What would you ask a malicious genie?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > What would you ask a malicious genie?

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

I wish to be a powerful and amoral demon.

There - genie gets to be malicious and I get super powers. Everyone is happy.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 00:43

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 14:53

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

DrSunshine posted:

I believe I've thought of a good one.

"Grant me the wish that I would wish for if I was infinitely clever, wise, knowledgeable and compassionate."

This works, I think, because it offloads the responsibility for formulating a perfect wish onto that perfect person. It's still a wish that benefits me because I am stipulating that that person is me. However, it's just a version of me that had infinite time to formulate a truly impregnable, perfect wish. Although it takes direct control of the wish out of my hands, it should ensure that whatever that wish is, it would be perfectly suited for giving me the maximum happiness, since that perfect person would know exactly what to wish for.

You wish God into existence and it's you. The being is orders of magnitude beyond what you were when you made the wish and you essentially cease to exist. Absolutely nothing changes because the universe is exactly the way you made it already. Evil genies and all.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 18:21

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

How about "I wish to inherit some money"

You just killed a family member.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 20:45

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Unbelievably Fat Man posted:

I wish every human being who currently owns financial assets or property with a combined value of more than five million United States dollars at the current market value immediately bursts into flame and dies a horrible screaming death.

A flaming Ferrari veers uncontrollably into your house, exploding on impact and burning the house and it's contents to the ground.

Fried Chicken posted:

That reminds me:
"I want you to destroy the MIRI/"Bayesian rationalist"/"Dark Enlightenment" movement, with all its members suffering immensely and becoming laughing stocks before dying, with their ideas and scams never again being taken up in the course of history"

The man that would have invented a vaccine for the std that will one day ravage and destroy your genitals is having a rough adolescence.

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Feb 21, 2016

# ¿ Feb 21, 2016 22:17

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

paragon1 posted:

I'd wish for the genie to be benevolent towards human life rather than malicious.

Unburdened by human survival instinct and emotions the genie decides that the nicest thing he can do for humans is to erase them from existence.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2016 03:45

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 14:53

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

my dad posted:

On a more serious note, I think paragon1 has the best approach. Instead of skirting around the problem of the genie being malicious, his wish tackles the problem head-on.

It makes assumptions about what a genie would consider benevolent. Views on morality differ wildly between humans, who knows what a mystical genie would consider good and kind? Maybe it's got an honour based code of morality and kills a bunch of people to preserve their honour. What if it's a nihilist and thinks that whether or not life exists at all doesn't matter and sterilizes the universe to end the inevitability of suffering?

# ¿ Feb 25, 2016 20:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > What would you ask a malicious genie?