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  • Locked thread
John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Really?

Capntastic posted:

Andy Kaufman was entertaining because he wasn't very regular at all

My favorite Kaufman bit was when he just showed people pictures of boats with names like The SS Poop with no context or setup.

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Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014
Blame it on Outer Space (Run by one of the guys from the We Hate Movies podcast) Did a hilarious short form podcast with the guys from WHM on the anniversary of Andy Kaufman's death. I think it's one of the funniest things they ever produced. http://www.blameitonouterspace.com/2014/05/andy-kaufman-lives.html

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

John Dyne posted:

My favorite Kaufman bit was when he just showed people pictures of boats with names like The SS Poop with no context or setup.

You know, the thought of some beautiful 100-foot yacht being called, like, the SS Turds or something is sorta funny. I just don't know if it'd work with a regular boat, much less 8-10 regular boats one right after the other becaue really, it's just the one kinda middling joke.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com
Up to 2K on Facebook alone! Thanks to all my "Vice President Babies" on the forums -- couldn't have done it without the fans!

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Asterios posted:

Up to 2K on Facebook alone! Thanks to all my "Vice President Babies" on the forums -- couldn't have done it without the fans!



Aww that's sweet.

I HATE SWEET. I NEED PHOTOS.

PHOTOS OF LOWTAX.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Regulation Size posted:

Aww that's sweet.

I HATE SWEET. I NEED PHOTOS.

PHOTOS OF LOWTAX.

Woebin
Feb 6, 2006



Feels good.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Woebin posted:



Feels good.

My next article is going to be your username in a toilet on a gravestone on a boat.

Davoren
Aug 14, 2003

The devil you say!

Keep rolling with the punches.

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014

Asterios posted:

My next article is going to be your username in a toilet on a gravestone on a boat.

How come you are so entertaining on the forums but so bland on the front page? Also, congrats on your 2000th like. You just can't put a dollar value on an achievement like that.

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Did he ever mention how much the fee was?

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014
Nope, because he was never really going to pay anyone to write an article. It was all about playing Billy-big-balls and offering us mere mortals a taste of the Godhead

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Lonos Oboe posted:

Nope, because he was never really going to pay anyone to write an article. It was all about playing Billy-big-balls and offering us mere mortals a taste of the Godhead

I've actually always wondered how much lowtax pays tbh. Also obligatory request for mods to change my name to Billy-big-balls.

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014
It's a Dublin saying. Try it with an Irish accent. It tastes great!

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

Nope, because he was never really going to pay anyone to write an article. It was all about playing Billy-big-balls and offering us mere mortals a taste of the Godhead

As a guy who took over a decade to finally get an audition for the site, I thought it would be cool to try and find a new voice. When I think of someone like g0m, he was like, the funniest loving guy on the forums. I thought it would be cool to find someone else like that -- a really funny goon who never got the chance to give the front page format a spin.

But please, feel free to continue to use a genuine offer to attack a guy trying to drive traffic and ad revenue to this dead, gay website.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

How come you are so entertaining on the forums but so bland on the front page? Also, congrats on your 2000th like. You just can't put a dollar value on an achievement like that.

Actually you can, because that's literally how the internet works, dumbass!

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Asterios posted:

As a guy who took over a decade to finally get an audition for the site, I thought it would be cool to try and find a new voice. When I think of someone like g0m, he was like, the funniest loving guy on the forums. I thought it would be cool to find someone else like that -- a really funny goon who never got the chance to give the front page format a spin.

But please, feel free to continue to use a genuine offer to attack a guy trying to drive traffic and ad revenue to this dead, gay website.

Thank you for being sincere and responding to criticism

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Capntastic posted:

Thank you for being sincere and responding to criticism

It's hard because there's no right way to talk to goons. You act sincere, they make fun of you for effortposting. You shitpost, they call you insincere. It's almost like these forums are filled with people in their 30's and 40's who have serious emotional problems.

UNLIKE ME

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Asterios posted:

It's hard because there's no right way to talk to goons.

UNLIKE ME

Totally agree but I feel like people who are gonna post in this of all withered swamp tree subforums are gonna have some legit drive to be real about their criticism.

Doesn't mean you gotta concede to people but engaging with them is fair I think

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Capntastic posted:

Totally agree but I feel like people who are gonna post in this of all withered swamp tree subforums are gonna have some legit drive to be real about their criticism.

Doesn't mean you gotta concede to people but engaging with them is fair I think

I think any claims that I'm unfunny are 100% legit, because my parents have been screaming that at me since I was four. I just straight up disagree when people mock entire formats -- calling relevant headline driven essays "clickbait" or calling graphical content "lazy." It's 2016. I'm trying to drive traffic using formats that work best on facebook mobile and reddit.

Still doesn't mean it's gonna be funny, of course. Some people are gonna find everything I do unfunny just because they want to. Some people are gonna think I'm unfunny because they have very good taste in jokes. But I like these formats, and the viewcounts prove me out.

This ghostbusters thing is a good example. Some people don't like dumb absurdist speech patterns, and that's totally valid. Some people don't like the idea of the "every x" premise -- that's also valid, but it works online, because people are familiar with this premise. This article got a shitload of traffic, and driving traffic is my job, not catering to the very small userbase who still visits SA every morning. I've gotta fish where the fish are -- facebook mobile & reddit, which are filled with way less seasoned comedy fans!

And then some people just think it's not funny and there's no arguing with that! It would be weird to even try.

Asterios fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Dec 16, 2016

100YrsofAttitude
Apr 29, 2013




Asterios posted:

This article got a shitload of traffic, and driving traffic is my job, not catering to the very small userbase who still visits SA every morning.

To be fair, if that's how you see your job and writing, then yeah, you've done a great job. And I wouldn't take the criticism of funny or not that personally, like Lonos Oboe and yourself have pointed out, it's really subjective. Your style is different from most of the writers on the site, and that's fine. Maybe the majority of us will never get used to it or care much for it but that's life.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

100YrsofAttitude posted:

To be fair, if that's how you see your job and writing, then yeah, you've done a great job. And I wouldn't take the criticism of funny or not that personally, like Lonos Oboe and yourself have pointed out, it's really subjective. Your style is different from most of the writers on the site, and that's fine. Maybe the majority of us will never get used to it or care much for it but that's life.

I'm writing a giant book right now that's a parody of TekWar that nobody will ever buy. It's just too goofy and hard to market, and nobody knows or cares what TekWar is anymore. I even got Brent Spiner's permission to use his name and likeness, and trust me: nobody will care. I'm gonna put it out, and nobody will buy it, but I'll be happy.

That's how I spend my own money. But this is Lowtax's money, and I want him to get a crazy good return on his investment. I want insane hits and ad views and traffic and engagement. Rich, Zack, BobServo, Livestock, g0m - these guys are heroes of mine. I wanna help the site thrive.

I don't always do a good job at this. I'm a very overstretched and exhausted person. I don't love every piece I post here -- I really wanted to put more time into the last flight of boat graphics, but I ran out of time. I work an advertising job all day, write and produce comedy for a shitload of different sources all night, go to bed at like 3am, wake up at 9 and...jesus christ, my life is like a giant, living hell. I'm trying to stay ahead of alimony, medical debt, and taking care of my family -- some of whom are genuinely disabled and cannot work. Sometimes I wonder if I'll die before I finish anything good because I spent so much time trying to stay financially afloat, but this is kinda my life, and I've gotta play the hand I've been dealt.

The easy thing to do would be to just abandon comedy and focus up on being a successful advertising guy. But I think I'd die then too. This poo poo is hard, but I don't know what else to do.

That being said, I actually liked that Trump/Palpatine piece, because I spend a shitload of time with the alt-right, and they all keep telling me everything's gonna be OK and not to worry. I have no idea why they think this. If Trump repeals Obamacare, I won't be able to get health insurance due to numerous pre-existing conditions. And when I bring that up, they're always like, "Eh, don't worry, he won't do that!"

And it's like, "How the gently caress do they know this? And why are they being so casual about, literally, my life?"

Asterios fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Dec 16, 2016

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014
I tried to make a legitimate post and explain why I believe people feel the way they do. You replied in an obnoxious, "look at me, I'm great, I am ignoring the haters!" post. You have regularly acted the jackass to people posting in this thread. Some being jerks, some being the usual brand of goon jerk where it's a gentle ribbing with no ill will, the kind you just ignore and maybe laugh at. And others who tried to actually talk to you. No one is impressed with your book or your likes and you empty posting them strikes me and many others as you being a arrogant, smarmy jackass. I am not attacking you. I am trying to loving help you and you act like an entitled dick head. Me, like many others have been on this site for more than 15 years and some of us also write for a living. You basically admitted that you are proud of writing so called "clickbait" cool! Obviously some people like it. But the people in this thread don't for the most part and you have no right to insult or try and belittle us because of that. Either engage with the critics on an adult level or gently caress off and write your articles and collect your check and let us criticise you in peace.

Edit: I totally understand you have a life and all the problems in it. We all do. But just cop on dude. Like I said. We are saying this poo poo because we care enough to. And take my professional advice. You can burn out at this poo poo. You may think what you are putting out is still funny and good. But if you are hell for leather with writing and horrible poo poo at home then you need to focus that energy and dump the stuff that doesn't get you ahead. And you need to ruthless to yourself about that.

Lonos Oboe fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Dec 16, 2016

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

I tried to make a legitimate post and explain why I believe people feel the way they do. You replied in an obnoxious, "look at me, I'm great, I am ignoring the haters!" post. You have regularly acted the jackass to people posting in this thread. Some being jerks, some being the usual brand of goon jerk where it's a gentle ribbing with no ill will, the kind you just ignore and maybe laugh at. And others who tried to actually talk to you. No one is impressed with your book or your likes and you empty posting them strikes me and many others as you being a arrogant, smarmy jackass. I am not attacking you. I am trying to loving help you and you act like an entitled dick head. Me, like many others have been on this site for more than 15 years and some of us also write for a living. You basically admitted that you are proud of writing so called "clickbait" cool! Obviously some people like it. But the people in this thread don't for the most part and you have no right to insult or try and belittle us because of that. Either engage with the critics on an adult level or gently caress off and write your articles and collect your check and let us criticise you in peace.

Yeah, you sound like a super adult critic who I would get a ton of great lessons from, I should probably be more respectful to the people in a thread literally designed to take a dump on my career.

We're goons. gently caress off if you can't handle it.

Also, a shitload of people are impressed with my book. It's going to second printing, I was interviewed about it for io9, and premiered it at new york comic con to a sold out panel. You just don't care about it, which is probably better for my mental health, because you sound like a loving handful.

Asterios fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Dec 16, 2016

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014

Asterios posted:

Yeah, you sound like a super adult critic who I would get a ton of great lessons from, I should probably be more respectful to the people in a thread literally designed to take a dump on my career.

We're goons. gently caress off if you can't handle it.

Also, a shitload of people are impressed with my book. It's going to second printing, I was interviewed about it for io9, and premiered it at new york comic con to a sold out panel. You just don't care about it, which is probably better for my mental health, because you sound like a loving handful.

I tried man. Please check my edit after seeing your post. I loving tried. I am out of this thread. If you really read my posts and what I said, you would have seen that I think it's great you are successful and everyone has to start somewhere and all your achievements are worth celebrating. Not jamming in people's faces as if it invalidates their criticism You have a deep, deep insecurity about yourself that you need to lose, because you will be eaten alive and burn out like a lot of writers I know.

Lonos Oboe fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Dec 16, 2016

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

I tried man. Please check my edit after seeing your post. I loving tried. I am out of this thread

Oh no, what will a thread called "President Baby needs to stop" do without you, please, come back, take an even bigger dump, I swear I can change

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Maybe we just aren't the best audience for your style. It's okay, it happens. (My style wouldn't fit in here either tbh.)

Pittsburgh Lambic
Feb 16, 2011
fyi man, that "my life is a living hell" post is what goons commonly refer to as a meltdown

take a break from your writing to re-assess the direction your life has taken, and whether you want to actually continue trying to make a career out of writing vast quantities of things that you hate writing for a pittance

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Pittsburgh Lambic posted:

fyi man, that "my life is a living hell" post is what goons commonly refer to as a meltdown

take a break from your writing to re-assess the direction your life has taken, and whether you want to actually continue trying to make a career out of writing vast quantities of things that you hate writing for a pittance

Eh, but comedy's too much fun!

You guys accused me of being glib and above it, so I'm trying to be super, duper honest with you and see what happens. If you guys act like jerks about it, I'll just go back to being glib and shitposting and I'll have learned my lesson: don't try and genuinely emotionally engage.

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014
See, you cry "goons are mean" and I try and real talk and you act like a goon and go for making fun of me. Dude, have you ever had work you have loving bled over and worked on for weeks get torn apart in a writers room? Most writers I know are grateful for honest criticism. Which you got in this thread. Like I said: people criticise because they loving CARE about the poo poo you write. If they didn't, they would skip your articles

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Aubergine Mage posted:

Maybe we just aren't the best audience for your style. It's okay, it happens. (My style wouldn't fit in here either tbh.)

I think the people in this thread aren't, but if the job was to only entertain the goons on the something awful forums then everything I wrote would be about Ctrl+Alt+Del, Star Citizen, and creating the new Slenderman. I want to bring in new people who fall in love with the SA archives, the other posters, the whole awesome culture of SA.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

See, you cry "goons are mean" and I try and real talk and you act like a goon go for making fun of me. Dude, have you ever had work you have loving bled over and worked on for weeks get torn apart in a writers room? Most writers I know are grateful for honest criticism. Which you got in this thread. Like I said: people criticise because they loving CARE about the shot you write. If they didn't, they would skip your articles

OK, teach me a lesson about my writing. Bring it. I'm listening.

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


And trust me, I've been there with my own life. Just take a step back, reassess things, and dump the work that isn't fulfilling/is too much of a mental overload. I hate writing and editing for content mills, and I love writing bits and sketches. Once I started writing more of that for my comedian friends, I ended up being a lot happier. Dumped all the listicle poo poo I was writing and focused on what made me happy. (And also, this is nothing compared to what I'm used to seeing in a writer's room.)

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Aubergine Mage posted:

And trust me, I've been there with my own life. Just take a step back, reassess things, and dump the work that isn't fulfilling/is too much of a mental overload. I hate writing and editing for content mills, and I love writing bits and sketches. Once I started writing more of that for my comedian friends, I ended up being a lot happier. Dumped all the listicle poo poo I was writing and focused on what made me happy. (And also, this is nothing compared to what I'm used to seeing in a writer's room.)

I had a loving blast writing that last Palpatine article. I stayed up until 4am, and I was really jazzed. When I woke up, it had already gotten a ton of Facebook likes and it hadn't even been promoted by me or the site, which meant that the harcore SA audience read it before the normies woke up and dug it.

But then you look at this thread, and people are calling it a huge piece of poo poo -- which is totally their right -- but I think this thread can be a bit of an echo chamber. I mean, it's literally called, "President baby needs to stop." I think it's easy to go "hurr hurr he's calling trump hitler" instead of actually reading the piece.

Again: that's different than someone calling it unfunny. gently caress, I can't argue with that! I think I can be pretty loving unfunny sometimes.

Not everything I write I'm proud of, because not every joke works, period. I'm a stand-up as well, and sometimes you're just not gonna get the laughs no matter what you do. But when I get lucky and knock out something I like, it makes me really happy.

Lonos Oboe
Jun 7, 2014

Aubergine Mage posted:

And trust me, I've been there with my own life. Just take a step back, reassess things, and dump the work that isn't fulfilling/is too much of a mental overload. I hate writing and editing for content mills, and I love writing bits and sketches. Once I started writing more of that for my comedian friends, I ended up being a lot happier. Dumped all the listicle poo poo I was writing and focused on what made me happy.

This is valuable advice. Wish I knew this starting out

Asterios posted:

OK, teach me a lesson about my writing. Bring it. I'm listening.

I already did. And can we defuse the agro? My advice and many others has been about your attitude to people in this thread. As I mentioned, you came across as a jackass with some of those posts and the defensive nature. No one here knows you. Any personal criticism means nothing. I could call you a cock sucker but so what? Maybe you are gay and you love sucking your partners cock. Doesn't mean poo poo. All I am saying is dial it back. There is obviously plenty of people who love your work. And plenty who really hate it. gently caress it dude, as long as we read it. As some of the posters above and me have been saying. If you are unhappy with what you are doing, change it up! Write what you want to. Not what you know will sell.


The thread name seems to really bother you. But only the op called it that. Very few people are saying it. Why not look at it as president baby being the lovely click bait you want to stop writing and maybe see it as Asterios starting

Lonos Oboe fucked around with this message at 23:43 on Dec 16, 2016

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Asterios posted:

I had a loving blast writing that last Palpatine article. I stayed up until 4am, and I was really jazzed. When I woke up, it had already gotten a ton of Facebook likes and it hadn't even been promoted by me or the site, which meant that the harcore SA audience read it before the normies woke up.

But then you look at this thread, and people are calling it a huge piece of poo poo -- which is totally their right -- but I think this thread can be a bit of an echo chamber. I mean, it's literally called, "President baby needs to stop."

Not everything I write I'm proud of, because not every joke works, period. I'm a stand-up as well, and sometimes you're just not gonna get the laughs no matter what you do. But when I get lucky and knock out something I like, it makes me really happy.

You're gonna have to get used to this kind of thing. Writers' rooms are more brutal than this thread is. The best advice I can give you is not to take it personally. You might want to look at changing your style a little (for example, the graphic posts fall really flat with me; the jokes just seem lazy and rushed.) I did like the Palpatine article, but it came right after Zack's, and that's a really hard standard to match.

It might take a while, but I think you'll figure it all out.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Lonos Oboe posted:

This is valuable advice. Wish I knew this starting out


I already did. And can we defuse the agro? My advice and many others has been about your attitude to people in this thread. As I mentioned, you came across as a jackass with some of those posts and the defensive nature. No one here knows you. Any personal criticism means nothing. I could call you a cock sucker but so what? Maybe you are gay and you love sucking your partners cock. Doesn't mean poo poo. All I am saying is dial it back. There is obviously plenty of people who love your work. And plenty who really hate it. gently caress it dude, as long as we read it. As some of the posters above and me have been saying. If you are unhappy with what you are doing, change it up! Write what you want to. Not what you know will sell.

Dude, seriously, give me one lesson right now. I swear to god I am listening.

If your lesson is "Write what you want" -- I loving love writing dumb boat and tombstone posts. I'm not writing them because I hate them. But people poo poo on the format, and I think they genuinely don't understand that the format sells.

If they think it's unfunny then there's nothing I can do, but I've had hugely successful comedians tell me how much they love the boats, they want more boats. I've done boats twice this year, and this thread acts like every single thing I post is boats!

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Aubergine Mage posted:

You're gonna have to get used to this kind of thing. Writers' rooms are more brutal than this thread is. The best advice I can give you is not to take it personally. You might want to look at changing your style a little (for example, the graphic posts fall really flat with me; the jokes just seem lazy and rushed.) I did like the Palpatine article, but it came right after Zack's, and that's a really hard standard to match.

It might take a while, but I think you'll figure it all out.

I've been in a shitload of writers rooms! I've been doing comedy since I was 12. Nobody can match Zack, he's like, the funniest guy on the internet.

If you guys just want a thread where you can poo poo on me in peace, I can totally leave. Like, what do you guys want?

If you want me to genuinely respect and engage with your opinions, I am trying to do that right this second. I swear to god, I'm turning off the act and I'm talking to you.

Asterios fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Dec 16, 2016

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Asterios posted:

I've been in a shitload of writers rooms! I've been doing comedy since I was 12. Nobody can match Zack, he's like, the funniest guy on the internet.

If you guys just want a thread where you can poo poo on me in peace, I can totally leave. Like, what do you guys want?

We're giving you advice right now dude, not making GBS threads on you. The boats might work anywhere else, but here, they get savaged. Maybe you just need to change up your writing and focus more on long-form stuff and see how it does.

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Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


Lonos Oboe posted:

This is valuable advice. Wish I knew this starting out

It took me forever to figure it out too. Content mills are great steady work but holy gently caress are they exhausting. Much more fun to write screenplays and jokes and poo poo.

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