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Ever get a uncomfortable hug from a drag queen and wake up in a cold sweat the next 4 nights?
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Mar 31, 2016 18:34
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MiracleWhale posted:I don't have a radio, is this show available via podcast it sure isn't, caller! i don't know if you caught my interview on monday with producer larry (god rest his soul), but we talked about our new initiative of selling shows in jars! i've got a bunch of tubes in my mouth hooked up to mason jars, and at the end of the show we seal them up, write a label on some masking tape and sell em through the mail! let me know your address and credit card number and we'll ship you off a show! i guess what i'm saying is you need to turn that hard earned dough into a jar of my show
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Mar 31, 2016 18:35
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OctoberBlues posted:Hi Jerry how about you answer my loving questioN!! hey caller, we're trying to talk about gripes on this morning's show! and if you're gripe is that i didn't answer your question then i know a nice open burial plot next to producer larry that i can set you up in! 
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Mar 31, 2016 18:37
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:hey caller, we're trying to talk about gripes on this morning's show! and if you're gripe is that i didn't answer your question then i know a nice open burial plot next to producer larry that i can set you up in! Well Jerry I'm reporting you to the FCC, your next gripe will be with them!
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Mar 31, 2016 18:38
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MiracleWhale posted:I don't have a radio, is this show available via podcast No, its a dying show anyways. Look at how awful the host is.
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Mar 31, 2016 18:38
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Jerry I have a gripe: nosey doctors!
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Mar 31, 2016 18:39
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My gripe is huggy drag queens
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Mar 31, 2016 18:39
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My gripe is bad talk shows. Mumphrey knows a lot about those.
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Mar 31, 2016 18:44
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:well well we-hee-hee-heeeel hey there wireless fans and welcome to another installment of mornings with mumphrey where we take your mondays and turn em into mumphreys! yo yo yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO J to tha MUMPH! i've been listening to your show since back when you used to run it outta that knocked-over latrine behind the Bol-Mor lanes. well, i never had a reason to call in before but this is just eatin away at me something awful. every time i go into the closed off room upstairs it gets really loving cold and i start hearing these crazy voices telling me to shoot up a school! what's your take on this? i already checked the insulation and everything's just fine so i can't make heads nor tails of this poo poo nohow
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Mar 31, 2016 18:49
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Microwaves Mom posted:No, its a dying show anyways. Look at how awful the host is. can't stumph the mumph
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Mar 31, 2016 18:49
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GIVE ME MY MONEY MUMPHREY I'LL KILL YOU. I'LL loving KILL YOU.
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Mar 31, 2016 18:49
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is this show pre-recorded? It's Thursday, not Monday!
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Mar 31, 2016 18:50
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Applewhite posted:Jerry I have a gripe: nosey doctors! i know what you mean caller! everytime i go to the doctor it's a million questions that they have no business asking! i don't know if you caught my interview with privacy expert edward snowden but we chatted at length about this exact issue. the solution that the snowman and i came up with is murder. for too long these charlatans have prodded into our lives and our anuses with impunity! the trouble with murder though is you can go to jail for a long time if you don't do it right, so you have to use your noggin a little bit! my favourite way to murder a doctor is to stash a small, fragile vial of powerful acid in your rectum. when ol sawbones sticks a finger up for a looksee, the vial breaks and he gets dissolved from the finger on down! you're going to want to protect yourself here, so have a friend or loved one funnel a melted candle up your rear end to create a protective wax coating. i guess what i'm saying is you need to send that physician to a mortician
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Mar 31, 2016 18:59
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Claven666 posted:yo yo yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO J to tha MUMPH! haha well caller, i make my living giving out advice over the radio, so i can't really say you shouldn't listen to a disembodied voice! i guess what i'm saying is you need to let those voices dictate your choices
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Mar 31, 2016 19:02
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Mumph-dawg, my man! How do I tell my Wife she has terminal scabies? I'll hang up and take my answer off the air.
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Mar 31, 2016 19:08
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See how he tries to ignore me? He cannot, he fears me though, he fears me so much. The mumph knows the hammer is comin and the hammer is gonna slam down hard.
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Mar 31, 2016 19:08
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Jerry you know what makes me gripe? How we just sit here and let Obamacare take away American jobs meanwhile Ben Ghazi is still on the loose and "Hell"arry "Clod"ton hasn't done a thing about it! I tell ya! I tell you what America needs is another Hitler. He'd whip all these millenniums into shape, and shut down the internet while he was at it!
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Mar 31, 2016 19:11
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Microwaves Mom posted:See how he tries to ignore me? t-that's all the time we have today on mornings with mumphrey. thanks for listening and may god have mercy on your souls. stay tuned for this week in butt sex with homosexual hank
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Mar 31, 2016 19:17
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leaves radio on. pulls it slowly into bathtub.
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Mar 31, 2016 19:18
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:t-that's all the time we have today on mornings with mumphrey. thanks for listening and may god have mercy on your souls. I'm the scratching on your second story window at night Mumphrey, its not the tree branches in the wind. It is me. Clawing, coming to get in. Im coming for you Mumph... I'm coming...
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Mar 31, 2016 19:18
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Jerry Mumphrey? More like Hubert Humphrey. 
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Mar 31, 2016 19:19
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my loyal listeners. if you ever loved me please defend me
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Mar 31, 2016 19:21
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i hope your sports team loses
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Mar 31, 2016 19:22
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Cantaloupe posted:first time long time is kind of an oxymoron lol First time caller long time listener, someone hang up on this newb
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Mar 31, 2016 19:37
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Mumph... MUMPH... MUMPH! Don't walk away, Mumph!
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Mar 31, 2016 19:38
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HEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JERRRY Love the show man Listen I got a problem with the girl I've been going out with. She keeps getting into the fridge and sucking down all the grape squeeze jam, I'm going though dozens of bottles of the stuff a week! Any advice?! Take me out with a bong hit, a flush and an atom bomb bayyyyybeeeeeeee raton fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Mar 31, 2016 |
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Mar 31, 2016 19:40
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Applewhite posted:Jerry you know what makes me gripe? How we just sit here and let Obamacare take away American jobs meanwhile Ben Ghazi is still on the loose and "Hell"arry "Clod"ton hasn't done a thing about it! I tell ya!
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Mar 31, 2016 19:40
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please help me. I have left a coded brail message in kosher salt in the agreed upon place
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Mar 31, 2016 19:42
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throws single rose down jerrys spiderhole. h.t.h
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Mar 31, 2016 19:45
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j mumph I hope you die in the next few years, thanks, love the show
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Mar 31, 2016 19:52
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Jerry, longtime listener here. Can I email your wife?
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Mar 31, 2016 19:58
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:please help me. I have left a coded brail message in kosher salt in the agreed upon place sorry my humps, my humps, my lovely J-to-tha-mumphs but i don't speak braille and i can't even help you anyway in account of the police has been chasin me all over the county today for soem reaosn
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Mar 31, 2016 20:03
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:my loyal listeners. if you ever loved me please defend me what is love though jerey
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Mar 31, 2016 20:06
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jerry jerry jerry, can't you see that everybody wants to put their bepis on me
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Mar 31, 2016 20:39
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So, uhhh, Mumfy, I uhhhhh..... I need advice on this..... uhhhh, thing. So hooooowwwww.... would I go about trying, to... uhhh..... what I want to know is..... if I wanMYASSHOLEISASBIGASAMASONJAR! *hangs up*
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Mar 31, 2016 20:40
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:So, uhhh, Mumfy, I uhhhhh..... I need advice on this..... uhhhh, thing. So hooooowwwww.... would I go about trying, to... uhhh..... what I want to know is..... if I wanMYASSHOLEISASBIGASAMASONJAR! wow talk about a softball question you call this journalism
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Mar 31, 2016 20:42
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:my loyal listeners. if you ever loved me please defend me Well I think your show is enormously entertaining as it is, but maybe you could draw a broader demographic if you hired a wacky sidekick with a funny voice and an animal name. Something like "Mumphrey and the Ibex". Oh and add sound effects. The Hindenburg play-by-play always makes me laugh.
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Mar 31, 2016 21:32
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Hi Jerry! Huge fan! Haven't listened for a while on account of I finally bought a TV a few years ago, but my TV has since been stolen so now im back. Anyway thats mostly irrellevant, I am looking for some advice. Here is my problem. I have to wake up in the morning, almost every day and go to work, which sucks, but I could deal with it except for one thing... Every morning when I wake up I am very sleepy and want to go back to bed, BUT I CAN'T for the aformentioned reasons (having to go to work almost every day (not saturday or sunday though)). What do I do?
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Mar 31, 2016 21:34
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Odessa awaits ye Jerry!!
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Mar 31, 2016 21:49
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bababooey bababooey lady gaga's penis
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Mar 31, 2016 21:55
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