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Sum Mors posted:Retail is a hell of a thing. Never ask co-workers about themselves. Not emptyquoting. I worked at a Dollar Tree for a while, and my god. Asking my co-workers about their lives was like jumping into a rabbit hole of poor decision making, teen pregnancy, and facial tattoos. At least they were actually pretty nice. Dumb thing I've done: Cut an aluminium collar waaaay too short, and as a result, the blade caught the collar. I came veeeery close to lose my thumb, and only pure luck prevented me from getting my thumb sliced off. The only injury was a fat bruise and a newfound respect for buzzsaws.
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Feb 12, 2016 08:27
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A Saucy Bratwurst posted:Not that long ago I was stabbing an empty milk box with a knife on my desk abesent mindedly while I watched youtube. Knife ended up about a centimeter deep in my palm. Playing with a knife while destroying a pair of raggedly ol' sweatpants, while watching Battlestar Galactica. Ended up slicing open my shin. Didn't get stiches, so I get a fat scar. A couple years later, I'm working out by doing jumping up on these metal pylon things. Turns out they don' make them anymore because what happens is: I hosed up my timing during my set, fell, and sliced open about an inch of my other shin to about the fat. Also didn't get stiches for that one. Look ma, matching scars!
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Feb 13, 2016 17:17
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Going along with stupid high school sports things: I was a lacrosse goalie, in outdoor lacrosse. The only required pads were the cup, the chest protector, the helmet, and the neck guard + the gloves. Everything else was exposed to flying rubber balls that regularly get hurled at 100+ mph speeds. By the end of the season, I had a bruised peripheral nerve in my lower left leg which meant that cold days were flat out unbearable. Bruised nerves suuuuuuck. Of course, end of the season, I get called up to varsity because I had improved tremendously. Coach puts me in goal towards the end of a stomping, and one of the shots hits me right in that nerve. Apparently I went down like a sack of potatoes. I came to when I got some ammonia salts straight to the face.
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Feb 15, 2016 06:27
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Wedemeyer posted:
There's a ref in Lacrosse who stands right by the cage and makes sure attackmen (ie, opposing team dudes with the ball) don't violate the exclusion zone (the 2 yard perimeter around the goal). Goalies rarely leave that zone unless they're moving the ball up the field, so to see a goalie go down like a sack of dildos is kind of unusual. Also helped that I fell directly on the top of the ball. The referee probably realized something was wrong when he rolled me off it. Also, since I'm posting goalie freude, the varsity goalie who I learned everything from was this fat dude who also happened to be the god of the cage. Dude once saved something like 13 shots in a row when we went down like 4 dudes after a half-time brawl (long story). We were warming up with shots on the goal, and I was in a cage on the other end of the field getting warmed up. All of the sudden I hear this thunderous CRACK! like someone had just dropped a ceramic toilet off a building. I look down the field and the coach is like "Holy poo poo, are you okay Max?". Dude took a lacrosse ball straight to the testicles. Thankfully he was wearing a cup, but the ball hit literally smashed it right down the middle. A Festivus Miracle has a new favorite as of 23:09 on Feb 17, 2016 |
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Feb 17, 2016 23:06
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they actually checked on you when you collapsed? Aww. I laid on the ground for nearly ten minutes with a dislocated shoulder until I forced myself up to have a chat with coach. Never played football again. Nope thanks.