|
Might as well call it "Batman Wins. Kinda. It's A Bit of a Mess." Highlights of the film include Superman diving after a kryptonite spear at the bottom of a well, only for his half-dead body to float to the top minutes later, spear in hand. Batman is really angry 100% of the time, but hesitates finishing off Supes because he mentions the name "Martha." Martha Wayne being his mother, Batman is SHOCKED that someone else could go by that name, and falls back in amazement. Clark Kent's boss spends nearly an hour and a half of the film going "WHERE THE HELL IS KENT" as Superman mopes around the globe. Movie was super clunky trying to work all the Justice League poo poo in, and it was waaaaaaaaaaay too long to boot. But hey, Wonder Woman solos most of Doomsday while Superman nearly drowns as mentioned earlier and Batman looks on in wonderment realizing he can't loving hang with Doomsday. Also there's like a ten minute long hallucination/premonition about Darkseid, and it's pointless and possibly time travel related. gently caress this movie though.
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 09:49
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 00:45 |
|
|
I didn't pay poo poo. I got paid to watch it, I work at a movie theater. I think I'd have rather gone to bed though
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 10:31
|
|
|
I previewed it, the midnight release is tomorrow. I won't be working at the time, thankfully. Then again, because my company is so sure this movie is going to destroy records despite garbage review scores, I've gotta open the building on Friday around 8:30am. Which sucks nearly as bad as the movie did.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 10:36
|
|
|
Batman's motive makes sense at the beginning, but after a certain point even Alfred's like "dude this is retarded have you even tried talking to him?" And then Superman tries talking to him, gets upset and flings Batman/Power Armor forty yards away. Just lovely negotiators, these two. There are cameos of Flash and Aquaman, and holy  are they great. Security footage of The Guy Who Is The Flash (no costume) trying to choose a gallon of milk before saving a convenience store owner being robbed at gunpoint. Aquaman's is remote submarine footage approaching an undersea wreck, before a pair of glowing eyes swim out from the darkness inside. BOOM, Aquaman swims up to the submarine, hair flowing magnificently in the water, before....waiting like 30 seconds to do anything, and then using his trident to...I dunno, punch the sub or something. Riveting.Also Lex Luthor knows who everybody is the whole time, I guess? Or figures it out offscreen? I dunno.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 11:35
|
|
|
Shaquin posted:why did they let ben affleck be kind of fat for this or is it just that he looks chub when jacked There's a scene where he works out even MORE to prep for his fight with Superman. He doesn't look chub in it. Maybe that scene was added just for you.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 11:45
|
|
|
the armor is essentially just a decorative plot device to silence nerds who'd scream "BATMAN COULDN'T TAKE A PUNCH FROM ANGRY SUPERMAN." There's nothing special about it at all aside from it being armor.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 11:51
|
|
|
I think some people are taking my breaking news in the OP seriously. I had pretty low expectations for the film, really. A little late to say that though I guess.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 17:57
|
|
|
WampaLord posted:OP, I have heard tale that a jar of piss figures prominently into the plot, specifically, the piss of Lex Luthor. Can you illuminate details of the piss jar and how it is important to the plot of the movie where Superman and Batman fight? There is an anti-Superman senator that wants Superman to attend a hearing and explain his actions. Basically, while Superman means well when he saves people, there are also moments where he drops into locations where Lois Lane is investigating (a Middle Eastern terror cell?) and takes care of business. Gets rid of the terror cell, but in response another group murders everyone in that village. So this senator wants Superman to work with them and stop clumsily brute forcing rescues in dangerous areas. Lex Luthor appeals to this senator, asking for her support in allowing him to pursue kryptonite weaponry as a deterrent to the "red capes." The senator makes a quip about how back in Kentucky her father had a saying about being careful about people who offer you Granny's Peach Tea when it's really just a jar of piss. She turns down Luthor, saying she recognizes an assassination tool when she hears about one. Later, when Superman finally attends a hearing at Capitol Hill, Lex Luthor is supposed to attend but doesn't for "reasons," but sends a legless man in his place. I guess the dude lost his legs in the aftermath of Metropolis exploding in Man of Steel, whatever. As Superman listens to the senator, she notices a jar on her desk labled "Granny's Peach Tea." She stumbles in her speech, panics, looks around the room, and realizes too late as the wheelchair man explodes, destroying Capitol Hill. They thought they were very clever in this movie.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2016 23:50
|
|
|
The magic lasso is in the movie for 30 seconds, and I lost my poo poo when I saw it. If they had included WW's invisible jet I would have given this movie a 10/10 despite everything wrong with it.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2016 02:05
|
|
|
Suicide Squad still looks like the better film, but honestly it could be trash and it'd still beat BvS:DoJ (EMA) EMA stands for Eat My rear end
|
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2016 16:23
|
|
|
I'm sure it's really colorful. That's about it.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2016 16:43
|
|
|
Sp1r0_Agn3W posted:my favorite thing was lois jumping in and almost drowning, being saved, then superman who saved her also jumping in and also almost drowning
|
|
#
¿
Mar 26, 2016 16:59
|
|
|
Doflamingo posted:Speaking of, why did Lex blow up Capitol Hill? The lady senator posed no threat and he didn't even try to frame Superman for it like I thought he would. What was the point? I think lex is just crazy and got hella butthurt
|
|
#
¿
Mar 26, 2016 17:37
|
|
|
Sp1r0_Agn3W posted:nobody remembers the best comic movie ever I need to see this. Now.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 27, 2016 03:04
|
|
|
Michaellaneous posted:CD is a poo poo subforum full of idiots 
|
|
#
¿
Mar 27, 2016 19:39
|
|
|
Why are my most successful threads movie threads? Is that all I'm good for? Yes.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2016 01:36
|
|
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2016 09:03
|
|
|
I can't wait for the rated R version of this movie where they say Martha and then Batman is all like gently caress Martha and then he like fucks Wonder Woman and screams poo poo and PISS and Doomsday gets his rear end shot off with a rifle that's halfway up his rear end in a top hat. Kickin rad
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2016 09:31
|
|
|
Black Bones posted:It's actually pretty good opie. I'm sorry you didn't like it, and wish you all the best in movie watching in the future. What the gently caress did you just say to me motherfucker?!??! 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2016 05:35
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:i liked the part(s) where luke cage and jessica jones banged. The whole show should just be them banging like superheroes in places, breaking stuff I wished multiple times that Jessica Jones would bang me Also b v s is still bad
|
|
#
¿
Apr 15, 2016 18:44
|
|
|
Thank you for your story.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 15, 2016 21:09
|
|
|
the promise of anal beads in suicide squad has really sold me on the film i constantly ask myself "what can really turn this movie around?" when i watch super hero movies the answer is anal beads Hey everybody, why is my dumb gay thread more successful than me at everything?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2016 07:09
|
|
|
I think it helps that most of the tumblr appeal moves that Marvel has made seem to be paying off reasonably well. Miss Marvel, for one, has been a ton of a fun in nearly every series she's popped in for. That doesn't change the fact that Marvel woke up one day and decided 4-5 superheros needed new identities, but hey at least it's not all terrible. Most are defensive about it due to an abundance of people who bitch about the changes for reasons other than trolling.
|
|
#
¿
May 4, 2016 21:28
|
|
|
Anyone who didn't like Adam West Batman is a piece of poo poo.
|
|
#
¿
May 5, 2016 01:55
|
|
|
 jesus christ it belongs in a museum
|
|
#
¿
May 6, 2016 00:22
|
|
|
The people defending this movie should be put on the electric chair.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2016 18:11
|
|
|
Good idea thanks man
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2016 18:36
|
|
|
Nefarious 2.0 posted:martha     
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2016 18:58
|
|
|
Let's not drag Ultron into this. This thread can barely contain one bad movie as it is.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2016 21:21
|
|
|
a better movie than BvS???
|
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2016 21:58
|
|
|
There is nothing more patriotic than hating this movie. Happy 4th, everyone.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 5, 2016 04:14
|
|
|
I for one enjoyed Apocalypse being defeated by beams of both steel and eye laser varieties.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2016 08:24
|
|
|
Gatts posted:Batman vs Superman is a much better movie than Civil War and yet I can watch Civil War 3 times and still be entertained cause it's light and enjoyable. I didn't make this thread so that monsters like you could come in here and loving ruin it. Triggered, literally shaking right now
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2016 16:51
|
|
|
CANNIBAL GIRLS posted:Saying that you would take Michael Bay over Zach Snyder isn't necessarily praise, yo.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 11, 2016 09:31
|
|
|
More attempts at making this work, thanks Hollywood
|
|
#
¿
Jul 11, 2016 20:51
|
|
|
Moridin920 posted:If you asked me who is a good actor idk that Nick Cage would ever pop into my head but I've thoroughly enjoyed all his work that I've seen and I like the guy Face Off
|
|
#
¿
Jul 11, 2016 23:39
|
|
|
Xenomrph posted:Drive Angry is the best Ghost Rider movie to date, it owns. William Fichtner is a boss in that movie. Yep. Movie owned.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2016 04:56
|
|
|
Prokhor Zakharov posted:found snyder's inspiration belongs in a museum
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2016 09:33
|
|
|
100 pages of making GBS threads on this movie. I'm so proud.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2016 22:18
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 00:45 |
|
|
Legitimate question: Can he see through kryptonite stuff or is that more just "this poo poo fucks him up if he comes into contact with it.?"
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2016 06:11
|
|