GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Takeout, breakfast cereal, frozen pizza, ramen, anything with instructions reading "remove film before microwaving"

I (briefly) had an SO in college that ate like that, and one day she invited me over to celebrate an internship that I'd just gotten. Said she'd spent a shitton of time getting everything just right. I get there, and in the middle of her coffee table, flanked by candles, is a serving plate.

I'll give you a chance to guess what this fancypants I-slaved-all-day meal was.

Hamburger Helper

Now I'm no five-star chef, and I've eaten some po-folk/lazy-folk food in my life, but I've never beamed with pride at my ability to brown ground beef and then dump poo poo in the pan. I was floored. At first I thought she was kidding, but nope. If social media had been around back then, there'd definitely be a badly-lit photo of a heaping plate of ground beef box dinner tagged #congratsfai #cookingformyboy #wifeintraining floating around somewhere.

Thin Privilege posted:

My sighs got louder and my eyes rolled farther into my head with each one. I don't know why this particular group was so incredibly irritating.

Khazar-khum posted:

Friends

Samizdata posted:

Through hook or crook, this troper ended up with several lockers at the biggest high school he attended which were all over the campus. He would park stuff in various lockers to make the trip easier. Later he spun things into a timesharing arrangement with others, which funded his soda and snack habit whilst at school.

Furia posted:

Uhhh...

What am I supposed to be feeling/understanding exactly?

Whitlam posted:

Sorry, should have clarified. It wasn't weed, it was ice/meth, so nah. I slept perfectly fine and will continue to. Also fwiw pretty sure the dumb person is the one who took selfies on a phone with lots of pictures and texts about manufacturing and distributing, and didn't even put a passcode on the phone.

RoboRodent posted:

owns a bat'leth.

RoboRodent posted:

not a goddamn moron.

AlbieQuirky posted:

I want to shop wherever you folks shop that the cashiers aren't always commenting on your purchases. Half the time, people are either asking me "Is this good? How would I cook this?" and the like, or making hilarious jokes like "Looks like you're having a party! Am I invited?"

Trader Joe's is the worst for this.

Blurred posted:

whacky vagina convo

EmmyOk posted:

They are both p clearly mocking typical STDH tropes, please tell me I have a tiny brain and I am missing your meta jokes because it's impossible you don't realise they are jokes.

gschmidl posted:

(which I'll believe happened but it fits too well to not post it)

Ein cooler Typ posted:

Trebek posted:

life is killing me posted:

I really don't understand the need to get tattoos and piercings that are visible in business casual and then wonder why organizations and corporations don't want to hire you.

The reality is, if you don't think about these things before you permanently adorn your body, you're basically consigning yourself to more limited options than you'd have if you stifled the inexplicable need to express yourself at all times, even in places where such expression is inappropriate.