Breaking News: Batman vs Superman is bad

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Breaking News: Batman vs Superman is bad

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Libelous Slander posted:

I thought they did this in the first tomb raider movie and people were mad so the sequel had her normal boobs

Not quite, they padded Angelina Jolie's bra for parts of the first movie, and then for the sequel they just opted not to because "audiences were accepting of Angelina Jolie" and didn't think it was necessary.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 16:39

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 03:54

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Mel Mudkiper posted:

I really wish I understood how Zizek became the "it" guy for critical theory this generation

Zizek gets a lot of poo poo, and there's a ton of people in CineD who (mis)quote the poo poo out of him, but 'The Pervert's Guide to Cinema' is on Netflix and it's legit interesting and way, way more coherent than you'd think it would be based on how CineD applies him.
His accent takes some getting used to, but he doesn't disappear up his own rear end in a top hat nearly as much as I expected.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 02:38

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Pvt.Scott posted:

Frankly, an Amazon with both tits is a shameful Amazon.

Gal Gadot actually talked about this very point on Conan recently, it was pretty entertaining.

Also like an idiot I tried posting in the CineD thread for this movie. I should have known better.
Like, I'd like to think I wasn't saying anything outlandish, but some of the film's defenders are acting like I'm a literal crazy person. I, just, I don't even know :psyduck:

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 04:04

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Full disclosure: I liked Transformers 4 the most out of any of the Transformers movies. Like yeah it's not high art, but the plot made sense, the characters were easy to tell apart, the action was cool and easy to follow, and the three villains were cool and interesting while having distinct motivations that were easy to understand.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 04:31

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

achillesforever6 posted:

There's one person there who has been pushing so hard all the news, set pics, and featurettes about BvS and about how much Wonder Woman is totally going to kick rear end and looks badass that I wouldn't be suprised if he or she was paid by WB to shill.

Was it the person I was responding to?

Like the cognitive dissonance in that thread was staggering. Here's a real life paraphrase of something someone said to me: "Movies don't have to 'earn' anything, and it's hosed up that you think they do."
Was I getting trolled? I was getting trolled, right? Am I just an idiot?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 06:41

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

oldpainless posted:

It depends on what is being "earned".

Audience goodwill? Faith that a series of movies is going to be good?
Or on a smaller scale, if a movie wants me to accept that a character is a certain way but then doesn't show that.

Apparently in CineD's world, it's outlandish to think that a Wonder Woman's gratuitous cameo was anything more than a gratuitous cameo, and that the movie was coasting by strictly on pop culture recognition of "Wonder Woman". Apparently it's downright ridiculous to expect the movie to make me care about Wonder Woman as a character in the movie, because I already have a preconceived cultural idea of who Wonder Woman is and that should be sufficient.
But if I point out that I also had a preconceived cultural idea that Jimmy Olsen wouldn't get shot in the face, or that Batman wouldn't use guns to murder people, or that Superman wouldn't be a brooding, threatening rear end in a top hat, and therefore preconceived cultural ideas are meaningless since the movie ignores them at the drop of a hat, then suddenly I'm being unreasonable.

:psypop:

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 10:05

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Vintersorg posted:

lol at this loving safe zone poo poo from some regular CineD posters (hodor, xeno)

BvS wasn't perfect but the bile being spewed by nerds isn't surprising.

Muh muh muh Superman and Batman destroyed by that FUKKEN AYN RAND OBJECTIONIST JOCK!!!!!!!!

Yeah dawg that's not really what's being said. It's more like people bringing up actual legitimate real life honest to god criticisms and then getting shouted down because heaven forbid anyone be critical of Zach Snyder's "art".

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 16:14

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Vintersorg posted:

Zack Snyder is an attack on their hobby is what I gleam from it all. It explains the anger so many people had with MoS and now BvS. Since these are drastically different but enjoyable (to me and others) takes on the characters it's not right in their heads.

There are legitimate gripes. The movie jumps all over the place and after 2 viewings it's still not enjoyable. Doomsday was stupid. The spear scene was stupid as well.

But I enjoy this Superman and now the new Batman. Can't say anything about Wonder Woman.

But from everything I read, Zack Snyder has personally poo poo in everyone's mouth. It reminds me of the hatred from nerds going on about George Lucas raping their childhoods (but with love... With love).

I have nothing against Zach Snyder, honest to god. I've really liked the vast majority of his movies (haven't seen Sucker Punch), and visually I liked 'Man of Steel' and I'm willing to overlook the "NOT MY SUPERMAN!!!" stuff because it's kinda an origin story where Superman is finding himself and learning to be Superman, and I can respect that.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 16:40

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

boom boom boom posted:

The problem with that is we have no idea what kind of Superman he is at the end. His first superheroics ended with Superman murdering the bad guy, doe s that mean this Superman is OK with murder? I guess they answer that in BvS, but I at least didn't have a strong idea of the character at the end of Man of Steel.

Ehhh I'm willing to overlook Superman killing Zod because Zod outright says "the only way you're going to stop me from killing your precious humans is by killing me", and then straight up forces Superman to do it even as Superman begs him not to, and then Superman cries in anguish after he kills him. Like, it's not like Superman snapped Zod's neck and then stood over him with a smirk and a pithy one-liner, he's visibly distraught over what he had to do. That makes me think Superman is opposed to murder, but will do it if he has no other choice (and he won't enjoy it).

Granted BvS undoes this by having him be a brooding, angry rear end in a top hat, but I'm just talking about MoS in a vacuum here.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 16:53

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

boom boom boom posted:

Yeah, it's a shame Superman couldn't figure out a way around that. I mean, it's not like he's Superman

Well the point was that he wasn't Superman yet, and that's why I was willing to overlook it.

Eh I guess he could have tried to fly Zod out into space or something, but he was dealing with a literal warrior with years of combat experience, who is gradually getting superpowers that will make him indestructible, and Superman is just some guy with superpowers in comparison. It really wasn't a big deal for me.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 17:06

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Rutibex posted:

well why doesn't the flash fix all of the words problems then?!

Because when he tries, you get Flashpoint (the latest DC reboot). :suicide:

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 17:07

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

a retard posted:

i'm convinced that the son didn't burst into flames and fly around so marvel wouldn't sue

The irony being that several years later, Disney bought Marvel so it wouldn't have loving mattered haha

Also I read that Eisenberg isn't interested in playing Lex Luthor anymore, making his performance the ultimate troll. poo poo all over the character and then peace out and let the studio and future directors deal with the fallout.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 04:38

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

mclast posted:

do you have a source because that is one of the funniest things i can picture an actor doing

I misspoke, Eisenberg wants to return but the studio hasn't told him of any future plans to use Luthor yet.

http://screencrush.com/jesse-eisenberg-lex-luthor-justice-league/

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 04:58

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

mclast posted:

if goyer worked on the nolan batmans, i'm pretty sure the only thing i didn't like about BvS was snyder

i can see him getting work after 300, but after Watchmen needed a 3 hours directors cut for apologists to like it, what idiot in the world entrusted him with their tentpole movies

eisenberg is a workable Lex

I genuinely liked Watchmen (both the theatrical cut and the director's cut).
Like yeah the original comic is better for many reasons, but the movie does a really admirable job of adapting it and keeping it intact, and happens to fix some of the goofier poo poo from the comic that would make mainstream audiences say "wait, what?"

Like I said, I really don't mind Snyder on the whole. He's got an interesting style and it lends itself well to certain projects, I just don't think Superman is one of them.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 06:25

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

lazorexplosion posted:

loving lol at the CD posters who see people edging away from their dumb opinions to laugh at them at discrete distance away and interpret it as people going to SAFE SPACES to MELT DOWN because they can't handle THE VISIONARY QUALITIES OF BATMAN VS SUPERMAN.

My favorite exchange of late was when someone likened this thread to being a Bizarro version of the CineD thread, going so far as to say that their thread would softly weep as it beat this thread to death.

You know, as if their thread isn't the one championing a moody, violent, unrelatable (Bizarro) Superman.

:ironicat:

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 04:54

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

ChogsEnhour posted:

Hahahaha. And Jesus, where was that "Superman beats a retarded Bizarro to death" bit from again? That was someone's idea in CineD, right?

The recent post was in CineD, but it's a reference to an actual for real Superman comic where Superman actually does cry while he beats Bizarro to death.

I don't know specifically what comic it is, I haven't read it but I know it exists.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 09:02

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Doflamingo posted:

I saw Alien when I was six and it was fine, whatever.

I saw Alien when I was nine and it had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 14:48

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:

Ant Man was good and I will not tolerate any arguments, friend.

Seconding this, Ant Man was way better than I expected. It was legitimately funny at times, and was a cool "heist" movie in its own right. It felt different from your average Marvel fare while still feeling like it was a part of the larger whole.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 00:18

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Ron Paul Atreides posted:

it was solid, woulda been better if the wasp actually got to do poo poo as the wasp and if he was actually a cat burglar instead of a corporate robin hood since then everyone being suspicious of him would make sense but for Marvel's usual aversion to actually let their characters be less than 100% good guys it worked. Also would've helped to make Pym a bit more morally grey but w/e

Also the train toy should've crumpled when it got big and smashed into the wall because by their own premise you get stronger due to higher density ergo weaker due to lower density but now I'm just being petty

The Wasp will be in the sequel, the title of the sequel is apparently 'Ant Man and the Wasp'.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 02:23

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Ghost Head posted:

Ant-man was actually good

While this is true, I do wish we'd get a solo Black Widow movie with Black Widow doing clandestine spy/assassination poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 00:27

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

akulanization posted:

I'd like to see it. Though honestly I'd like to see them take another female hero and give them a solo outing a little more at this point. Black Widow is a major player in the ensemble films that they do like every year now; so we see a fair amount of her, and it isn't like she's getting shortchanged in the films she's in. I don't know who they have as good female hero material, Janet Pym's in the Ant Man sequel, and the Wasp is the only female Marvel hero that comes to my mind readily who isn't an x-man. Captain Marvel is a woman right now right? They could probably make that work. That said, Widow's backstory might be enough to carry a decent movie.

I assume you mean the fact that they have custom made robot bodies when you say they have in universe excuses, right? Also I thought Mokoto looking strange compared to her teammates was a deliberate thing since she's had a robot body for like her whole life. I kinda wished they went whole hog and cast a black actress or something for the role now, much better than purple anime hair for conveying her alienation from what her "natural" body would have been.

Yeah, Captain Marvel is a woman now, and she's getting her own movie in 2019 or something.

As for other Marvel women who could carry solo features, you could probably pull off a She Hulk comedic courtroom drama series on Netflix or whatever channel Agents of Shield is on

A Black Widow movie just seems like a no-brainer, since the character has carried her own solo comic well enough several times over the years and Marvel already has an actress in the role that audiences like, and we got to see her do some cool spy poo poo in Winter Soldier and people reacted positively to that.
Like yeah you couldn't really have her going toe to toe with high-stakes mega-powerful supervillains but her backstory and skill set lend themselves well to any number of solo stories. "A shadowy figure from Black Widow's Soviet/pre-Shield past resurfaces and she gets framed for the assassination of [pick a character], and now she has to go on a globe-trotting adventure full of shady characters and mystery and intrigue to clear her name and uncover the real killer". I just came up with that off the top of my head, the plots practically write themselves.
And people would line up to see it just because it's Marvel and it's Scarlett Johansson.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 02:54

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

boom boom boom posted:

ok, but nobody cares about the others. Hell, people care about the current one because of a pretty concerted push to make people care. maybe the lesbian Captain Marvel will show up in Guardians of the Galaxy 2

That's the one who's getting her own solo movie in a few years.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 03:31

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Otisburg posted:

To be fair, the conceit was they needed Rape Man alive to get blonde girl acquited by somehow proving his mind mojo.

Yeah and then they killed her anyway so none of it loving mattered.

The show really was grimdark just for shock value's sake, and it started to wear thin at the end. I think my eyes just about rolled out of their sockets when Jessica finds Purple Man's dad, dismembered on the apartment floor, with some henchman feeding an arm into the garbage disposal or blender or something, and the camera just lingers on the hacked up stumps where his arms used to be.
And then she checks on the body and he's still alive because OF COURSE he's still alive.

Comic books, everybody!
Jesus Christ.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 16:28

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Whack posted:

Please merge this thread with the BvS thread in CD. I want to see some sparks fly.

It'd be even better if the CineD thread was moved to GBS

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 18:08

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

this has always struck me as hilarious since she's an avowed zionist who's already managed to piss off folks as a barely-famous star. it's only a matter of time before she says something too stupid to hand wave away.

I know nothing about Gal Gadot, can you elaborate on this?

# ¿ Apr 24, 2016 18:22

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Otisburg posted:

i mean i would get it if we were talking about some lars von treir/gaspar noe joint, or schindler's list/life is beautiful

but i feel like maybe it is okay for a movie about two comic book punch mans punching eachother to have a little fun with it.

I want a lighthearted Holocaust movie just for the hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing it would generate online, especially if the movie managed to somehow be competently-made in spite of its tone.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2016 05:32

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Jonas Albrecht posted:

Was Slime Grime's car called The Dump Truck?

e: Did he ascend buildings with a Crappling Gun?

I laughed at this way harder than I probably should have. :marc:

# ¿ Apr 25, 2016 14:58

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Pvt.Scott posted:

That guy sounds like he'd fit right in with the Image Comics Cinematic Universe. We need to get Spawn and uh, like, uh Savage Dragon and Witchblade and The Maxx, Venom X and Youngblood or some poo poo, give them all stand alone movies with interwoven cameos then build to some sort of mega-squad poo poo. Maybe throw in Bone?

E: Was Gen 13 Image or one of the subsidiaries? Cause people love super teams.

Gen13 was Wildstorm, now DC.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 00:47

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Agent Venom is cool when he's used right, and he's got a cameo in one of the more recent Carnage comics that goes right off the deep end into full-retard, but goes so full-bore that it wraps back around to being hilarious/amazing.

So the setup is that Carnage (the most 90s EXTREEEEEME villain possible) has taken over a Midwestern town using the symbiote because he's a crazy person and why not.

Kletus Casidy, the host of the Carnage symbiote, had lost his lower half in an earlier story, so he can only walk around when he's wearing the symbiote, which simulates his legs. Likewise, Flash Thompson is a war vet who lost his legs, so same deal with the Venom suit.

Agent Venom shows up to stop Carnage, and a sonic weapon goes off and knocks both symbiotes off, leaving two unarmed, legless guys laying on the ground, wondering what the gently caress.
So they do the obvious and have a literal cripple fight in the middle of the street.

Meanwhile the two symbiotes make it to a nearby zoo and start possessing random zoo animals and beating the poo poo out of each other.

It's totally loving crazy and the only thing that saves it is that it doesn't take itself seriously at all

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 05:20

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Judakel posted:

Some twat called zod a nuanced villain over at cined so clearly he knows what he is doing checkmate

Nuanced might be going a bit far, but I'll give MoS credit that it made Zod an interesting and sympathetic villain. He wasn't trying to wreck poo poo just to be an rear end in a top hat, his motivations made sense.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 18:50

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

lol no they didn't

He wanted to preserve Krypton by terraforming Earth and repopulating it with Kryptonians

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 23:18

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

You're right, I guess Zod was a bit of a petty idiot

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 23:50

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:

And then the best part of that when winter comes, it freezes to death.

I feel like a huge idiot, but what is that quote from? Like I know it's from some sort of animal/pest control boondoggle, right?

# ¿ May 4, 2016 16:18

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

a retard posted:

yep. it's in tv ads as well. basically if you see tweets being used to hype a movie up odds are the movie is total poo poo

it's the modern equivalent of showing positive critic reviews but the critics are from some lovely local tv station in montana

That or the reviews are butchered quotes with a bunch of ellipses.

"Batman v Superman is [...] not [...] terrible [...] !"

# ¿ May 5, 2016 00:26

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

boom boom boom posted:

You don't even have to troll, just disagree. I told them I didn't like Under the Skin and they freaked the gently caress out.

I will say that their freakout motivated me to actually watch the movie (I thought it was... okay, I guess? A little bit too abstract and up its own rear end for my tastes?)

# ¿ May 23, 2016 12:06

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Zzulu posted:

Are there any good female superheroes? My dad beat me up and told me that there were none

These are all pretty contingent on who's writing them, but Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel/Ms Marvel, She-Hulk, and Black Widow have had good runs within the last decade or so, if you want to stick to DC/Marvel.
If you want to go into smaller publishers, Witchblade started out as hokey male-gaze 90s T&A cheesecake and managed to somehow evolve into an actually interesting and competent supernatural police-procedural series.

# ¿ May 23, 2016 19:45

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

The problem with that is that the actual real-world evidence doesn't support it - just look at the critical and commercial success of Marvel Studios stuff vs DC's efforts. Like, it's self-evident.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 16:47

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The DC cinematic universe only has 2 films so far and when the MCU started out they had a bunch of films that were only moderately successful. The first two MCU films were Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk and Man of Steel only made slightly less money than Iron Man but Batman v Superman made a whole lot more money than The Incredible Hulk.

Like, I don't doubt that the DC films could just get worse and worse if they stick to their "Grim and Gritty" business plan but we won't actually know if that gamble will pay off for a few years now. It could be that Aquaman is the movie which clicks with the audience and turns the DCCU around.

The difference with that "moderate success" was that the Marvel movies were well received, building goodwill towards what Marvel was trying to do. In the end that paid off big time with the Avengers, and they've been riding that wave ever since.

DC started out with one lukewarm film, and then doubled down on all the things people reacted negatively to, while simultaneously shoehorning in Wonder Woman AND shoehorning in cameos for the rest of the Justice League, as if to say "aren't you excited????"
If the upcoming movies are going to be like what we've gotten so far, then no I am not excited.

I really want to be wrong about DC's grand design, but so far they're just not showing it.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 17:37

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I'm guessing that audiences' reactions to Suicide Squad are going to be a crucial litmus test on the viability of the franchise

I'm right there with you on that one. Personally I thought the last two SS trailers (the ones that used Queen and Ballroom Blitz) were a hoot, if the actual movie maintains that tone then I'm totally onboard.
I'm also cautiously optimistic that Wonder Woman will be cool, but I think it runs a bigger risk of going "grimdark 110%" than Suicude Squad does.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 17:55

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 03:54

Xenomrph: Dec 9, 2005; AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

"Daddy, can I play under the helicopters?"

Holy poo poo

# ¿ Jul 6, 2016 17:30

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