|
Ask the genie to have Galactus devour the planet.
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 21:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:02 |
|
|
OwlFancier posted:I think that's the backstory of warhammer 40k. Golden Throne is actually a big crapper that feeds you vindaloo. Astronomicon is psychic fart cloud visible from space. makes sense, all the psykers they "sacrifice" for the golden throne are just meat
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 21:49
|
|
|
What happens if I ask the genie to poz my neg hole?
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 22:14
|
|
|
All the electrons are removed from your anal sphincter leaving only nucleons and it explodes with enough force to take out half the block.
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 22:16
|
|
|
I wish he would be a nice genie instead that would be willing, able, and capable with regards to fulfilling all of my wishes including this one, regardless of any other hurdles normally applied that would cause my wish or intent to go awry from what I wanted. e: Can't forget to follow with a wish that no genie would be able to hurt, kill, or destroy me or mess with any of my wishes including this one and the previous in any way, shape, or form, including the use of proxy actors, the next being that I instantly get access to as many other wishes I need to make to guarantee I'll be able to do everything I'm interested in doing with this power, and one more that the genie will be willing, able, and capable with regards to informing me of anything I else I forget to add either to make my intent in future wishes clearer or to protect myself from common wishing pitfalls. Ignatius M. Meen fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Feb 15, 2016 |
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 00:24
|
|
|
I wish to be a powerful and amoral demon. There - genie gets to be malicious and I get super powers. Everyone is happy.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 00:43
|
|
|
DrSunshine posted:Another way to phrase this problem could've been "How would we control a superintelligent AI?" since in both cases we're dealing with an entity that's capable of immense power, but prone to executing our instructions in ways that might not be desirable to us. You pull the plug, duh. I don't think genies run on electricity though.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 01:36
|
|
|
According to the Qur'an, the jinn are made of a smokeless flame and scorching fire, so they probably run on propane or natural gas.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 02:07
|
|
|
Keshik posted:i'd wish for all the powers normally attributed to Superman, with none of the vulnerabilities Humanity being what it is, the nations of the earth would be filled with horror at the prospect of a powerful person they could not control. Your every move would be scrutinized by the media for any sign or interpretation of what you would do next. Any action you take against one of the powers that be, no matter how benign, like say stopping an errent US drone missile from hitting a wedding, would cause chaos and consternation. The government would try to kill or co-opt you. Expect your family to be taken hostage and tortured. Also expect to be declared a rapist with the fart thing. WorldsStongestNerd fucked around with this message at 03:58 on Feb 15, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 03:51
|
|
Funky See Funky Do posted:I wish to be a powerful and amoral demon. You never said anything about staying on Earth. Turns out that 'powerful' is a relative term and you were only thinking compared to other humans when you should have been thinking compared to other demons in Hell. Hope you like running errands or similar scuttling about for eternity where most everyone else can still kick your rear end!
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 05:05
|
|
|
Infinite Karma posted:After using the benevolent kitchen sink's wishes to get everything I wanted, including getting rid of all the malicious wish-granters, what's to stop me from wishing for the sink's destruction? Or wishing that it can no longer grant wishes? Point conceded. The sink wins. However it's still a pretty easy thing for someone to discover/use. I would also wish that it would only work for yourself, lest a nosy servant of aforementioned godking find that his powers come from a specific source.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 07:18
|
|
|
"Genie, why are you malicious?"
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 08:14
|
|
|
I believe I've thought of a good one. "Grant me the wish that I would wish for if I was infinitely clever, wise, knowledgeable and compassionate." This works, I think, because it offloads the responsibility for formulating a perfect wish onto that perfect person. It's still a wish that benefits me because I am stipulating that that person is me. However, it's just a version of me that had infinite time to formulate a truly impregnable, perfect wish. Although it takes direct control of the wish out of my hands, it should ensure that whatever that wish is, it would be perfectly suited for giving me the maximum happiness, since that perfect person would know exactly what to wish for.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 15:48
|
|
|
Your infinitely clever, wise, knowledgeable, and compassionate self realizes that life is a never ending heaving heap of violence, parasitism, birth, death, and suffering with no hope for redemption and, like Zapffe's Last Messiah, wishes that it had all been prevented from ever existing.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 16:05
|
|
|
If that is truly so then it must be the wish that creates the most happiness for me, and I should be happy to get it, because clearly my most perfect self knows what's best for me.  EDIT: Actually that is logically impossible, since if I had never existed then the net happiness created for me is zero. If the most perfect me is rationally maximizing my happiness function then I must exist in order for that to happen. DrSunshine fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Feb 15, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 16:09
|
|
|
If the genie is really good at his job, that wish might be "no wish". Any wish the genie grants could be a net negative, but your life might still be worth something without wishes.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 18:11
|
|
|
DrSunshine posted:I believe I've thought of a good one. You wish God into existence and it's you. The being is orders of magnitude beyond what you were when you made the wish and you essentially cease to exist. Absolutely nothing changes because the universe is exactly the way you made it already. Evil genies and all.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 18:21
|
|
|
How about "I wish to inherit some money"
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 20:43
|
|
|
Dr. Arbitrary posted:How about "I wish to inherit some money" You just killed a family member.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 20:45
|
|
|
I wish Donald Trump starts a band where he is lead singer/keytarist.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2016 20:48
|
|
|
DrSunshine posted:I believe I've thought of a good one. That's a good solution but you want to put it as that idealized version of yourself as interested in your happiness. What they might wish for for themselves might not be what's best for you. For instance, if you asked your ideal self how they might go about doing something, you might get advice that you're incapable of executing or even understanding. Or, in this case, this person may want some good that they can't otherwise get, but which is useless to yourself. Wish for the thing that your idealized self would wish for you, the non-ideal person.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2016 03:19
|
|
|
Funky See Funky Do posted:You just killed a family member. But what if you already killed all of them yourself? Take that, genie.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 07:43
|
|
Cynic Jester posted:But what if you already killed all of them yourself? You are now a quadriplegic. The estate of the person who died after crashing into you had a very generous provision for this sort of thing.
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 08:01
|
|
|
DrSunshine posted:Another way to phrase this problem could've been "How would we control a superintelligent AI?" since in both cases we're dealing with an entity that's capable of immense power, but prone to executing our instructions in ways that might not be desirable to us. I don't know, it worked out pretty well in the movie. 
Cnut the Great fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Feb 19, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 08:21
|
|
|
"Bring back LF." "That is beyond my powers."
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2016 00:28
|
|
|
I wish every human being who currently owns financial assets or property with a combined value of more than five million United States dollars at the current market value immediately bursts into flame and dies a horrible screaming death.
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 20:11
|
|
|
Don't you just need to add "and ensure that at all points in the future I remain satisfied with my wish (and don't change what constitutes 'what I am satisfied with')" to the wish? That way you're guaranteed to never be disappointed by the wish.
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 21:55
|
|
|
DrSunshine posted:Another way to phrase this problem could've been "How would we control a superintelligent AI?" since in both cases we're dealing with an entity that's capable of immense power, but prone to executing our instructions in ways that might not be desirable to us. "I want you to destroy the MIRI/"Bayesian rationalist"/"Dark Enlightenment" movement, with all its members suffering immensely and becoming laughing stocks before dying, with their ideas and scams never again being taken up in the course of history"
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 22:05
|
|
|
Double the gravitational constant.
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 22:10
|
|
|
Nessus posted:Happiness for everyone without condition, and may nobody be left behind. Everyone is now completely happy because they're too retarded to know any better.
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 22:12
|
|
|
Unbelievably Fat Man posted:I wish every human being who currently owns financial assets or property with a combined value of more than five million United States dollars at the current market value immediately bursts into flame and dies a horrible screaming death. A flaming Ferrari veers uncontrollably into your house, exploding on impact and burning the house and it's contents to the ground. Fried Chicken posted:That reminds me: The man that would have invented a vaccine for the std that will one day ravage and destroy your genitals is having a rough adolescence. Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Feb 21, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 22:17
|
|
|
Fried Chicken posted:That reminds me: Yudkowsky already cries himself to sleep every night because he's convinced the real reason he's such a lame o is that the real Yud in the real world didn't donate enough money to MIRI and the robot devil is torturing our world's version in AI hell forever.
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 22:21
|
|
Ytlaya posted:Don't you just need to add "and ensure that at all points in the future I remain satisfied with my wish (and don't change what constitutes 'what I am satisfied with')" to the wish? That way you're guaranteed to never be disappointed by the wish. That only works as long as 'you' exist and 'what I'm satisfied with' doesn't change at all for any reason though. Hence you might get a forever groundhog moment where time as we know it just stops because neither you nor the universe are allowed to change, or you might die immediately and your wish gets corrupted right afterwards.
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 21, 2016 23:19
|
|
|
I'd wish for fewer wishes. I bet nobody's tried that before. Freaking djinni would never see it coming.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 02:08
|
|
|
1. I wish everyone in the world would think I'm, at least, p. cool. Like they don't want to emulate me or anything but they're like, "Oh man that guy is alright wouldn't mind having a drink with him some time" 2. When I create something that I intend to sell everyone thinks it's, at least, p. cool. Like they don't riot to buy it or anything but at minimum people would think "oh man I might buy that when it's on sale" 3. Give Ron Paul superman powers and immortality
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 11:16
|
|
|
Why are genies such assholes? I let you out of that lamp the least you could do is just fly off without killing me or giving me an ironically terrible punishment for my random act.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 13:52
|
|
|
hey how you doin?
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 14:24
|
|
|
I wish I were an inch taller
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2016 05:04
|
|
|
I wish to substitute our reality with Obama vs the Pirates of Wichita.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2016 05:29
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:02 |
|
|
Celot posted:I wish I were an inch taller Your vertebrae are now painfully dislocated.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2016 08:17
|
|
