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DOPE FIEND KILLA G

i'm really into sitting outside the bedroom while my wife drops heavy objects on the bed next to her and i get phone alerts that she's cheating on me. it really turns me on. in a sexual sense. huh,, if only there was a word for such a thing

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DOPE FIEND KILLA G

[talking to smartmattress] siri, show me the map to pleasure town, baby.

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

as a sapiosexual i am so happy that i can finally have sex with anyone regardless of intellect by using Smarttress's brain as an intellectual proxy. now i just need to find a girl who wants to touch me

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

google THIS posted:

1.0 out of 5 stars Does not work
By NiceGuy69 on March 3, 2016
The "Lover Detection Technology" is faulty, because my phone told me the mattress had detected a lover and when I got to the apartment it turned out he was actually a fighter. So now I have a concussion and she told me never to speak to her again and changed her locks. Now I can't even get the mattress back to return it, so not only can I not get my money back but I wasted all that time finding her spare key and sneaking the mattress into her apartment while she was at work. I didn't even get a date out of it.

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