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Nope, nobody submitted anything.
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May 12, 2016 21:19
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I'm pretty disappointed in these. I mean most of these just seem to be tweets turned onto a page.
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May 13, 2016 22:13
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Asterios posted:Nope, nobody submitted anything. initially I was intrigued by your challenge. but I don't have much of a response to "let's see if you can do better" because I really just wanted you to do better. at least some of the people in this thread like a lot of your stuff and just know you can do better. if you feel insulted and are retaliating with low effort throw-aways, that wasn't my intention.
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May 17, 2016 14:10
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scott zoloft posted:initially I was intrigued by your challenge. but I don't have much of a response to "let's see if you can do better" because I really just wanted you to do better. at least some of the people in this thread like a lot of your stuff and just know you can do better. What low effort throwaways? I honestly don't get this criticism. If anything, graphical content takes more time to create than prose-only content. It's easy to go "hurr hurr u made six JPGs cant believe LOWTAX gave u MY TENBUX" but it can be harder to write & design graphic one-liners than a five hundred word article. That's like judging how good a painting is based on the size of the canvas. It's dumb. Something else you might not realize: graphical content performs a lot better, because people like retweeting and sharing graphic-driven comedy. http://www.somethingawful.com/news/star-wars-spoilers/ <-- this got retweeted by Carrie Fisher from the red carpet of The Force Awakens premiere to her one million followers. http://www.somethingawful.com/news/donald-trump-contradictions/ <-- these got so much traffic that people started stealing the JPGs, and Lowtax had to go after content thieves. http://www.somethingawful.com/news/more-tombstone-goofs/ <-- these were featured on the front page of the Huffington Post. I have a shitload more examples of this, but you guys seem to want every article to be filled with hundreds and hundreds of lines of text. If that's what you like, awesome, read someone else's stupid bullshit. My stupid bullshit has a lot of graphics in it. It's hard to argue the merits of comedy because it's entirely subjective. But calling the poo poo I produce low-effort is just stupid. Jesus christ, the thing I made yesterday took loving forever. Asterios fucked around with this message at 18:54 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 17:40
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Asterios posted:What low effort throwaways? I honestly don't get this criticism. If anything, graphical content takes more time to create than prose-only content. That's like painting one painting, copying and pasting it 6 times, and then calling it 6 paintings. Asterios posted:Something else you might not realize: graphical content performs a lot better, because people like retweeting and sharing graphic-driven comedy. I liked Trump vs Trump. I saw that huffpo picked up your tombstone goofs and that's cool. i don't think either of us think that the amount of shares or tweets something gets is an accurate metric for how funny something is. and i can jack it forever without any effort so time taken doesn't equate to how much effort you put into something. like if http://www.somethingawful.com/news/mean-girl-states/ took forever, there aren't as many units of comedy per units of time spent as in http://www.somethingawful.com/news/slate-clickbait-headlines/ .
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May 17, 2016 18:57
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scott zoloft posted:That's like painting one painting, copying and pasting it 6 times, and then calling it 6 paintings. Jesus christ, are you getting paid to be a pedantic rear end in a top hat or something? Because A) I am, and B) you know what I'm trying to say here. It's dumb to judge comedy based on reuse. They did The Blues Brothers on SNL a few times, then they used it to make one of the best movies of all time. I made some dumb tombstone jokes, people liked them, I made more of them. If you think this is lazy, whatever. Asterios fucked around with this message at 19:16 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 19:10
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Asterios posted:Jesus christ, are you getting paid to be a pedantic rear end in a top hat or something? Because A) I am, and B) you know what I'm trying to say here. well I'm at work right now so I guess I am. I don't have a problem with your tombstone spoofs. I thought the first set was all right. i'm glad they were featured on huffpo.
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May 17, 2016 19:38
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scott zoloft posted:i don't think either of us think that the amount of shares or tweets something gets is an accurate metric for how funny something is. Yeah, I totally agree with this, just look at Jay Leno. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's funny. But I also think it's my job to help the site stay alive. I've been reading the front page since 2001. 15 years later I'm lucky enough writing for it, and I'm looking to bring in views and shares so Lowtax can buy his kids diapers. A lot of that comes down to creating content that works in new formats, like graphic heavy stuff.
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May 17, 2016 20:50
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Asterios posted:What low effort throwaways? I honestly don't get this criticism. If anything, graphical content takes more time to create than prose-only content. See, I both agree and disagree with this. I do understand that getting the composition of graphical content can be difficult and time consuming, and it's incredibly easy to execute it incorrectly, so I know the time and consideration that can go into that. But at the same time, I don't exactly agree that it is 100% what you've done with previous articles. Using the tombstone article as an example, I find it hard to imagine there was much composition work once you had the initial file set up correctly from the first article. It feels like afterwards it would just coming up with the jokes for it, none of which are really interconnected beyond 'these are inappropriate for a tombstone.' I mean, even though Livestock's dog classifieds are pretty simple, what with just being text blocked off to look like a part of a newspaper classifieds section, it feels like higher effort due to the textual content as well. The issue I have, and I think others have, is that your articles are mostly just lists. They're a style of humor the site really hasn't used in such an obvious fashion, and they're generally seen as weak content-wise. The burlesque article is the worst offender, but the other articles people are voicing dislike for break down to 'this is a list of funny/unexpected stuff' slapped onto pictures. The Trump articles are pretty funny, but most people are gonna see it as just text slapped on a jpeg, but it's funny because you have a setup and a punchline that isn't just the headline to the article followed by rattling off the punchlines. I get that that's pretty much how content has gone these days, and since it's part of a business the front page should follow trends to stay relevant (dead gay forums not withstanding), but that doesn't mean it's gonna click with everyone. It's a modern format on a site that has poo poo all over places like Cracked and College Humor for the same style of humor. We're all grumpy old curmudgeons who can't deal with the newfangled jokes these dang kids like.
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May 18, 2016 12:12
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John Dyne posted:The issue I have, and I think others have, is that your articles are mostly just lists. They're a style of humor the site really hasn't used in such an obvious fashion, and they're generally seen as weak content-wise. If people don't like list-form comedy, I can't blame them. It's a format -- I know plenty of people who hate longform improv, or YouTube sketch, and it's just their taste. I grew up watching Conan, which had a ton of lists, so it's just something that's always stuck with me. Stuff like Actual Items, In The Year 2000, Celebrity Survey...some of those punchlines still make me laugh decades later. Another thing I like about list content is how well it works on mobile. For example, 90% of Twitter's traffic is mobile. We're all looking for bullshit to read while we're on line at the pharmacy or on the bus or whatever, and it's easier to plow through quick punchlines than an essay. And because the stuff's small and graphical, you can attach some of the gags to a tweet, which gives people the chance to read a punchline or two before they decide to click. I grew up writing longform content, and reading Something Awful, so I totally get why people like it. It's just really hard for me to promote it. I think that stuff plays well on Medium, where they've trained their audience to pay attention. But so little of SA's traffic comes from people visiting the front page that it's just easier for me to target people on social, and people on social find value in shorter stuff. Asterios fucked around with this message at 16:55 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 16:52
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I for one am glad SA has such a dedicated and hardworking clickbait writer on staff.
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May 22, 2016 17:48
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Yeah, sorry I'm not contributing comedic gems like yours:Pittsburgh Lambic posted:it's all fun and games and farts that go *poooooooot* until you suddenly let out a fart that goes *thrrrrrrrrrp* and are sent scrambling to the restroom with sagging work pants
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May 23, 2016 05:10
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yes, by all means turn into a defensive little poo poo comparing the shitposts of a shitposting forum goon to the garbage that you're inexplicably getting paid to write on the front page asterios when will you write the article about the time you did a bachelor party where you and everyone else dressed up as harry potter characters hoping that the girls at strip clubs would approach you out of pity
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May 23, 2016 06:11
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:yes, by all means turn into a defensive little poo poo comparing the shitposts of a shitposting forum goon to the garbage that you're inexplicably getting paid to write on the front page Well, at least you admitted you're a worthless loving shitposter. Pittsburgh Lambic posted:
That story will actually be in my book, which comes out this November in bookstores nationwide! Asterios fucked around with this message at 08:16 on May 23, 2016 |
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May 23, 2016 08:08
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what's your book going to be about?
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May 23, 2016 12:42
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scott zoloft posted:what's your book going to be about? Fake toys.
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May 23, 2016 15:43
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Some of these articles were really good, some not so good. I liked the Donald Trump contradictions article. The burlesque dancer article? It did seem kind of recycled. Surgeons lose patients. Comedy writers write substandard articles. It happens.
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May 23, 2016 19:24
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i liked today's picto-article, too
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May 23, 2016 20:00
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scott zoloft posted:i liked today's picto-article, too Thanks, dude!
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May 23, 2016 21:24
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scott zoloft posted:i liked today's picto-article, too Same, I wanna see that medal his dad earned
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May 24, 2016 21:57
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I thought your last few articles were funny, I've read most of the ones you've put on the front page. They've (almost) all made me laugh. Only one I didn't really get was the one about livetweeting a baby to sleep on a plane. Otherwise, I like your writing style and would be sorry to see you go. As an aside, you're very funny on the Maddox podcast too. 
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May 28, 2016 01:14
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what happened to dick? o_O that was an awkward finale.
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May 31, 2016 19:45
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Stabbatical posted:As an aside, you're very funny on the Maddox podcast too. Yeah, I remember Asterios' first appearance was my favorite episode for a long time. Welp, looking forward to your own regular podcast Asterios!
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Jun 6, 2016 05:57
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Symbolic Butt posted:Yeah, I remember Asterios' first appearance was my favorite episode for a long time. Welp, looking forward to your own regular podcast Asterios! Thanks, dude! Probably towards the end of the year.
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Jun 6, 2016 11:14
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http://www.somethingawful.com/news/japanese-mcnugget-burgler/ Are you even in Japan? If not, then arranging the theft of any Japanese chicken nuggets is going to be difficult, let alone 48. Anyway, chicken nuggets can't be beefy. That would make them beef nuggets. I'm not even going to ask why a band with 25 members calls itself Niigata 48. I'm not doubting you, I just don't want to get into it.
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Jun 20, 2016 21:47
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gleebster posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/news/japanese-mcnugget-burgler/ I just want to be considered for McNuggetburglary...is that so wrong...
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Jun 21, 2016 01:01
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what did we ever do to you
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Jul 2, 2016 17:17
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scott zoloft posted:what did we ever do to you You started a hate thread about my writing?
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Jul 3, 2016 01:15
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"Sea" You In Hell has been making me smile randomly ever since I saw it. But then, my partially sighted husband had a motor driven rubber dinghy that we named 'Blind Fury' so I'm not really a comedy arbiter. Some people just don't like absurdism!
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Jul 3, 2016 07:46
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I enjoyed some of these boat names, thanks Asterios.
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Jul 3, 2016 08:42
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Asterios posted:You started a hate thread about my writing? no, I made an encouragement thread. why isn't it working 
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Jul 3, 2016 15:10
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scott zoloft posted:no, I made an encouragement thread. "Waaah waaaahhh the content from the Monday writer isn't the type I'm used too"
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Jul 3, 2016 15:38
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I never said it's not what I'm used to. I said it wasn't very good! You could poo poo in my mouth and tell me it takes some getting used to and I'll tell you No sir I don't like it.
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Jul 3, 2016 15:48
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scott zoloft posted:I never said it's not what I'm used to. I said it wasn't very good! Oh! Then gently caress you twice
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Jul 3, 2016 19:37
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I searched Huffington Post for boat+jokes and boat+jokes+bad but I didn't turn up anything.
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Jul 4, 2016 04:34
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One of the boats should have turned out to have actually been a horse. Worked last time.
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Jul 5, 2016 21:42
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Asterios posted:Oh! Then gently caress you twice Turns out you're not good at front page articles or posting!
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Jul 12, 2016 16:47
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asterios, i volunteer myself as your attorney. please purchase plat for me so that I may search your past posts to build a defense case for your "bad posting".
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Jul 12, 2016 21:00
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Davoren posted:Turns out you're not good at front page articles or posting! You know who'd disagree with you? The thousands and thousands of people who liked and shared my front page article this week. But my posting is bad. If only I were more like you, a guy who makes post after post about how to raise imaginary video game birds! Davoren posted:So if I understand race chocobo breeding correctly, the stats themselves don't matter as much as the maximums, so there's no point in not retiring my first chocobo when it hits 40?
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Jul 13, 2016 01:46
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Asterios posted:You know who'd disagree with you? The thousands and thousands of people who liked and shared my front page article this week. Sorry.....but that article was a flop. No laughs had.
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Jul 13, 2016 02:11
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