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Chinese buffet for lunch today. Gonna make y'all proud when 2 PM rolls around.
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Mar 4, 2016 12:44
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Got in super early. Working up a high pressure poo so I can blast one out in record time.
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Mar 4, 2016 14:33
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Wonderful solid poo just now. I'm so happy to be back to what is objectively normal.
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Mar 4, 2016 16:17
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I had breakfast and so I poo'd like 30 minutes ago. It was one of those ones where it didn't quite end clean and thus required wipe after wipe after wipe. It's the worst, but at least I'm not paying for the toilet paper!
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Mar 4, 2016 16:34
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We have a phantom pooper at work, in the girls toilets. There's an email group across the agency just for the girls but my friend forwards on anything funny to me. Someone left poop in the sanity bin, and there's poop appearing on the toilet seat etc. It's pretty funny. Just a burst over the last few weeks, its fun to point fingers. My money is on the girl who works in the International team, shes a drinker.
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Mar 4, 2016 17:41
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Women are pretty much all shitter villains. Worked in a restaurant for 2.5 years in high school and the only time horrible poo poo happened it was in the ladies room. Men much more oftenly have proper respect for the Throne, in my experience. In todays news the chinese buffet is currently melting my rear end in a top hat. They may have conquered my poo poo, but they shall never stop me from shitposting.
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Mar 4, 2016 19:42
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gannyGrabber posted:Women are pretty much all shitter villains. Worked in a restaurant for 2.5 years in high school and the only time horrible poo poo happened it was in the ladies room. Men much more oftenly have proper respect for the Throne, in my experience. Feel the burn....
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Mar 4, 2016 19:46
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i ate a bunch of costco rotisserie chicken and a salad for dinner so im feelin a good poop coming on
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Mar 4, 2016 19:47
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Changed jobs and I have to say I miss office pooing. Pooing in the same bathroom as the general public is the worst. If I don't go before 9am the stalls are wrecked from the muskiest smelling piss and the foulest shits. I pity the janitors that have to deal with that poo poo every day.
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Mar 4, 2016 20:21
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all liquid shìt - felt like that one scene in the critically acclaimed "problem child 2" where the principal shits a firecracker
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Mar 4, 2016 21:57
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getting ready to poop i ate a ton of chicken wangs last night so i know this is good be a good one
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Mar 4, 2016 22:04
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numberoneposter posted:getting ready to poop pics please
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Mar 4, 2016 22:11
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Taking pics of your poo poo is barbaric, shits are best related through the written word, it is an age old tradition.
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Mar 4, 2016 22:38
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snapchat ur shits
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Mar 4, 2016 22:44
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Just took a really satisfying solid poo poo (always a good sign) but then I wiped too quick and enough was hanging out my butt that it kinda dunked in the hole and my buttcheeks caught the top bits so I teabagged the toilet seat with poo water. I cleaned up my mess with soap and water as best I could and washed my hands in scalding hot water. Very Embarrassing.
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Mar 4, 2016 22:59
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You just can't catch a break
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Mar 4, 2016 23:39
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a good poo strat is to sautee some broccoli up and then cover it with sriracha just make sure you have work the next day and early
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Mar 9, 2016 19:10
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The South Australian government once paid me $2000 to make a 3d turd with rag doll physics.
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Mar 10, 2016 03:00
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Sometimes I go to use the urinal and see that the handicap stall is available and decide to go poop there instead at the Cadillac of shared toilets. Target of opportunity. Opporpoonity even.
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Mar 10, 2016 06:14
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Holdin' in a poop because I have a client coming in 10 minutes, this could get ugly
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Mar 11, 2016 16:50
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Un chien andalou posted:How can you overdose if it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier? Do they have some magical way of actually getting high with Imodium? So many questions...
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Mar 11, 2016 17:58
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I've never understood the appeal of work poopin'. What's relaxing about huffing poo poo particles from your coworkers, or listening to your boss grunt and groan in the next stall over?
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Mar 11, 2016 18:13
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I got my diet right on monday and I've been having fewer poops and when I do drop one off it's a nice big solid turd and feels very cathartic.
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Mar 11, 2016 22:40
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Cyril Sneer posted:I've never understood the appeal of work poopin'. What's relaxing about huffing poo poo particles from your coworkers, or listening to your boss grunt and groan in the next stall over? I work in an office that is majority women on my floor so the men's room is basically my own private bathroom, it is unoccupied 90% of the time I go in there.  E: VVV Yea, but you're not getting paid to poop while you're at home. In fact, you have to buy your own toilet paper and pay your water bill, so you are actually PAYING to poop. Bad deal. WampaLord fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Mar 11, 2016 |
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Mar 11, 2016 22:59
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WampaLord posted:I work in an office that is majority women on my floor so the men's room is basically my own private bathroom, it is unoccupied 90% of the time I go in there. My bathroom at home is unoccupied 100% of the time I go in there 
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Mar 11, 2016 23:08
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WampaLord posted:
lol if ur not selling your poo poo to perverts on the internet just lmao
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Mar 11, 2016 23:21
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 DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME HAS THROWN OFF MY poo poo SCHEDULE ALL HANDS ON DECK
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Mar 15, 2016 01:27
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gannyGrabber posted:
So that's what's been wrong with me the past couple days!!
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Mar 15, 2016 02:04
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Ugh brutal getting up at 4:40 this morning for work. Body hadn't finished digesting dinner so when I got to work and pooped it was a runny mess.
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Mar 15, 2016 06:16
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this thread is the apex of shitposting 
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Mar 15, 2016 14:15
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meanwhile at my job, i basically get paid to listen to audiobooks all day. its the best.
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Mar 15, 2016 14:15
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I worked at a soul-crushing job for five years where I took really long 30 minute dumps. The stalls were amazing. We're talking ceiling to floor doors. Now I like my job and I'd rather poop at home.
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Mar 15, 2016 14:19
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Cyril Sneer posted:I've never understood the appeal of work poopin'. What's relaxing about huffing poo poo particles from your coworkers, or listening to your boss grunt and groan in the next stall over? All the bathrooms at my office are single occupancy, no sharing required. I need to talk to the facilities guy about upgrading the toilet paper though. It's not the super lovely half-ply gas station toilet paper but it's not the good stuff either. This company makes way too much money to not buy good toilet paper. What's weird is that there's two types of toilet paper and one is a bit nicer than the other and it's not consistent. I check the bathrooms first and use the one with the higher quality toilet paper. Unless it's the bathroom that is inexplicably 10 degrees colder than the rest of the building and I don't want to be cold. Wonder if it will stay cool during summer or get hot? This post brought to you by office pooing. Getting one in early today. Thanks for listening.
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Mar 15, 2016 15:14
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Eat big on Sunday for maximum Monday work shits.
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Mar 28, 2016 23:47
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Pro tip: If you know you're going to have a real gassy poop punctuated by loud wolfsnap sounding farts, spread your cheeks a little bit as you're pooping to allow the farts a little more room to come out, it cuts the noise down significantly
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Mar 28, 2016 23:53
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Nooner posted:forget poopin' you ever J/O at work? lol if you haven't!!!
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Mar 29, 2016 00:01
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MiracleWhale posted:lol if you haven't!!! 
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Mar 29, 2016 00:08
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Ask Gilchrist: Help Me Stop Stress Farting I've never been flatulent, but since starting my job and moving into a new city, I've been farting on the regular. How do I control myself? Dear Gilchrist: A year ago, I got a great new job and moved to a new city. I'm very happy with my new life except for one thing: I can't stop farting. It began with releasing small 'extras' at meals. Now I build up gas regularly, to the point of farting. Even when I feel empty, even when I feel fine, I continue farting on sugar-free, healthy foods. When I come home, I go straight to the bathroom and release, farting gobs and gobs of gas at a time. I've tried everything to stop—taking gas reducers, making healthier meals, hiding the farts—and I'm successful for a day or two, but then back I go to farting. Please help! I've always been very diligent, but because of the farting I've taken 15 breaks in a very short time. —Getting Desperate
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Mar 29, 2016 00:15
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numberoneposter posted:yeah try and stop me when that new uline catalog arrives 
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Mar 29, 2016 02:52
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Cons: have to work on a Saturday Pros: working all alone so I got to desecrate the womens bathroom
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Apr 2, 2016 21:14
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