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AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Skwirl posted:

I mean, if the kid's parents constantly talk poo poo about Biden and how he should burn in hell I could see an 8 year old internalizing that.

If you ask an 8 year old who the think should be president, 99% of the time they'll say whoever their parents think.

Yeah, my son was a bit older (13) in the run up to Trump's presidency, but developmentally and emotionally closer to about 8 or so. Myself and his grandmother had been having conversations in our household between ourselves about Trump's rampant sexism problem, and when my son was asked who he would vote for (if he could), his answer was "Anyone but Trump. He doesn't like women!"

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effervescible
Jun 29, 2012

i will eat your soul
My at-the-time five-year-old nephew legit cried when he heard Trump won, I saw it with my own eyes. Was he a super politically engaged kindergartner? No, he just knew his parents were upset and that signaled to him that a Bad Thing happened, so he got upset too.

ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


I was at my brother's recently and saw that one or both of my nieces had completely scratched out Joe Biden's face in some kids' magazine article, like NatGeo Kids or something about Biden's dogs. They're both 7 and my brother and his wife are kinda turbochuds.

a fatguy baldspot
Aug 29, 2018

Can confirm, as a special ed teacher in the south, Joe Biden is the bad guy and mean and Donald Trump is the good guy and nice.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

When I was in Russian kindergarten, a guy called Tero shat his pants. Or maybe it was Timo.

The Wicked ZOGA
Jan 27, 2022

It was you.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010


You couldn't get me to wear pants.

Gambor
Oct 24, 2005

3D Megadoodoo posted:

You couldn't get me to wear pants.

Is that why you shat Timo's pants?

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Something came out of the rear end of Timo.

The Wicked ZOGA
Jan 27, 2022

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Something came out of the rear end of Timo.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Well, I'm just glad TT is TT.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
It came from quora

We sold our truck six years ago. We just found out that the buyer never registered it in his name. He’s now been arrested for hit and run and possibly DUI. Are we responsible in any way?

quote:

You shouldn’t be responsible if you have signed the back of the paperwork required.

The last time I sold a car, INSTANTLY this came into question, with almost deadly results …

See, I had never used Craig’s List before.

I typed up the ad and took some pictures of my freshly washed 2003 Toyota Corolla. It was a great car with a bazillion miles on it but it ran great and was spotless.


I priced it at only $2,500 to get rid of the old girl fast. I typed in my address and phone number and hit “enter”.

In just half an hour, I had an appointment with a heavily accented Mexican lady who sounded like she was somebody’s grandmother. She knew the address posted in the add and she said she’d be right over.

In five minutes, they were in my drive, looking through the windows.

I will not say I “had a funny feeling” but I did know that in dealing with Mexicans, they customarily like to trade in folding money … Yankee Dollar Bills.

I stopped off in my den then headed for the door, past the three baying herd dogs at my door.

“Shhhh! Stop barking, guys! It’s okay … “

I pulled on my long jeans jacket with the white collar and went out to meet them.

The nice couple was about what I expected.

She was round and about 4 feet tall, maybe 65 years old. (Same as me!) He was taller than I but skinny as a rail. His fine tooled brown face was weathered from years of hard work.

He shuffled in his spotless white cowboy hat and pointed boots as I approached. They had “dressed up” just to meet me. How nice.

I smiled and shook hands, knowing right away these people were a “good fit” for the great car they would be getting.

I had him get out his CA identification card (no driver’s license) and she showed me her CADL, explaining that she would be the driver.

Her “chob” was to “a-clean dee-people house”.

This was the couple’s first car I was told with obvious pride.

“Awwww. How nice,” I thought.

You can’t help respecting a successful marriage that has lasted so many decades. I knew they were getting a sound car for an excellent price. I felt good about the whole transaction.

I signed the back of the title, releasing interest in the vehicle. I had him fill out his address on the coloerd bit of paper that gets mailed to the DMV. I would mail it to them personally to see that it gets done.

Then I laid it all out on the trunk and photographed it all with my phone, including the stack of currency in the shot.

I had no sooner handed her the keys and stuffed the pile of bills into my jeans, when a white Nissan, blaring that “Boom-Chicka Boom!” music, full of Mexican “20 somethings” shot into the drive. All four piled out like they owned the place.

Right away, I could tell … they were gang members.

What’s more, they had just just blocked all the cars in my driveway.

“HEY! Jew sellin’ dat car to ME, Essay!” mister white tee shirt said as he sauntered up with a comical “Bantam Rooster Walk”.

“What? Was he crippled our something?” I almost laughed to myself. The “accent” was surely too fake to be real.

His right hand man beside him, held forth a cell phone. There was some guy’s tattooed FACE on it.

We were being filmed.

Someone was directing this transaction by phone!

“Sorry, Compadres! (What was I supposed to call this uninvited group in my driveway?)

“You’ll have to talk to this lady. The car is hers.”

“NONONONONO! Jew sellin’ it to ME! I geeve jew more MONEEEY!”

“I don’t need “Jore Money”, pal! The car is hers and is not mine anymore.”

A word was spoken to the image on the cell phone. Two of the punks moved behind each of the couple. One put hands on the nice lady’s shoulders.

She recoiled in fear. The old man balled up his fists but was frozen in place.

THAT got my gears grinding. I took a step back and made note of where “everybody stood”. My lips were drawn tight with this old habit I’d learned half a century ago.

“TELL him, Mano!” came from the face on the cell phone.

“Dee car ess OURS!” one said and shoved the old gentleman in the back.

“Maybe you have the money een your pockeeet?” the leader said, as he looked at me, slowly turning his head sideways like a dog examining some roadkill.

“Yeah. Two thousand’ fie hundredt,” another said, also steeping into the game.

“Alright! This is about DONE!” I said as I lifted my jacket.


Tucked into my pants was the 45 automatic that Uncle Kenny wore when he was blown out of a Sherman Tank in the Korean War. It is a huge, mean “rock thrower” that never, ever failed.

This did NOT stop them completely but it did give them pause.

One spoke into the phone in Spanish. The brittle exchange happened between them and their “boss” as I did some mental calculations for this little potential “throw down”.

“Too many nearby windows,” I thought.

I kept reminding myself the old soldier’s hand cannon only carried 7 shots and I’d need to keep count.

The phone conversation concluded with, “Jes. I theenk THEES old man would DO it!”

The “stances” they were taking made me realize that yes, they were probably all armed.

No help for it, I thought as the one grasping the grandmother by the shoulders pressed down on her.

She let out a yelp and I instantly had Uncle Kenny’s 45 in their leader’s face. I clicked off the safety.

Tweekers are sure brave.

I caught the look in his eye and, remembering my training from a war 50 years ago that few like to discuss, I pulled the pistol (still aimed at his center mass) back into my chest, holding it tight with both hands.

I took a quick step back, out of reach as his snatch for my gun grasped open air.

OHHHHHHHHHH! I came SOOOO close …

Instead, I screamed “You’re DEAD, Essay!”

My yell sounded like the gunshot I wanted it to.

“You want to get everybody out here KILLED, Hombre?”

“You - let - these - nice - people - a-LONE and get OFF my PROPERTY!” I said in a quiet, even tone.

They backed up with their hands in the air. The phone clattered to the ground with a cracked screen that winked out. One of the kids snatched it up and stumbled into the car.

Off they roared. One of them could not resist holding up his middle finger as they drove off.

Just for a second … JUST a SECOND, mind you, I KNEW Uncle Kenny’s 45 could have taken that finger clean off.

Pew!

I had the trembling couple wait in my driveway for a bit. My wife came out in her house robe and slippers with two bottles of Walmart ice water for them.

“What have you got for me?” I asked my best friend.

She blushed. The woman I married gave me that little sideways smile I’d come to love over all these years.

She reached into her house coat’s pocket and handed me … a spare magazine.

“Seven shots … “ I began.

“Hit it or not!” she responded.

Good girl!

The moral of the story … Sign the paperwork … Take pictures of everything …

And never, EVER put your address on Craig’s List!
1.1k upvotes

Catzilla
May 12, 2003

"Untie the queen"


Splicer posted:

It came from quora

We sold our truck six years ago. We just found out that the buyer never registered it in his name. He’s now been arrested for hit and run and possibly DUI. Are we responsible in any way?

1.1k upvotes

This was written one handed, wasn’t it?

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

100% chance this dude loves Clint Eastwood.

a fatguy baldspot
Aug 29, 2018

Uncle Kenny shaking his drat head looking down from heaven

tpink
Feb 18, 2013

Melman

Splicer posted:

It came from quora

We sold our truck six years ago. We just found out that the buyer never registered it in his name. He’s now been arrested for hit and run and possibly DUI. Are we responsible in any way?

1.1k upvotes

Literally came in here to post something from Quora, which to me at least, has been a hitherto undiscovered rich vein of STDH. (And holy cow, that is some wildly offensive but absolutely hilarious STDH.)


https://qr.ae/pvAcsj

quote:

What is the most inappropriate thing that happened to you in prison?

I went to jail for possession and within 10 minutes of walking in the pod and laying down a young thug wanna be told me to go beat on the glass and tell them to put me in a different pod. Little did he know I have been fighting my whole life so I laughed at him and he put his fists up so I head-butted him and shattered his nose and eye sockets. I was embarrassed because he was much smaller than me and I got in trouble.

After he went down his supposed friends looked at me and didn't do anything. I guess him and his friends of 18 year olds had been dominating the pod for a few months. I really felt bad because I should have just tried to defuse the situation and all it did was give me more time. So the guards took me out because they thought I wouldn't be safe in there. That was pretty embarrassing. But they put me with the old timers and it was all good.

Edit: Thank you for the likes. If there's one thing I can do it's fight. He definitely barked up the wrong tree. I wanted to stay in the cell so I could beat him up everyday and have him bringing me coffee every morning but like I said the guard thought I wouldn't be safe.
So they took me out and we went to the guard shack while they searched for another pod.

I thought maybe they were going to let me go. They asked me what my charges were and they told me I would most likely be released on my own accord in the morning. And given a court date. That didn't happen. Lol

I bet dollars to doughnuts that the real story is that this guy had his rear end kicked and had to have the guards come in and rescue him by transferring him to another pod. Bet on it.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

tpink posted:

Literally came in here to post something from Quora, which to me at least, has been a hitherto undiscovered rich vein of STDH. (And holy cow, that is some wildly offensive but absolutely hilarious STDH.)


https://qr.ae/pvAcsj

I bet dollars to doughnuts that the real story is that this guy had his rear end kicked and had to have the guards come in and rescue him by transferring him to another pod. Bet on it.

Probably more likely he either never was arrested or only served a couple weeks and nothing serious happened to him.

Pneub
Mar 12, 2007

I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN
Coincidentally more Quora:

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



I, too, make stew so bland that it has no odor.

The Wicked ZOGA
Jan 27, 2022

I've never seen anyone express any doubt about the Jorts the Cat story but it's definitely fiction right

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

I'm a jorts truther

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

the Jorts the Cat story

:raise:

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

I've never seen anyone express any doubt about the Jorts the Cat story but it's definitely fiction right

I want to believe, and only a scab wouldn't

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013



Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

I want to believe, and only a scab wouldn't

:same:

Honestly I have no reason to doubt the story as a whole, an office having two cats and some miscommunication, plus adopting them.


https://twitter.com/JortsTheCat/status/1470948674880475139

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Serperoth posted:

Honestly I have no reason to doubt the story as a whole, an office having two cats and some miscommunication, plus adopting them.

Yeah, a place having two adorable cats -- one dumb, and one smart (or at least non-dumb) -- makes sense, but I can't imagine a universe in which Pam isn't a complete fabrication.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
Putting butter on a cat to try and teach it to clean itself is so dumb I kinda think it's not something you would think to make up.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

I’ve encountered just as dumb.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Skwirl posted:

Putting butter on a cat to try and teach it to clean itself is so dumb I kinda think it's not something you would think to make up.

It was a traditional thing to do to a cat when you moved, butter on the paws so it licked it off, but made no sense at all.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

sebmojo posted:

It was a traditional thing to do to a cat when you moved, butter on the paws so it licked it off, but made no sense at all.

Janet was putting butter on like, the cat's fur and whatnot.

Pneub
Mar 12, 2007

I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

What's so stdh about this? I'd absolutely believe that an HR person sucks that much.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Neito posted:

What's so stdh about this? I'd absolutely believe that an HR person sucks that much.

Mine yelled at me for having the audacity to ask if there was a clock on the new time clock website

They assure me that there isn't

I 100% believe they would do this

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!
The "everybody was dying laughing" part is pretty sus though. That line gets a knowing chuckle at best.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.

chitoryu12 posted:

I’ve encountered just as dumb.

R.I.P.

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.
“Everybody was dying laughing” is the only part of this that I don’t believe.

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Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it you little ho-bot :roboluv:

Detective No. 27 posted:

But those events are probably as rare as mass shootings. They occur quite frequently in Ameica but are still statistically rare.

On average almost twice a day in America.

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