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I honestly think that barring significant injury that it'll be a Patriots/Seahawks Super Bowl rematch. The Panthers and Cardinals are going to go down and the Packers will just puke on themselves in the NFC. And in the AFC I think it'll be a race between the Pats and Steelers.
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Feb 11, 2016 06:04
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Tom Brady is going to collapse in on himself just like Peyton did this year except that Tommy doesn't have a Wade defense to bail him out. First losing season of his career. Brady can't stomach the failure, spends one last night with his family, Tom always had a soft spot for mini golf. The next morning Gisele finds him in the closet with an old Michigan sweater wrapped around his neck. Either that or the Pats take the AFC East again. Definitely one of the two.
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Feb 11, 2016 06:21
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2016 giants: Lets have a look at some fun facts about the 2015 giants: gave up the most pass completions in the history of the NFL gave up the second most passing yardage in the history of the NFL The average opposing QB line against the giants was 298.9 yards, 66.3% completion percentage and 2 TDs 3rd worst in sacks somehow, despite seeing the 4th most passing attempts against them for obvious reasons, they still managed to give up the 9th most rushing yards in the league In fact, they gave up the 3rd most total yardage in the history of the NFL Despite this, they kept their defensive coordinator (who has several of the worst defenses in NFL history on his resume now) and cut Damontre Moore, a young DE who was playing ok, after he had a fight with Cullen Jenkins, a 35 year old defensive end who had 3 sacks all of last year and isn't going to be with the team after this season. The old dusty corpse of Jon Beason was legitimately one of the giants most important and irreplaceable defensive players, and he just retired. This defense is historically awful, ancient, and permanently injured. I had some hope for next year until the team re-signed Spags and then I realized that management bizarrely believes nothing is wrong outside of injuries. I'm predicting 6 wins, because the offense is pretty good and the division sucks, and i think I'm being pretty generous.
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Feb 11, 2016 12:28
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NFC East: Cowboys: Dallas goes 6-2 to start the season until Tony Romo is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains all the powers of cancer. Romo slowly mutates as the season goes on; by the end he is a misshapen mash of teeth and lungs but still clearly better than their backups. Cowboys limp to an 8-8 finish and are quickly bumped out of the playoffs. in a chemo drug fueled rage, Romo grabs the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders in his many pseudopods and scales the Jerrydome. he is criticized for being soft, technically true because by now he is just a bunch of spongy tissue. Eagles: LeSean McCoy jukes his way out of prison the final Sunday ofbthe regular season and accidentally plays a game for the Eagles before remembering he's on the Bills. this will allow the Eagles to go eight and eight and still lose the division because their previous coach released all of their good players. Washington: Kirk Cousins become the new Alex Smith, I got Goodenough not to be totally stupid but not somebody who can win a Super Bowl with. Dan Snyder makes bank by selling one kidney a piece from each of his players. Each organ has a McDonald's tattoo sponsored by American Airlines. The team finishes 8-8 due to fatigue and blood loss. Giants: Injury issues mean that by the end of the season most of New York is just a giant Katamari of mangled bodies. thankfully, Odell Beckham jr. is one good arm is still sticking out in this is enough to catch a couple of passes. Eli Manning sets the new single-season interception record. the team finishes 8-8 out of solidarity with the rest of the NFC East. Epilogue: is they are also just a ball of limbs and flesh by now, the Giants are air dropped into Dallas to defeat Tony Romo. spectacular struggle reduces the Jerry dome to ashes and rubble. There is much rejoicing. Quiet Feet fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Feb 11, 2016 |
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Feb 11, 2016 14:30
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Hot take: Hue Jackson Browns will win a playoff game before dumb rear end Marvin Lewis Bengals.
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Feb 11, 2016 14:52
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Pats will go 7-9. Who will they even have on that team after free agency? Just a wasteland of talent.
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Feb 11, 2016 15:00
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Pretty low effort troll right there.
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Feb 11, 2016 16:00
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NC-17 posted:Pretty low effort troll right there. 5-11 then
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Feb 11, 2016 16:03
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NC-17 posted:Rex doesn't get another year if they don't make the playoffs. Never underestimate the power of the players “not quitting on their coach.”
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Feb 11, 2016 16:08
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They already quit last season!
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Feb 11, 2016 16:10
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Parmesan Basil posted:Pats will go 7-9. So you still have them taking the AFC east then.
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Feb 11, 2016 16:26
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NC-17 posted:They already quit last season! Not in Week 17!
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Feb 11, 2016 16:30
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Neurological disease will lead to the demise of the NFL before the Lions ever reach a Super Bowl.
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Feb 11, 2016 17:12
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Dattserberg posted:Neurological disease will lead to the demise of the NFL before the Lions ever reach a Super Bowl. However, the rise of Mutant League Football will give the Lions a chance to keep trying.
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Feb 11, 2016 17:29
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Dattserberg posted:Neurological disease will lead to the demise of the NFL before the Lions ever reach a Super Bowl. No joke, this is absolutely my #1 sports fear right now.
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Feb 11, 2016 18:01
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The Bucs are going 7-9 and losing 5 or 6 games by one score in what will be the most frustrating season ever.
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Feb 12, 2016 07:55
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:However, the rise of Mutant League Football will give the Lions a chance to keep trying. The shutdown of the NFL due to concussion related lawsuits and public outcry combined with a comedy of errors and some accidental investments made while blackout drunk gives rise to: MILLEN LEAGUE FOOTBALL. Lions still do poorly.
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Feb 12, 2016 12:27
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We're only a few years away from the year that Rollerball was set. It's only a matter of time 
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Feb 12, 2016 13:06
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Donkwich posted:We're only a few years away from the year that Rollerball was set. It's only a matter of time Only if we can get Paul Heyman like the movie promised.
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Feb 12, 2016 15:08
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Jacksonville likely won't make the play offs, but they will be competitive, and might slip in due the weak AFC South. Tom Brady will start slipping. Randaconda fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Feb 14, 2016 |
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Feb 13, 2016 02:40
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whiteyfats posted:Tom Brady will start slipping. It's true, the Pats are at the 49ers this year
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Feb 13, 2016 20:58
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whiteyfats posted:Tom Brady will start slipping. I would be happy with Seattle going 3-13 if Brady fell apart and was benched.
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Feb 13, 2016 21:13
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Russell's knee quivers as a finger curls on the monkey's paw.
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Feb 14, 2016 04:14
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Mrit posted:I would be happy with Seattle going 3-13 if Brady fell apart and was benched. I'm hoping both his knees explode at the same time.
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Feb 14, 2016 12:00
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Ben will not get injured this year and proceed to have another 500 yd game as he and Antonio Brown break all the records.
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Feb 14, 2016 20:40
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Any prediction of Kirk cousins other than regressing a bit but ultimately being a top half qb that will have articles written in the press about replacing him, but since there's no realistic answer to "with who" he'll be a solid, unspectacular starter for at least four years is completely off base. He's the platonic ideal of a DC quarterback, at least of a Gibbs era one.
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Feb 14, 2016 21:19
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This will be Drew Brees' final season and he'll play so well people will genuinely argue that he shouldn't retire.
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Feb 14, 2016 21:23
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Hijo Del Helmsley posted:This will be Drew Brees' final season and he'll play so well people will genuinely argue that he shouldn't retire. Well if he plays really well why should he retire?
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Feb 14, 2016 21:24
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Well if he plays really well why should he retire? Alright, I'll amend it: He'll play really well, then get injured in week 16.
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Feb 14, 2016 21:27
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please don't say abhorrent things like "Drew Brees will get injured" thanks
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Feb 14, 2016 21:31
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Hijo Del Helmsley posted:Alright, I'll amend it: He'll play really well, then get injured in week 16. He'll get injured due to some questionable hits by the Vikings in the NFCCG
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Feb 14, 2016 21:47
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:He'll get injured due to some questionable hits by the Vikings in the NFCCG It's like poetry, it rhymes. It'll be disappointing though when the Vikings go on to lose the Super Bowl.
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Feb 14, 2016 23:04
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Is Brees still hated for being a lover of torture
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Feb 15, 2016 00:43
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Donkwich posted:Is Brees still hated for being a lover of torture It's not so much that he made the remarks he did. It's that he actually went to Guantanamo Bay, toured the facilities, and then decided yup, I like this.
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Feb 15, 2016 00:57
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Also what's up with that weird birthmark? Get it fixed, weirdo.
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Feb 15, 2016 01:00
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:It's not so much that he made the remarks he did. It's that he actually went to Guantanamo Bay, toured the facilities, and then decided yup, I like this. I'm sure they gave him a full tour of the waterboarding room. e:autocorrect Impossibly Perfect Sphere fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Feb 15, 2016 |
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Feb 15, 2016 01:58
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I always thought Brees was by far one of the more likable people in the NFL, thanks for ruining it assholes
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Feb 15, 2016 02:02
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NC-17 posted:I'm sure they have him a full tour of the waterboarding room. You get to commit one (1) war crime with a full priced admission.
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Feb 15, 2016 02:20
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Mystic Stylez posted:I always thought Brees was by far one of the more likable people in the NFL, thanks for ruining it assholes brees is cool
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Feb 15, 2016 02:47
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| # ? May 3, 2024 10:41 |
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NFC S: Panthers win the div with 12 wins. If they get offensive line improvements and another good defensive back and pass rusher they should go deep again, if they get a lot of injuries and no offensive line help I'll put a gun in my mouth 12-4 Tampa take a wild card spot on the back of improved defensive play, they get beat in the first round of the playoffs but everyone has their dicks in their hands over Jameis becoming a good pro 10-6 New Orleans, continue their slide into mediocrity with Drew Brees still being a one man juggernaut passing to 50 different dudes. Their defense improves for the first two weeks on the back of lucky turnovers giving fans hope everywhere only for them to come crashing back to earth en route to another early draft pick. 6-10 Atlanta, Continues their mediocrity, their overall on field product matching their QBs personality. Boring 8-8 Tom Brady has an MVP season after the Patriots re-tool their offensive line, sign Matt Forte, and Mike Wallace he finally has run game support (consistently) and has the deep threat their offense could use to blow the top off defenses. His deflates his balls all over Goodell's face, does an interview about stupid food he likes to eat and appears at the white house with president Trump (even though the Pats don't make the superbowl). JJ Watt wins another defensive MVP because he's just that good. Peter king writes about poo poo beer and poo poo coffee at the end of every poo poo article. Crybaby Muscle Hampster gets a block buster deal in the offseason from someone stupid, I dunno and proceeds to poo poo the bed with an 800 yard yawn of a season.
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Feb 15, 2016 05:10
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