OSHA: definitely bent in the straight places

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA: definitely bent in the straight places

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Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

VectorSigma posted:

those people have clearly never seen cartoons or played video games.

Maybe they have; there's always loot at the bottom of those hidden areas

# ? Feb 16, 2016 06:30

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 06:28

Fasdar: Sep 1, 2001; Everybody loves dancing!

I LOVE THE CSB.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuJtdQOU_Z4

# ? Feb 16, 2016 06:58

Fasdar: Sep 1, 2001; Everybody loves dancing!

OMG a new CSB video on the West, Texas fertilizer plant explosion.

15 dead and 100s of buildings destroyed. loving with zoning, and zoning fucks with you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdDuHxwD5R4

# ? Feb 16, 2016 07:25

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Linux Pirate posted:

I just wanna see pictures of dumb people doing dangerous stuff at work.

Me too. I like to read this thread at work for maximum OSHA.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 15:47

Zamboni Rodeo: Jul 19, 2007; NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!

Crossposting from SH/SC:

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

I'm pretty sure it's just where I work. Either that or behind the scenes a lot of churches are just hosed up.

Here's a story:

The church I work for is very into pageants and theatrical stuff. They'll have plays with the thematic subtlety of a sledgehammer, usually centering around or at least alluding to going to hell.
Personally I find some of the stuff they put out there fairly objectionable but I won't derail the thread with that kind of a powder-keg. Just to preface, I'm not going to inject my personal opinion of the subject matter into any of what follows, i'm merely presenting what happened. The gist of the play they want to put on is thus:

There's a young, attractive woman riding in a cab. The devil (literally) decides to hop in shotgun next to the cab driver and "orders" him to force himself on the girl. The girl is horrified, the terrible act happens, and the cab driver somehow gets away scott free after doing the Devil's work. As if it wasn't horrible enough the woman gets pregnant and has recurring nightmares about fire and brimstone whenever she seriously thinks about abortion, so she's effectively guilted into having the kid. She has the kid, gives it up for adoption, and life continues but she can't live with the guilt of abandoning her child. She gets into drugs and ODs, which counts as suicide, which means she goes to hell. The intent is to show this on a Sunday afternoon to a mixed age audience.

So the powers that be approach me and my boss about something they want to do: they want to set the lady playing the poor woman mentioned above on fire as part of the show. Instantly the word NO launches itself from my face before the conversation really begins in earnest, but that just means I'm ignored from that point on and it's a conversation between my boss and the pastor. To this day I'm thankful for how level-headed my boss is; there have been a number of times where I've nearly lost it over stupid bullshit at this place, and setting a lady on fire as part of an act definitely ranks up there. Like most people in this place, the "actress" is a volunteer.

They're talking about this while I'm red-faced and fuming and the Head Pastor is very animatedly pontificating on kevlar and fireproof dresses and such. Clearly not anyone I want messing with pyrotechnics. My boss is completely on my side and is having almost as hard a time as I am keeping it together, but he's a veteran. He's been in this crazy trench waaaaaaay longer than I have, so he knows how to speak the lingo. My boss pretends to do the speaking in tongues bit and walks off, waving back at me and the pastor saying he'll need to think on it. A minute later my phone starts to buzz and I know that's my cue to head back to the office with him.

I get back there and I unload. They HAD to hear me screaming, they just had to, but to this day I've never heard a single word about any of it. My boss looks at me and tells me, "Look, they're going to go ahead with whatever stupidity it is they're planning. The best we can hope to do is minimize the impact. Once <pastor name> gets an idea in his head he's going to run with it no matter how negligent it is."

We talk for a while longer and get into a creative groove. I had the idea, but he put the finishing touches on it: instead of setting the girl on fire we'd use her high heels as a form of symbolism. It'd be easy enough to rig something together that would set them on fire with a switch of some kind, and we had the time to plan it so it wasn't a rush job. We ordered one of those fire starter kits that magicians use and had our plan of attack in order.

The next day he presents the idea and the pastor loves it, but he wants a practical demonstration. We don't have any high heels and the pair being used for the show are the only ones they have, so we're charged with buying a pair ourselves so we can demonstrate. The pastor is a huge rear end in a top hat with regards to scheduling and making himself available for questions/concerns, so we know he'll only be around for maybe an hour before he vanishes into the darkness for a week. We break off from the pastor and make the quickest dash for PayLess shoes that a human has ever made, returning with these red sequined abominations. They're perfect.

It takes ten minutes or so to get everything prepped, but we get it done. The presentation goes off without a hitch and the ugly shoes are burning on stage on top of an industrial rubber mat. It's a slow burn too, which I thought was a nice touch if you're going for subtlety in how you present the theme (slow encroachment of sin, damnation is a gradual burn, that kind of thing). The head pastor sort of grunts at us and tells us it's good enough, but I can tell he's not super thrilled. Dude really wanted to set this poor lady on fire, I guess. We never got comped for the shoes OR the remote starter, either.

I'm not a member of the church, so I didn't see the production. I just work there. My boss though, he saw it, and the next time I saw him was a few hours after the show and he was obviously stricken. Something was wrong. "Yo dude, you alright? You look pale as hell."
He tells me that the higher-ups didn't think the shoes burning was obvious enough. The fire was too small, not evocative enough. So they doused the shoes in kerosene and set everything up the same way we had it otherwise. "Bitch King, walk out to the stage with me. It's easier to just show you."

We walk out and the left half of the stage is charred black. I'll never forget the sight of it: the piano they keep on stage had collapsed when one of the legs burned through, the electronics and lighting were all disabled since the damage was so extensive, and apparently they had a tough time getting the fire otu at all because all the fire extinguishers were expired and barely worked. Apparently, mid-fire, someone ran out to Wal-Mart and bought two of the cheap ones while the rest of the church battled the flames on the stage with faulty equipment. Thankfully nobody got hurt, but sitting there right in the middle of the stage were a pair of high heels, completely unblemished and untouched by the fire. Mocking the absurdity of it all. I'm told it burned for twenty minutes straight while people sat around waiting for Wal-Mart guy to get back, just doing their best to contain it somehow with the power of good intentions.

To this day I don't know what they did to gently caress up so badly, but I took it as a sign that maybe there is a dude up there punishing us for our stupidity. Just maybe. Needless to say there was a prayer drive the following week and the damages ended up repaired rather quickly. I'm still just thankful they didn't try to set some poor lady on fire. And to this day they still haven't updated all the fire extinguishers, just the ones around the stage.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:37

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Nude posted:

http://i.imgur.com/jgupAd5.gifv

I'm glad Grover was alright.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:51

hunkrust: Sep 29, 2014; I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyn3_mqHeic

Garbage truck explodes

# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:56

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

calvus posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyn3_mqHeic

Garbage truck explodes

That rushing sound in the video is the Liquefied natural gas venting into the atmosphere. While I love the concept of LNG, the practical application of it is limited by the fact that a car fire will literally cause the vehicle to loving explode.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 05:59

Jesus Christ: Jun 1, 2000; mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

calvus posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyn3_mqHeic

Garbage truck explodes

I love that *PING* right before the truck explodes. It's just that split second "you're hosed" warning that you hear but can't do anything about.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 17:57

Antoine Silvere: Nov 25, 2008; Are these soap bubbles?; Grimey Drawer

C.M. Kruger posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHSuInSkHtA

this is insane to me. does the sound transmit through the fire or something???

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:01

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

Antoine Silvere posted:

this is insane to me. does the sound transmit through the fire or something???

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plasma_speaker

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:03

Antoine Silvere: Nov 25, 2008; Are these soap bubbles?; Grimey Drawer

VectorSigma posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plasma_speaker

thats pretty fuckin dope. did not know that was a thing

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:06

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

http://i.imgur.com/74JXbg3.webm

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:42

Mithaldu: Sep 25, 2007; Let's cuddle.

That one has been posted so often, and everytime it makes me feel very sad, because there's no way that guy didn't walk away from that with fairly painful consequences.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 05:07

Nude: Nov 16, 2014; I have no idea what I'm doing.

Say Nothing posted:

http://i.imgur.com/74JXbg3.webm

The ladder looks photoshopped (on the bottom left) either it's a joke that went over my head or it's just lighting. I just realize I've only seen that gif zoomed in.

Also I'm surprised in all the threads this hasn't been posted (skip about a minute):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A_h2AjJaMw

# ? Feb 18, 2016 09:14

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Fuuuuuuuck that

You literally could not pay me enough to do that

# ? Feb 18, 2016 09:21

mostlygray: Nov 1, 2012; BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH

Say Nothing posted:

http://i.imgur.com/74JXbg3.webm

Unloading trucks on grade instead of at a dock sucks. Manual pallet jacks don't have brakes so I could see that happening if you're slightly down-grade. I only let my guys do that once when I was a warehouse manager. It was so sketchy that I forbade it afterwards. It's not worth it. Someone will get hurt.

When I had to do it, I had them hand offload instead. That pallet jack is not controllable. It takes way longer, but no-one gets hurt.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 12:40

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

The Glumslinger posted:

You literally could not pay me enough to do that

I knew a guy doing it a while back and I think he pulled down a real good four figures a week, I wana say 2k-2500

# ? Feb 18, 2016 12:47

Pinguliten: Jan 8, 2007

mostlygray posted:

Unloading trucks on grade instead of at a dock sucks. Manual pallet jacks don't have brakes so I could see that happening if you're slightly down-grade. I only let my guys do that once when I was a warehouse manager. It was so sketchy that I forbade it afterwards. It's not worth it. Someone will get hurt.

When I had to do it, I had them hand offload instead. That pallet jack is not controllable. It takes way longer, but no-one gets hurt.

Does not most decent trucks have controllable pneumatic suspension which you can use to level the truck? Also good back lifts have stoppers you can deploy from stopping this from happening.

I guess they don't come on every back lift but they are worth the premium, even when unloading at docks if they're not at the correct height.

Pinguliten fucked around with this message at 13:00 on Feb 18, 2016

# ? Feb 18, 2016 12:58

hunkrust: Sep 29, 2014; I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.

Say Nothing posted:

http://i.imgur.com/74JXbg3.webm

That was a twist, I expected something with the forklift to happen

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:12

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

If you absolutely felt like you had to unload the pallets that way, you should at least have the guy with the pallet jack wait until the forklift guy comes back and is in position with the forks right on the edge platform so that there's something to keep the jack from rolling right off the edge.

It's still dumb though and shouldn't be done at all like that.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:17

spud: Aug 27, 2003; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Shaquin posted:

I knew a guy doing it a while back and I think he pulled down a real good four figures a week, I wana say 2k-2500

That's all!!?

You can get more than that sat at a desk doing software stuff.

I'd want around 10k a week to do that....one mistake and you are dead......DEAD! My rear end cheeks were clenched the entire video, and I am not even scared of heights. It's more the fact that if he slips, it's gameover.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:22

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

spud posted:

That's all!!?

You can get more than that sat at a desk doing software stuff.

I'd want around 10k a week to do that....one mistake and you are dead......DEAD! My rear end cheeks were clenched the entire video, and I am not even scared of heights. It's more the fact that if he slips, it's gameover.

Consider that he's also climbing in a very quick fashion. If you're ~~a pathetic pussy~~ safety conscious, you can also climb a few feet, hook in, climb a few feet, hook in, repeat ad nausem.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:48

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

Believe it or not many people may either by inclination or circumstance find a six figure paycheck for having a little balls a perfectly fine alternative to plugging in modems or staring at command prompts or whatever

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:52

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

Ten thousand dollars a month gross isn't bad for loving around on top of a big tower and more frequently smaller towers.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 16:53

Kro-Bar: Jul 24, 2004; USPOL May

calvus posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyn3_mqHeic

Garbage truck explodes

I bet that neighborhood smelled awful for weeks.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 17:02

BrianPhillips: May 10, 2006

Hadn't seen this posted. Looks like fun...except for that fall.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 23:03

hunkrust: Sep 29, 2014; I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.

BrianPhillips posted:

Hadn't seen this posted. Looks like fun...except for that fall.

How bored do you have to be before that seems like a good idea?

# ? Feb 18, 2016 23:26

Grey Fox: Jan 5, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/BxRm7iV.gifv

# ? Feb 18, 2016 23:41

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

BrianPhillips posted:

Hadn't seen this posted. Looks like fun...except for that fall.

Gimme a helmet and pads i'll do that!

# ? Feb 18, 2016 23:43

Serak: Jun 18, 2000; Approaching Midnight.

To steal a post from the China Thread

Jumpingmanjim posted:

http://i.imgur.com/qZ18ZEz.gifv

No why

# ? Feb 19, 2016 06:21

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

Serak posted:

To steal a post from the China Thread

No why

that thing was on fire before it got there. I think this truck's delivering fire.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 06:27

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Cowman posted:

that thing was on fire before it got there. I think this truck's delivering fire.

its a fire truck

# ? Feb 19, 2016 06:33

Nude: Nov 16, 2014; I have no idea what I'm doing.

Serak posted:

To steal a post from the China Thread

No why

The best part about this is the guy waving in the truck, like the truck isn't going to plow through either way.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 14:24

Prav: Oct 29, 2011

Cowman posted:

that thing was on fire before it got there. I think this truck's delivering fire.

they've really stepped it up with the Olympic Torch tour lately

# ? Feb 19, 2016 14:56

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

ElectricSheep posted:

You start with the I, not the J

# ? Feb 19, 2016 15:45

hunkrust: Sep 29, 2014; I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.

Jumpingmanjim posted:

http://i.imgur.com/qZ18ZEz.gifv

I love how once the guard gets the gate open he doesn't back up anymore, he doesn't seem concerned that its on fire

# ? Feb 19, 2016 16:01

Hollow Talk: Feb 2, 2014

calvus posted:

I love how once the guard gets the gate open he doesn't back up anymore, he doesn't seem concerned that its on fire

You mean the guard that waves him through just before you can see him run further away?

# ? Feb 19, 2016 16:07

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Hollow Talk posted:

You mean the guard that waves him through just before you can see him run further away?

the other guy

# ? Feb 19, 2016 16:50

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 06:28

hunkrust: Sep 29, 2014; I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.

Parallax Scroll posted:

the other guy

Ya the first guy was smart he just booked it all the way, other one continues to wave him through as the fire is feet away from him

# ? Feb 19, 2016 17:16

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