UKMT February 2016 - UKMT is a forum of self-harm

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2016 - UKMT is a forum of self-harm

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Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Puntification posted:

Is a moustache still a moustache if it's part of a beard?

Only if it is separately distinct, like the Tsar Nicholas.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 15:55

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# ? May 2, 2024 07:01

Fans: Jun 27, 2013; A reptile dysfunction

Cameron was proper poo poo in PMQ's today. Trying to blame poor cancer survival rates on Welsh Assembly NHS cuts (And thus Labour's problem, not his) not realizing that Wales has the best cancer survival rates in the UK.

Then Stella Creasy tried to call Cameron out on PFI deals, forgetting those were Blairs thing. Well she wasn't around for it I guess, but loving hell she's good at punching her own party in the kidneys.

Fans fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Feb 3, 2016

# ? Feb 3, 2016 15:58

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Fans posted:

Then Stella Creasy tried to call Cameron out on PFI deals, forgetting those were Blairs thing. It's got to be a sad time to be a Blairite, they used to be slick.

They're actually a Major thing, he passed them in 1992. Harriet Harman decried it as an attack on public services at the time. How things change.

Guavanaut posted:

Only if it is separately distinct, like the Tsar Nicholas.

For the record, he was Imperator Nicholas. Russia stopped being a Tsardom in the 1700s, despite the mistaken use of it since.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:01

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Fans posted:

Then Stella Creasy tried to call Cameron out on PFI deals, forgetting those were Blairs thing. Well she wasn't around for it I guess, but loving hell she's good at punching her own party in the kidneys.

Blair needs a punch in the kidneys.

Tesseraction posted:

For the record, he was Imperator Nicholas. Russia stopped being a Tsardom in the 1700s, despite the mistaken use of it since.

I thought they kept the use of the monarchial title even when they stopped being a Tsardom?
He's better known under the title of Corpse though :ussr:

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:10

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

I would like to visit the Church on Blood. Might sit in it and read some Lenin.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:12

Pork Pie Hat: Apr 27, 2011

Malcolm XML posted:

you also have the right to opt back in w/ at most 3 months notice so you can always sign it then once you have the job opt back in

Oh this was ages and ages ago. I've never signed the thing anywhere I've worked since.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:16

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

just lol at this

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/feb/03/dwp-post-amazon-chief-disgusting-margaret-hodge

quote:

The Labour MP and tax campaigner Margaret Hodge has described as �disgusting� a plan to give an executive of Amazon, one of the companies at the centre of an intensifying row over taxes, a directorship at the Department of Work and Pensions.

Hodge was responding to the news, first revealed by Sky News, that Amazon�s head of Chinese operations, Doug Gurr, is to become a non-executive director of the DWP. The DWP said it would issue a statement, which was not available at the time of publication. Amazon declined to comment.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:46

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

So that's Amazon AND Google the tories have given a reach-around to in the past week.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:48

Praseodymi: Aug 26, 2010

Tesseraction posted:

So that's Amazon AND Google the tories have given a reach-around to in the past week.

Does that metaphor work? Wouldn't that imply they were loving them to begin with?

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:52

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

You know I never really thought about it before.

I suppose if you were just hugging someone from behind you could reach-around a tugjob.

Let's pretend I just said handjob.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:54

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Maybe they're wanking off Amazon and Google while they're loving the workers, so that neither of them get soft when it's their turn.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:56

Puntification: Nov 4, 2009; Black Orthodontromancy
The most British Magic; Fun Shoe

lol

http://morningstaronline.co.uk/a-c321-Watchdog-probes-Danczuk-for-fiddling-kids-expenses#.VrIjG171FCV

# ? Feb 3, 2016 16:57

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Puntification posted:

lol

http://morningstaronline.co.uk/a-c321-Watchdog-probes-Danczuk-for-fiddling-kids-expenses#.VrIjG171FCV

Ahhh, the power of text wrap and window size coincidence:

# ? Feb 3, 2016 17:01

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

Tesseraction posted:

I would like to visit the Church on Blood. Might sit in it and read some Lenin.

It looks silly, don't bother.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 17:16

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Serotonin posted:

This thread needs more fascists and liberals. That will make it better

I tried.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 17:21

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

The Saurus posted:

I tried.

I hope you get a brain tumour and end up with locked in syndrome.

Then they cure the tumour and just leave you there.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:01

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:03

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Regarde Aduck posted:

I hope you get a brain tumour and end up with locked in syndrome.

Then they cure the tumour and just leave you there.

hahaha

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:04

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

>:(

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:05

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

The Saurus posted:

I tried.

You're the one immigrant that's not welcome.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:06

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

Puntification posted:

lol

http://morningstaronline.co.uk/a-c321-Watchdog-probes-Danczuk-for-fiddling-kids-expenses#.VrIjG171FCV

lol that possessive apostrophe is a work of art.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:18

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Ahahah holy poo poo that is the best headline.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:25

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

That is a work of typographic art.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:30

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

i have a feeling that someone knew what they were doing with that

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:31

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

The Saurus posted:

I tried.

Which were you again?

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:46

Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

That's a very unfortunate line break.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:49

Niric: Jul 23, 2008

Jose posted:

just lol at this

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/feb/03/dwp-post-amazon-chief-disgusting-margaret-hodge

Huh, I'd never really considered the idea of government departments having directorships before. Just out of curiosity, I had a look at the non-executive directors for the Department of Culture, Media & Sport, to see the kind of dynamic individuals drafted in from the private sector, people with a passion for the expression of human experience, whose wide-ranging skills and backgrounds will inform a nuanced understanding of 21st century British identity and the contemporary cultural and sporting landscape:

Non-executive directors
Ajay Chowdhury

quote:

Biography

Ajay Chowdhury is Partner and Managing Director at BCG Digital Ventures. Prior to that he was CEO of Seatwave, a European online ticketing marketplace that was sold to Ticketmaster. Prior to this, he was CEO of ComQi, a global omni-channel retail technology company before which he co-founded IDG Ventures Europe, a $100m European venture capital fund. At IDGVE he was the founder investor and Chairman of Shazam, a $1bn mobile audio recognition company and also invested in and served on the board of Lionhead, a games developer, sold to Microsoft.

Prior to IDGVE he was CEO of LineOne - a joint venture between United News and Media and British Telecom - which he grew into one of the UK�s largest portals and ISP�s. At UNM was founder and Managing Director of its internet division, before which he was a manager at Bain & Company. Ajay has an MBA from Wharton and studied drama at the Central School of Speech and Drama.

Not actually a bad start, all things considered. He ran an "online ticketing marketplace," which seems relevant to the commercial aspects of culture and sport, and "broadband delivery" comes under the remit of DCMS, so the tech angle is potentially useful. He did also study drama and, uh, sat on the board of a computer games company, so seems a solid-ish pick.

Neil Mendoza

quote:

Biography

Neil Mendoza started working life as a banker at JP Morgan in New York before moving to film finance. He co-founded the pioneering publishing agency, Forward, later sold to WPP. He has spent much of his career as an entrepreneur in a number of industry sectors including film, design, marketing and software. He is Chairman of Victoria Private Investment Office, an investment advisory firm. He is a publishing consultant to Patek Philippe.

Neil recently joined the board of Meira GTx, a new gene therapeutics company in New York. He is also Chairman of The Landmark Trust, a Commissioner at Historic England, Chairman of Children and the Arts and Vice-Chairman of Soho Theatre.

Ok, so he was a banker with JP Morgan and chairman of "an investment advisory firm", but moving into film finance clearly suggests he's left the world of tax-avoidance and dodgy deals.

That "pioneering publishing company" sounds interesting, I wonder what kind of visionary poetry, prose or drama they've been responsible for disseminating, what kind of innovative and boundary-pushing work they've nurtured and mid-wifed into the world?

quote:

At Forward Worldwide we believe in the power of content to increase the value of brands. But, frankly, �content� as a term does not do justice to the work we do for our clients. What we create is GLORIOUS EDITORIAL.

Oh.

Hang on though, they were sold to WPP. Maybe it's a classic case of a radical small publisher being swallowed up and losing its sou-

quote:

We caught WPP�s eye in 2001, when they promptly bought us. Nothing much changed � we carried on happily doing our thing

Oh.

But at least he's chairman of an arts charity and vice-chairman of a theatre, so he probably at least likes culture.

Sir David Verey

quote:

Biography

Sir David Verey started his working life at investment bankers Lazard Brothers in 1972, rising to Director in 1983 and Chairman from 1990 to 2001. He remains a Senior Adviser at Lazards but has also held positions on the board of Pearson plc (1996-2000), Cazenove (2001-2), Blackstone UK (2004-8), the Daily Mail and General Trust (2004-14) and LMS Capital plc (2009-12). He has been on the Board of Sofina SA since 2004 and became Chairman in 2014. He has also been a member of the Supervisory Board of Bank Gutmann since 2002.

Sir David has a strong interest in philanthropy, particularly arts philanthropy. He was on the Board of Tate from 1992 to 2004, serving as Chair from 1998-2003. He then chaired ArtFund from 2004-14. Since 2013 he has chaired the Advisory Committee on the Government Art Collection and in 2014 he joined the Board of the British Council. Sir David was knighted in the 2015 New Year Honours for services to arts philanthropy.

In 2010 Sir David Verey was invited to become the lead Non- Executive Director at DCMS by Lord Browne, who was charged with appointing non-executive Directors to strengthen commercial expertise across Government Departments.

In his capacity of lead NEBM, Sir David attends a number of Boards as well individual meetings with the Permanent Secretary and has also undertaken a review of Public Appointments

Another investment banker. Huh. To be fair, he was on the board of a variety of big name arts/media institutions like the Tate, Pearson plc (massive publisher of educational material and, until very recently, the FT) and the Daily Mail. To be unfair, his euphemistic purpose is to "strengthen commercial expertise" and he was on the board of the Daily Mail.

Fields Wicker-Miurin OBE

quote:

Biography

Fields was a non-executive at the Ministry of Justice (MOJ).

That's literally all it says. Fortunately, the friendly bankers at BNP Paribas have a bit more information:

quote:

On 11 May 2011, the General Meeting of BNP Paribas appointed Fields Wicker-Miurin OBE (Officer of the British Empire) as Director of the Board for three years. She will be an independent member of the Board of Directors.

Fields Wicker-Miurin OBE, aged 52, a British national, is the co-founder and a partner of Leaders' Quest, where she leads the Strategic Advisory Council. Leaders' Quest is an international social entreprise whose purpose is be a catalyst for positive change through its work with leaders from different sectors and from around the world.

Fields Wicker-Miurin's own interest in leadership has developed over an international business career spanning different industries and countries, and never following a linear or traditional path. Over a career spanning some 25 years, she is perhaps best-known for her time in a leadership position at the London Stock Exchange. She has served on the boards of several companies operating in a range of sectors internationally, including media, property, insurance and investment banking, and has worked in strategy consulting, banking and venture capital. Previously she was an Expert Advisor to the European Union on financial services harmonisation and a member of the NASDAQ Technology Council.

So yet another investment banker.

And one non-executive director, because it seems informative:
Director - Media, International, Gambling and Creative Economy
Hugh Harris

quote:

Biography

Hugh was appointed Director of Media, International, Gambling & Creative Industries at the Department for Culture, Media & Sport (DCMS) in February 2015. He has held prior positions in HM Treasury (2002-2007; 2013-15), No 10 Policy Unit (2010-2013); Prime Minister�s Strategy Unit (2009-2010); NM Rothschild (2007-2009); Confederation of British Industry (1998-2000) and The Economist Publications (1998). He has a Masters in Public Administration from the Harvard Kennedy School, where he studied as a Kennedy scholar (2000-2002), and a first class degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics from Magdalen College, Oxford (1994-97).

Who would've guessed the investment banking industry had so much to teach us about culture, media and sport?

Niric fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Feb 3, 2016

# ? Feb 3, 2016 18:50

breadshaped: Apr 1, 2010; Soiled Meat

Guavanaut posted:

Another big problem with the free movement of labor within the EU is that it essentially creates a two tier migration system, where one group of people (who are, coincidentally, over 90% white) are allowed free movement within this club, whereas everyone else in the world (who are, also coincidentally, about 90% not) are told to gently caress off by a combination of explicit EU rules and perverse incentives for member states to reduce non-EU immigration.
EU policy is essentially a big "no blacks or Asians" sign but it's in 24 different languages so it can claim to be multicultural.

A friend of mine is a white English expat living and working in Malta. But he gets very upset with how 'English culture' is being eroded by foreign people coming there to live/work. He doesn't like it when I confront him about the irony.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:00

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

Niric posted:

Who would've guessed the investment banking industry had so much to teach us about culture, media and sport?

I for one am glad that so many of the glorious ubermenschen have graciously volunteered to grace the rest of us with a mere fraction of their formidable abilities :britain:

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:06

Fans: Jun 27, 2013; A reptile dysfunction

Wait you mean there's a use for culture, media and sport that isn't about making money? Not in our world son.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:20

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Bedshaped posted:

A friend of mine is a white English expat living and working in Malta. But he gets very upset with how 'English culture' is being eroded by foreign people coming there to live/work. He doesn't like it when I confront him about the irony.

Yeah, there's a lot of petty xenophobia within the EU between the various member states, especially those like Britain or France who believe that they have some sort of monopoly on culture. But they can have that internal attitude and also a shittier attitude towards migrants from Africa, Asia, etc. as a whole superstate. There's more than enough European shittiness to go around.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:21

Malcolm XML: Aug 8, 2009; I always knew it would end like ｔｈｉｓ．

Niric posted:

Huh, I'd never really considered the idea of government departments having directorships before. Just out of curiosity, I had a look at the non-executive directors for the Department of Culture, Media & Sport, to see the kind of dynamic individuals drafted in from the private sector, people with a passion for the expression of human experience, whose wide-ranging skills and backgrounds will inform a nuanced understanding of 21st century British identity and the contemporary cultural and sporting landscape:

Non-executive directors
Ajay Chowdhury

Not actually a bad start, all things considered. He ran an "online ticketing marketplace," which seems relevant to the commercial aspects of culture and sport, and "broadband delivery" comes under the remit of DCMS, so the tech angle is potentially useful. He did also study drama and, uh, sat on the board of a computer games company, so seems a solid-ish pick.

Neil Mendoza

Ok, so he was a banker with JP Morgan and chairman of "an investment advisory firm", but moving into film finance clearly suggests he's left the world of tax-avoidance and dodgy deals.

That "pioneering publishing company" sounds interesting, I wonder what kind of visionary poetry, prose or drama they've been responsible for disseminating, what kind of innovative and boundary-pushing work they've nurtured and mid-wifed into the world?

Oh.

Hang on though, they were sold to WPP. Maybe it's a classic case of a radical small publisher being swallowed up and losing its sou-

Oh.

But at least he's chairman of an arts charity and vice-chairman of a theatre, so he probably at least likes culture.

Sir David Verey

Another investment banker. Huh. To be fair, he was on the board of a variety of big name arts/media institutions like the Tate, Pearson plc (massive publisher of educational material and, until very recently, the FT) and the Daily Mail. To be unfair, his euphemistic purpose is to "strengthen commercial expertise" and he was on the board of the Daily Mail.

Fields Wicker-Miurin OBE

That's literally all it says. Fortunately, the friendly bankers at BNP Paribas have a bit more information:

So yet another investment banker.

And one non-executive director, because it seems informative:
Director - Media, International, Gambling and Creative Economy
Hugh Harris

Who would've guessed the investment banking industry had so much to teach us about culture, media and sport?

preparing for a spinoff

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:36

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

Exciting news, ATOS have been replaced by bus drivers who will just eyeball you and decide if you're disabled or not.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35478610

# ? Feb 3, 2016 19:53

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

nigel garage's signature features an inverted cross

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:27

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

is he the anti christ?

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:28

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

Gonzo McFee posted:

Exciting news, ATOS have been replaced by bus drivers who will just eyeball you and decide if you're disabled or not.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35478610

Maybe the DWP can give that bus driver a non-executive directorship.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:29

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

JFairfax posted:

nigel garage's signature features an inverted cross

Nah they just captured it halfway finished.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:34

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Always knew that Nige was secretly in a black metal band in his spare time.

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:35

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Guavanaut posted:

Nah they just captured it halfway finished.

someone do the needful and put this back on their website where I got the original from

# ? Feb 3, 2016 20:43

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# ? May 2, 2024 07:01

StoneOfShame: Jul 28, 2013; This is the best kitchen ever.

Coohoolin posted:

It looks silly, don't bother.

Assuming Tesseraction meant the Church of the Saviour on Spilled Blood then this post is wrong I couldn't be cooler, go to St Petersburg everyone. If the other Church on Blood was meant, I've not been, but from pics it still looks quite cool.

StoneOfShame fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Feb 3, 2016

# ? Feb 3, 2016 21:12

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2016 - UKMT is a forum of self-harm

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