FactsAreUseless posted:

*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today?

I uh... my husband was telling me how, ah, how the vacuum cleaner works today.

Mm-hmm.

And he's never vacuumed.

Ah, I see.

It's just... yeah. You know?

Well, sweetie. Can I call you sweetie?

I'd prefer--

Sweetheart, listen. Listen. What you do is, you pour yourself a glass of something nice. What do you like? Wine? Red wine?

I - I'm sorry, I thought this was--

Mansplaining Hotline, hon, I'm trying to help you out here. Listen, get a glass of wine, put your feet up for a bit. Okay? Your husband, what's his name?

Um. Bill. It's uh--

Bill, right. Right. Hon, Bill's just trying to help out. You understand that, right?

I don't think--

I mean, listen, sweetie, your husband's at work all day, what's he do, he an engineer?

He's in sales, but I don't see how that--

Sales, awesome, great job, my dad was in sales. Great job. And you stay home, right? How many kids?

I'm a dentist, you little--

Haha, that's great hon, that's fantastic. Hey, listen, babe? Babe, I've gotta go, I'm getting a text from this ka-razy chick named Megan, you would not believe what - but hey, you're a married gal, you've been around, right?

What?

Anyway, thanks for calling the Mansplaining Hotline. Glad I could help. You stay chill, sugar tits. I'm audi 5000.

*click*