Weldon Pemberton posted:

For some reason, when I was in 6th grade we had to make a weird multiple choice quiz about ourselves and get another random pupil to take it. I had a question like,


The kid got the wrong answer because I was a huge Pokemon nerd and he assumed I would never make a Pokemon faux pas. The actual answer is c). I think my parents ended up paying £400 to get Francis the neighbour's windshield repaired. My friend Andy has kept the Charizard to this day and gloats about it whenever possible. I'm basically just telling this anecdote because it's funny to me that it was believable that I had managed to set a door on fire with a candle.

I could list dozens of dumb things I've done through the years, such as try to heat milk in an electric kettle, draw a cock on a bully's notebook and then get caught immediately because I couldn't stop laughing, or throw bleach on a big cockroach (there was nothing else around to kill it and I have a phobia of them) and end up bleaching the linoleum in a weird cum-spatter pattern. I seem to scar less easily than most people, which is fortunate because otherwise I'd be covered with burn scars from cooking. The amount of times I've heard something like "you must have done this on purpose because I know you're not stupid" is quite high. People don't realize that being absent-minded is a separate thing altogether.