Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

Daedra posted:

Under the guidance of noted future hall of fame coach Mike Mularkey, saint Marcus Mariota will achieve 8000 yards passing and 3000 yards rushing on the way to league MVP, superbowl MVP, and a 19-0 season.

Better yet, they fire Mularkey before the season starts, and install a coach who insures all of those other things.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

GenericMartini
Oct 22, 2012

AYYYYY PAPI
I think the Vikings have a good shot to go far next year. I may hate him but Peterson has at least 2 more good years left and I hope to win a super bowl off that.

If we draft a two good receivers and get some decent linemen I think it can be done.

I eagerly await my dreams to be crushed.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Daedra posted:

Under the guidance of noted future hall of fame coach Mike Mularkey, saint Marcus Mariota will achieve 8000 yards passing and 3000 yards rushing on the way to league MVP, superbowl MVP, and a 19-0 season.

Nah super bowl mvp is going to delanie walker after he catches 3 tipped balls for huge gains

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

The Panthers have never had consecutive winning seasons, and who knows if/how much the dreaded Super Bowl hangover will be a factor. I think they can reach double-digit wins and repeat as division champions, but I could see an early playoff exit. An 8-8 or 7-9 year wouldn't shock me, either.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

Bengals are going to win the Super Bowl

:agreed: also Vontaze Burfict will win Super Bowl MVP.

cosmic gumbo
Mar 26, 2005

IMA
  1. GRIP
  2. N
  3. SIP
Raiders win AFC West

Rams go 7-9

49ers have worst record in league/most white players

Pats don't win the AFC East

The QBs drafted in the 1st round collectively win no more than 5 games

Dey Yah
Dec 18, 2010
AFCE: Dolphins
AFCN: Steelers
AFCS: Jaguars
AFCW: Chiefs
Wildcards: Patriots, Colts

NFCE: Cowboys
NFCN: Packers
NFCS: Panthers
NFCW: Cardinals
Wildcards: Redskins, Buccaneers

Packers beat Steelers in Superbowl. Rodgers wins MVP. Tyrann Mathieu wins DPOTY. Kaepernick wins comeback player of the year after looking less like dog poo poo under Chip Kelly. Johnny Manziel has the third best passer rating in the CFL.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

Burginator posted:

The vikings to 16-0, packers go 0-16, book it.

gently caress the packers

i like the cut of your jib

Vikings will probably go 10-6 again and compete with GB for the division. Draft some O-line, a big WR, and a SS.

It will never happen but I'd love to see a Smith/Weddle safety combo :black101:

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

GenericMartini posted:

I think the Vikings have a good shot to go far next year. I may hate him but Peterson has at least 2 more good years left and I hope to win a super bowl off that.

If we draft a two good receivers and get some decent linemen I think it can be done.

I eagerly await my dreams to be crushed.


Dubious posted:

i like the cut of your jib

Vikings will probably go 10-6 again and compete with GB for the division. Draft some O-line, a big WR, and a SS.

It will never happen but I'd love to see a Smith/Weddle safety combo :black101:

I agree with all of this.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Arzakon posted:

Camolina Newtons 19-0 leading to Bob Costas suppuku at mid field after the Super Bowl then Cam dabs with President Sanders instantly ending racism and I'll be able to speak to my dad again without cringing.

The President Sanders part is the least likely.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The Patriots will go 12-4, and if they're lucky health wise, win the superbowl, otherwise they'll only get to the AFC Championship game.

I'm sure that'll stop being true at some point, but *shrug*

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Well last year I thought the Dolphins would compete for the division and the Jets would be a tire fire, so uh, I'm going to reverse that prediction and probably be wrong again.

Bills are going to have many hilarious meltdowns after all their Super Bowls and a bunch of great press conferences leading to Rex Ryan being fired for the last time. Or who knows, maybe two Ryan brothers is what it takes to equal one NFL head coach.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Lt. Frank Drebin posted:

I agree with all of this.

I don't think we need two WRs but I agree with the rest.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
the team that will have the first pick in the 2017 draft will not be the Cleveland Browns.

It will be a team who isn't even picking in the top 10 this year

YMB
Nov 8, 2009

in an unceremonious way
Eagles will go 8-8 after starting 3-7. There will be hope. It will mean nothing.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

The Texans will start slow, let's say 3-4 or 2-5, then gel out of nowhere and go on a run that sends them to a winning season only to utterly fall to pieces in the end as has become their tradition

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

RumbleFish posted:

The Panthers have never had consecutive winning seasons, and who knows if/how much the dreaded Super Bowl hangover will be a factor. I think they can reach double-digit wins and repeat as division champions, but I could see an early playoff exit. An 8-8 or 7-9 year wouldn't shock me, either.

I know it hurts to lose the superbowl but that ain't happening and you know it

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Ross Angeles posted:

the team that will have the first pick in the 2017 draft will not be the Cleveland Browns.

It will be a team who isn't even picking in the top 10 this year

Denver it is!

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Intruder posted:

The Texans will start slow, let's say 3-4 or 2-5, then gel out of nowhere and go on a run that sends them to a winning season only to utterly fall to pieces in the end as has become their tradition

No fair posting from 2017 :mad:

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

AFC West will be the Broncos again but with a 10-6 record. Hard fought. Chiefs make it through on the Wildcard by a tiebreaker.

Also Pats and Steelers earn the bye. Bengals is the last AFC Wildcard.

NFC: Panthers, Seahawks, Cards, Washington (I do, in fact, like that), Packers, and some other team that won't go anywhere, probably Tampa?
SB: Panthers v Steelers



MrLogan posted:

Except for the offense putting up 4 more points a game on average with Peyton rather than Brock.

Well Brock barely started playing and practicing this year so that's not bad. Definitely room for improvement but you gotta start somewhere.

Parmesan Basil posted:

Denver it is!

You know this means the Broncos will score a franchise QB that would've been perfect for the Chiefs but now you have to spend the next 15 years watching him clown your team

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

Parmesan Basil posted:

Denver it is!

Your eagerness to proclaim this belies your realistic fear that it's the Chiefs.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Spiros posted:

Your eagerness to proclaim this belies your realistic fear that it's the Chiefs.

It will be the Bills or Bears

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

The Bengals will sign a receiver who is reasonably well-known but whose best days are very much behind him, to replace their departing #2. He will be paid 37 million dollars over four years, and be cut after 1 season. Suggestions: Nate Washington, Hakeem Nicks, Riley Cooper

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

RumbleFish posted:

The Panthers have never had consecutive winning seasons

It is fantastic that this remains true after they earned 34.5 wins and 3 division titles in three seasons.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
This will be the first year the Bengals don't make the playoffs, and in fact they'll have a pretty bad record.

The year after that, Super Bowl.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

One of the top 5 QBs in the league will be injured in their week 1 game.

I'll take a shot in the dark and say Big Ben.

B.F. Hoodrich
May 16, 2006
welp

Arzakon posted:

Camolina Newtons 19-0 leading to Bob Costas suppuku at mid field after the Super Bowl then Cam dabs with President Sanders instantly ending racism and I'll be able to speak to my dad again without cringing.

Packers fan here but I'm

quotin

cause

I'm

down

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
Chargers will beat a team that goes to the superbowl, lose to the Dolphins, and miss the playoffs.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Atticus Finch posted:

This will be the first year the Bengals don't make the playoffs, and in fact they'll have a pretty bad record.

The year after that, Super Bowl.

What kind of drought would a fan be willing to suffer through if they knew they were going to win the Super Bowl several years later? I'm talking like Brownseseque levels of incompetence.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Feb 11, 2016

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

old dog child posted:


You know this means the Broncos will score a franchise QB that would've been perfect for the Chiefs but now you have to spend the next 15 years watching him clown your team

You guys have Osweiler and that's who you deserve.

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

Cavauro posted:

The Bengals will sign a receiver who is reasonably well-known but whose best days are very much behind him, to replace their departing #2. He will be paid 37 million dollars over four years, and be cut after 1 season. Suggestions: Nate Washington, Hakeem Nicks, Riley Cooper

Ah, the Laveranues Coles gambit, a true classic

Fate Accomplice
Nov 30, 2006




The Patriots will win super bowl 51.

EDIT: and 52.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


old dog child posted:



You know this means the Broncos will score a franchise QB that would've been perfect for the Chiefs but now you have to spend the next 15 years watching him clown your team

The Broncos already drafted Trevor Siemian.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

Ah, the Laveranues Coles gambit, a true classic

I call it the Antonio Bryant maneuver.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

R.D. Mangles posted:

The Broncos already drafted Trevor Siemian.

Parmesan Basil posted:

You guys have Osweiler and that's who you deserve.

Please be respectful, these are both Super Bowl Winning QBs

WalletBeef
Jun 11, 2005

Rex Ryan manages to improve the Bills defense to about 20th in the league.
The offense struggles with a suspended McCoy and a hurt Tyrod.
The Bills finish 7-9 with no playoffs and Rex gets another year before he is ultimately fired.

bigmcgaffney
Apr 19, 2009
The Cardinals are going to lose the super bowl

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
Holy poo poo guys, we haven't even hit free agency yet.



Besides with Flacco, Suggs, and Smith's new super science knees Baltimore has 2016 in the bag.:smugbird:

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

WalletBeef posted:

Rex Ryan manages to improve the Bills defense to about 20th in the league.
The offense struggles with a suspended McCoy and a hurt Tyrod.
The Bills finish 7-9 with no playoffs and Rex gets another year before he is ultimately fired.

Rex doesn't get another year if they don't make the playoffs.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

The Puppy Bowl posted:

Holy poo poo guys, we haven't even hit free agency yet.



Besides with Flacco, Suggs, and Smith's new super science knees Baltimore has 2016 in the bag.:smugbird:

Don't need free agency to know the cold dark season that comes upon me

  • Locked thread