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It's hard to fault a Subway sandwich for being bad, because you're generally responsible for picking the toppings (when the lettuce-happy employees aren't two-fisting your sandwich's bread hole with all that iceberg).

For a company whose slogan is "Eat Fresh," it's pretty ballsy that not a single thing on the menu is actually fresh. Either that, or Subway's trying to change the definition of the phrase "eat fresh" to "gently caress you."

In a place that prides itself on being fresh, you shouldn't find scoops of dry, breaded, pre-processed meats sitting in plastic bags, unless they're in the dumpster (which is where they belong). Even the vegetables aren't "fresh" because they're pre-cut and sitting in tubs for an hour or more. The avocado that you have to pay a premium for is usually a browned paste by the time it sullies your sandwich, and the chicken patties are microwaved when ordered. Because when I think "fresh," I think microwave.

And to top off this fresh meal, every Subway employee is trained to ask you if you want to add a bag of chips and a sugary fountain soda to your order. And it works. Keep eating fresh you morons.