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Got dysentery or similar in Egypt. Threw up in the bathroom at the Egyptian Museum. The bathroom attendant apparently told my mom "Don't worry, I have five babies!" and then my mom was screaming at me for being pregnant (I was not pregnant.) Got back to the hotel and proceeded to simultaneously projectile vomit and shoot diarrhea like a fire hose so that I hit the window and the wall on the opposite sides of the room and splashed my younger brother with both. Crawled through a mire of my own poo poo and vomit to the shower, where I alternately slept and shat and puked. Actually shat in my sleep because I was so exhausted. Woke up and 8 Mile was on TV; I still can't hear that "you only get one shot, one opportunity" Eminem song without having to poop. After three days, they threw me on a tour bus. I hadn't eaten, but still managed to puke constantly. I threw up at the Temple of Edfu. I went to Giza and a tout shoved a camel's lead in my hand so he could force me to pay baksheesh; I looked at the poo poo-covered rope and puked and scared the camel. I threw up on a bus. The whole time, men are yelling pervy poo poo at me on the street and offering my dad camels for my lovely hand in marriage. At this point, I believe my father would happily have surrendered me for any number of camels. Then they threw me on a boat. I begged for chicken broth- I was a vegetarian- and to go home. I lay on a twin bed in the Nile and watched a live-action version of The Wind In the Willows starring at least half of Monty Python. I wasn't sure I hadn't hallucinated it. They brought me crackers and I puked and poo poo and have you ever had explosive diarrhea on a boat? We had to change rooms. The air conditioner blew smoke all over us; we were covered in dust and dirt. I threw up over the side. Then my stomach issues abated. Hooray! I immediately got a sinus infection. My eyes were constantly pouring water and I was coughing so hard, I started developing abs. My brother started sleeping on the deck of the boat. Meanwhile, every time I blew my nose, it came out in black streamers from all the poo poo in the air. We met up with distant family; I introduced myself and then went to sleep in the car. Lasted about an hour before a man started banging on the window and hollering at me to pay baksheesh for sleeping in a car in a public parking lot? Maybe? I don't even know, because I burst into such hysterical scream-tears that he ran away. I finally started feeling somewhat better. Hooray! BTW we're all going home a week early because Grandma died. gently caress Egypt. Oh, and I worked in Korea for two years. That also sucked.
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Mar 2, 2016 08:41
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 23:10 |
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