Bollea vs. Gawker (again): I do not have a ten inch penis.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Bollea vs. Gawker (again): I do not have a ten inch penis.

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CombineThresher: Apr 10, 2006; GIT R DONNE

That DICK! posted:

Terry Bollea's 2.4 inch Python

It's not hot.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 19:41

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# ? May 4, 2024 22:25

Marquis de Pyro: Sep 25, 2006; Evil Prevails

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold, funky like a monkey, hulk hogan's penis!

-Macho Man Randy Savage, 1988

# ? Mar 9, 2016 19:56

Miching Mallecho: May 24, 2010

The headline "Porn king to Hulk" was just said in a court of law.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 20:06

Miching Mallecho: May 24, 2010

Hulk's attorney is getting pissed. Lawyer fight.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 20:18

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

The Hulkster's lawyer and Gawker's lawyer just basically got into a shouting match during cross-examination. This trial is everything I hoped.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 20:37

The Cosby Mysteries: Oct 5, 2007; Happy Birthday, Mr. President

"when I heard the news my arms started to shaking violently"

gently caress yeah hogan hulks up in real life when he's angry

# ? Mar 9, 2016 20:51

Marquis de Pyro: Sep 25, 2006; Evil Prevails

I hope they ask Hulk to identify someone in the courtroom, so he can shake his head, dramatically stab his finger at them, and go, YOU!!!

# ? Mar 9, 2016 20:54

Ostentatious: Sep 29, 2010

"You know something brother, you can watch Summerslam and all of the greats on the WWE Network for only 9.99, which I would like to note is shorter than my penis, dude."

*cue crowd chants of Hogan's Dong*

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:03

El Gallinero Gros: Mar 17, 2010

Can't wait until Law and Order: SVU makes an episode based on this case.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:14

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Can't wait until Law and Order: SVU makes an episode based on this case.

They can't possibly make it as ridiculous as the real thing.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:17

Wiccan Wasteland: Oct 15, 2012

ZDar Fan posted:

And it will end with the reveal that the movie was Hogan writing his autobiography.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1WnfMFUqWQ

The Cosby Mysteries posted:

"when I heard the news my arms started to shaking violently"

gently caress yeah hogan hulks up in real life when he's angry

I wish this was being aired on one of those CNN channels so that I could watch it at work. This sounds like gold.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:17

El Gallinero Gros: Mar 17, 2010

SamuraiFoochs posted:

They can't possibly make it as ridiculous as the real thing.

Oh I dunno, the Nirvana "ripped from the headlines" Law and Order episode was fantastically dumb ( The analogue for Dave Grohl did it!)

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:21

Alakaiser: Jan 3, 2007; And the Lord Josh said, "Blessed are those cast away by Belichick, theirs is the kingdom of Denver." (Tebow 1:25)

Never doubt the levels of absurdity SVU is capable of reaching.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 21:35

Miching Mallecho: May 24, 2010

Now up on the stand Prof. ~~Mick~~ Mike Foley

# ? Mar 9, 2016 22:03

projecthalaxy: Dec 27, 2008; Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son

There was a backyard wrestling episode of SVU where if I recall correctly the victim died from being powerbombed through light tubes.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 22:27

Punch McLightning: Sep 19, 2005; you know what that means; Grimey Drawer

Bryan Alvarez going off on AJ Daulrtio on today's WOL is amazing.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 22:27

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

Any updates on Terry's dick

# ? Mar 9, 2016 22:51

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

That DICK! posted:

Any updates on Terry's dick

It's about to make its come back.

It's just not big enough to draw.

# ? Mar 9, 2016 22:56

Distant Chicken: Aug 15, 2007

projecthalaxy posted:

There was a backyard wrestling episode of SVU where if I recall correctly the victim died from being powerbombed through light tubes.

Nah he died from being hit in the nuts with light tubes. The kid who did it like studied his high school anatomy textbook or whatever the gently caress to find the perfect weak point for a fatal blow.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 00:28

Truther Vandross: Jun 17, 2008

Yea it had to involve private parts or something if it was on SVU

# ? Mar 10, 2016 00:49

ZDar Fan: Oct 15, 2012

Alakaiser posted:

Never doubt the levels of absurdity SVU is capable of reaching.

Is that a monkey hiding inside a fake basketball?

# ? Mar 10, 2016 00:55

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

ZDar Fan posted:

Is that a monkey hiding inside a fake basketball?

It's Gawker's first of many surprise witnesses.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 01:01

projecthalaxy: Dec 27, 2008; Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son

Two former WWE champions have weighed in:

Bret Hart posted:

�I am not a big Hogan fan but I will say that when someone tapes you without your knowledge and uses it against you� he�s got a good case maybe that way. As far as damages and stuff. You can never take away what he said. All of the stuff that he said came right out of his own mouth and was his own words. It did a lot of harm to his image. It cost him his relationship with the WWE. Probably for a lot of fans, especially black fans, I think they really saw a side of him that they�ll never really bond with again. Maybe rightfully so. As soon as I saw all that stuff happen I was like, �Wow! How could he make that kind of mistake?�

When you�ve got friends like that Bubba guy that would actually tape you doing all these things and then try to sell those tapes. It sounds like a bunch of slimy people. Hogan is a slimeball and it seems like the kinds of people he hangs out with are slimeballs. Everybody got messy. Everybody got dirty out of that thing. If he makes a lot of money on it, I dunno, I can�t put a price tag on integrity and reputation. You�d never catch Bret Hart saying the things Hulk Hogan said.

The Iron Sheik posted:

CHEAP HEAT IS THE HEAT YOU GET FROM EASY WAY. YOU MAKE SOMEBODY LOOK BAD THAT IS THE CHEAP HEAT. THIS WAY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE GAWKER.

THE GAWKER YOU DUMB NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH YOU GET THE CHEAP HEAT YOU DON�T RESPECT THE PRIVACY YOU HAVE NO CLASS YOU TRY TO BURY THE PEOPLE FROM THE CHEAP HEAT. YOU ARE NOT THE REAL YOU ARE THE JABRONI OF THE EARTH. NOT EVEN THE 100 MILLION MILLION DOLLAR SAVE YOU FROM MAKE THE WORLD A BAD PLACE. YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THE PRIVACY AWAY. I CANT WAIT I SEE MR. GAWKER I SUPLEX YOU PUT YOU IN CAMEL CLUTCH BREAK YOUR HIS BACK I MAKE HIM HUMBLE.

I guess Nick Denton is Mr. Gawker is in this context?

# ? Mar 10, 2016 01:14

El Gallinero Gros: Mar 17, 2010

projecthalaxy posted:

Two former WWE champions have weighed in:

I guess Nick Denton is Mr. Gawker is in this context?

I know his nephews or whatever do all the work these days, but how much of a turd do you have to be where the Iron Sheik takes Hogan's side

# ? Mar 10, 2016 01:34

Flight Bisque: Feb 23, 2008; There is, surprisingly, always hope.

ZDar Fan posted:

Is that a monkey hiding inside a fake basketball?

No, that's esteemed actor and director Dann Florek.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 01:39

HOTLANTA MAN: Jul 4, 2010; by Hand Knit; Lipstick Apathy

Gonzo McFee posted:

It's about to make its come back.

It's just not big enough to draw.

Shot a thousand loads, never drew a dime

# ? Mar 10, 2016 03:16

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

ZDar Fan posted:

Is that a monkey hiding inside a fake basketball?

It's KeMonito.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 03:30

Onmi: Jul 12, 2013; If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

This Trial is everything I was hoping for.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 03:57

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

How big is Bollea's dick?

# ? Mar 10, 2016 05:30

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Terry Bollea's penis is of quantum length

Its size outcome changes if its observed and measured.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 06:01

oatgan: Jan 15, 2009

official court documents state for the public record that hulk hogan is real and his penis is a different length than terry bolea's

# ? Mar 10, 2016 07:10

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 07:15

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Cubone posted:

.... yet.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 07:21

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Lid posted:

Terry Bollea's penis is of quantum length

Its size outcome changes if its observed and measured.

that's uncertain length, a quantum length is by definition the minimal length possible (for a given topic), or, informally, a length on the quantum scale, on the order of things like leptons, hadrons, and the like.

Now, it is clear to me that determining the quantum penis...

you know what, I got to use the phrase "quantum penis" in a context where it made even minimal sense, im content with that.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 08:15

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

GeneX posted:

"quantum penis"

clap clap clapclapclap

# ? Mar 10, 2016 12:37

astrollinthepork: Sep 24, 2007; When you come at the king, you best not miss, snitch

HE KNOWS

projecthalaxy posted:

Two former WWE champions have weighed in:

I absolutely love the dichotomy between these two quotes.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 12:53

Miching Mallecho: May 24, 2010

Sullivan(my son) is grilling Foley right now.

Edit:

Miching Mallecho fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Mar 10, 2016

# ? Mar 10, 2016 15:32

Timby: Dec 23, 2006; Your mother!

Miching Mallecho posted:

Sullivan(my son) is grilling Foley right now.

Edit:

Ed Begley Jr.?

# ? Mar 10, 2016 15:46

NotQuiteQuentin: Jan 29, 2005; BIG OVER; College Slice

today we learned that having someone who hasn't been a reporter for 42 years might be a bad idea for an expert witness.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 17:23

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# ? May 4, 2024 22:25

Punch McLightning: Sep 19, 2005; you know what that means; Grimey Drawer

Also, apparently someone who never actually looked at the post that is at the center of the trial or looked at anything beyond what was provided by Hogan's legal team.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 18:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Bollea vs. Gawker (again): I do not have a ten inch penis.

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