - there's no potential to be sad about. The book is, well, meaningless and pointless. It aggravates me because I have so many things I want to write or work on, but I'm unable to get myself to finish them. Meanwhile, this dingbat publishes a garbage RPG like it's no big deal.
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Feb 8, 2016 22:17
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It's ideologically unpure.
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Feb 8, 2016 22:29
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Evil Mastermind posted:There's a list of body types for men and women; men get Washboard, Keg, and Gladiator, women get Tube (very lean), Pear (curvy below the waist), Apple (Curvy above the waist), and Hourglass. What does this do in the setting, or is it just a 'let's mess with the lib'ruhls' sort of thing? dwarf74 fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 22:32
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dwarf74 posted:That's something right there. It's supposed to modify the "how much do you weigh" roll, despite the fact that the roll doesn't seem to exist in the book. Another thing I just noticed: the listed starting ages for each race, which is "the age when they're becoming adults and their parents step aside in order for their children to develop into the man or woman they are destined to be", but there's no modifier on these ages. Every starting human is apparently 16 (for example), but the characters are supposed to be experienced adventurers who apparently have enough loot squirreled away to be a threat to the government question mark?
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Feb 8, 2016 22:50
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This seems like an RPG where the best thing anyone could say about it is that it isn't MYFAROG
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Feb 8, 2016 22:52
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ProfessorCirno posted:The book is, well, meaningless and pointless. But enough about Atlas Shrugged.
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Feb 8, 2016 23:25
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Ominous Jazz posted:It's ideologically unpure. That might as well the biggest reason anyone here dislikes it. e: Only reason.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:10
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:That might as well the biggest reason anyone here dislikes it. Rules-light versus rules-heavy is a question of ideology? I feel as though I have been suddenly enlightened.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:13
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As a Maoist-Third Editionist, it is clear: a tabletop game is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery. It cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A game is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one edition overthrows another.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:24
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Evil Mastermind posted:Oh there's zero proofreading here. This happens more than once: If it's too short for F&F, you know it's just right for System Mastery.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:24
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Evil Mastermind posted:It aggravates me because I have so many things I want to write or work on, but I'm unable to get myself to finish them. Meanwhile, this dingbat publishes a garbage RPG like it's no big deal. Reminds me a bit of Patton Oswalt's rant about Death Bed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01l1WIC9mBo
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Feb 9, 2016 01:25
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theironjef posted:If it's too short for F&F, you know it's just right for System Mastery. I fully support this initiative.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:30
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Sort of funny how people will justify procrastination to themselves.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:43
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Effectronica posted:Rules-light versus rules-heavy is a question of ideology? The reason people should say MyFarog is bad should be more of the fact it has a table for different swimming speed checks than the fact that you are an aryan pagan superman with swastika tats that fights mudpeople who have a strangely semitic faith about a christ-like figure.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:47
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:The reason people should say MyFarog is bad should be more of the fact it has a table for different swimming speed checks than the fact that you are an aryan pagan superman with swastika tats that fights mudpeople who have a strangely semitic faith about a christ-like figure. Those monsters. Are they stuck in the Paleolithic when it comes to presenting information? I bet they used PowerPoint to lay that poo poo out.
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Feb 9, 2016 02:00
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theironjef posted:If it's too short for F&F, you know it's just right for System Mastery. oriongates posted:Reminds me a bit of Patton Oswalt's rant about Death Bed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01l1WIC9mBo
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Feb 9, 2016 02:02
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And although the actual content sounds dismal, buying cover art, going to a con, renting a booth, actually getting product on a table is no small feat. All of that effort for something like that.
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Feb 9, 2016 02:04
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oriongates posted:And although the actual content sounds dismal, buying cover art, going to a con, renting a booth, actually getting product on a table is no small feat.
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Feb 9, 2016 02:12
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Evil Mastermind posted:Thing is, this was a super-small third-year con in RI that's really just a ballroom full of WarmaHordes with three hallways of vendors, game demos, and open gaming. Captaincon?
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Feb 9, 2016 02:47
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Slimnoid posted:Captaincon? That's the one. I was supposed to run two RPG events but nobody showed for either one. I did get to play a bunch of board games with a cool group of guys. I finally got to play Caverna, Codenames, Student Bodies, some skyship trader game I can't remember the name of, and a few other things I can't really remember off the top of my head.
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Feb 9, 2016 02:52
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Evil Mastermind posted:That's the one. I was supposed to run two RPG events but nobody showed for either one. Which out of the list do you think is a must-buy? I've been looking out for new games for my group, since we can only play so much Ticket to Ride and Ascension before it gets stale.
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Feb 9, 2016 02:53
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Caverna was really fun. It's just a chill enjoyable game of building a little farm and cave network, and while it's sort of competitive being a worker placement game, there's very little pressure to get the "best" setup. We played with three people and it went pretty quick. Codenames is just goofy fun, but you need a lot of people to really make it work. Student Bodies is a sort-of-co-op game where you play a bunch of high school students racing through a hallway full of zombies to reach a lab with antidotes for your zombie bites, then you have to fight your way back through the hallway to the fire exit...where the first person through locks the door behind them. So it's more involuntary co-op, in the "I'm going to shove you over there so you block the zombies for me, thanks" way. One cool thing in this is that if your character dies before you get the antidote, you become a "smart zombie" and can start killing the other players. Out of those three, though, I'd go with Caverna for a small group and Codenames for a larger one. Student Bodies is still good, but you need to be pretty cutthroat. ...wow, why can't I remember the other games I played? I know I played a bunch.
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Feb 9, 2016 03:00
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:The reason people should say MyFarog is bad should be more of the fact it has a table for different swimming speed checks than the fact that you are an aryan pagan superman with swastika tats that fights mudpeople who have a strangely semitic faith about a christ-like figure. It's also entirely in Papyrus. Today's Nazis just aren't as design savvy as they used to be.
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Feb 9, 2016 03:02
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Lightning Lord posted:It's also entirely in Papyrus. Today's Nazis just aren't as design savvy as they used to be. Standards have dropped everywhere 
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Feb 9, 2016 03:13
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Lightning Lord posted:It's also entirely in Papyrus. Today's Nazis just aren't as design savvy as they used to be. No, that's entirely in keeping with fascist aesthetic sense.
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Feb 9, 2016 03:24
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ProfessorCirno posted:I dunno why you'd be angry about this EM. If the book literally has no redeeming qualities at all - no hidden gem buried under the cruft, not even enough to make it interesting or fun to mock - there's no potential to be sad about. The book is, well, meaningless and pointless.
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Feb 9, 2016 03:45
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Evil Mastermind posted:Caverna was really fun. It's just a chill enjoyable game of building a little farm and cave network, and while it's sort of competitive being a worker placement game, there's very little pressure to get the "best" setup. We played with three people and it went pretty quick. I'll run Caverna along to my friends. We got introduced to Agricola by...'special' people, and while we played that a few times it was always with said people and it kind of soured our view on the game a little. Still, it seems pretty interesting going by what I'm looking up, so if we can just find a copy that's not horribly priced we'll pick it up.
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Feb 9, 2016 04:14
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From what the guys I played with said, Caverna takes the ideas of Agricola and improves them for faster play. Like, you don't have to spend a whole turn to get one food off one farmland.
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Feb 9, 2016 04:19
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This is pretty cool. Someone make a game out of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2xz3do5_bY
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Feb 9, 2016 04:42
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Lightning Lord posted:It's also entirely in Papyrus. Today's Nazis just aren't as design savvy as they used to be. Not on the good old pseudorune font that the Nazis used? Cripes.
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Feb 9, 2016 11:49
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