- DOPE FIEND KILLA G
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i'm really into sitting outside the bedroom while my wife drops heavy objects on the bed next to her and i get phone alerts that she's cheating on me. it really turns me on. in a sexual sense. huh,, if only there was a word for such a thing
 
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Apr 18, 2016 23:46
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 11:15
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- DOPE FIEND KILLA G
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[talking to smartmattress] siri, show me the map to pleasure town, baby.
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Apr 18, 2016 23:47
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- DOPE FIEND KILLA G
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as a sapiosexual i am so happy that i can finally have sex with anyone regardless of intellect by using Smarttress's brain as an intellectual proxy. now i just need to find a girl who wants to touch me
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Apr 18, 2016 23:54
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- DOPE FIEND KILLA G
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1.0 out of 5 stars Does not work
By NiceGuy69 on March 3, 2016
The "Lover Detection Technology" is faulty, because my phone told me the mattress had detected a lover and when I got to the apartment it turned out he was actually a fighter. So now I have a concussion and she told me never to speak to her again and changed her locks. Now I can't even get the mattress back to return it, so not only can I not get my money back but I wasted all that time finding her spare key and sneaking the mattress into her apartment while she was at work. I didn't even get a date out of it.
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Apr 19, 2016 17:14
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Apr 18, 2016 23:46
