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Helsing posted:I'm not denying the existence of rape culture or the need for change and perhaps I'm being suckered in by right wing scare stories but some of the discussions I hear about how consent is being defined in some school curriculums sound like they are entirely premised on men being the only initiator of sexual contact, and call for the removal of any spontaneity from love making or physical affection. Consent doesn't have to be a legally bound written contract. "I want you to gently caress me" is a pretty good one. That's one the woman can use, too!
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Mar 3, 2016 21:46
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Helsing posted:OK, but if I understand it correctly if she says "I want you to gently caress me" and then she grabs me by my shirt, pulls me into a passionate embrace, pulls off my clothes and fucks me, technically she never gained my "affirmative consent" and I could later say that I was raped by her? Or, implicitly, is it just the man who needs to get consent here? Only the most hardcore would demand all affirmative consent to be verbal. Wikipedia (yes, I know) has a pretty good article on consent: quote:Affirmative consent (explicit yes) is when both parties agree to sexual conduct, either through clear, verbal communication or nonverbal cues or gestures.[15] So to answer your question, in that scenario if you, say, took your pants off or stuck your tongue down her throat, congratulations, you've affirmatively consented! Likewise if you push her away, run screaming or say "Not tonight, dear" at any point then that's a clear and unambiguous denial of consent and if she doesn't respect that and continues anyway, you've been raped.
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Mar 3, 2016 22:10
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Helsing posted:Uhhhh, now I have one person claiming this is a fringe position and the other person saying its the essence of affirmative consent It largely depends on individual circumstances. Sex is a complicated thing. You would probably, for example, have different 'rules' during a one-night stand vs a long-term relationship. If a girl asks you into her house for sex, and you go into the house, that is pretty much considered "yes". "Yes, ok" would also be acceptable, as would "Let's do it in the bushes instead"
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Mar 3, 2016 23:24
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Who What Now posted:It takes only seconds to get affirmative consent. How loving spontaneous are these hypothetical sexual encounters that you can't stop to ask "are you ready for a trip to the bone zone, baby?"? Are you literally just sprinting dick-first into some women? Do you rip off breakaway pants the moment you lock eyes with a stranger and just start humping as vigorously as you can? Because that's the only conceivable scenario I can think of where you don't have time to get affirmative consent. There was literally a case in the UK where a Saudi prince was accused of rape and he used the defence of "I was walking, tripped and fell dick first in her" and he got acquitted.
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Mar 3, 2016 23:50
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Casual sex seems like one of those areas where affirmative consent should be the easiest thing in the world to acquire because casual sex is sex for sex's sake and "Do you want to gently caress?" is the key phrase there. If you can't get it during those scenarios you should probably give up on sex having since I don't think you're ever going to be handed an easier, GED scenario than that and if you gently caress it up then god drat.
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Mar 4, 2016 00:22
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